Once I arrived in US, I was astonished; everything was different. The people were different, the environment was different, everything was different. It was an eye-opening experience. I truly believe that there is nothing that makes you more mature, and helps you to find your own identity in the context of your own culture and family than traveling to another country, experiencing another culture, finding another family. It was particularly life-changing for me because of the vast differences between Bolivian culture (my culture) and American culture.
It was back in 2014, I won a scholarship from the US government called “Youth Ambassadors." It was a scholarship to go on an exchange program in the US for 3 weeks. I traveled there with others from Bolivia as well as with Ecuadorians and Peruvians. The program's objective was to strengthen the relationships among people from different countries, to learn from them, to develop our interpersonal and leadership skills, to promote mutual understanding, and to prepare us to make a difference in our own communities.
There, I had to be able to deal with responsibility by myself, to be independent and, in a lot of ways, act like an adult. I had to manage my time, wake up early, wash my clothes, go to the workshops we had, and get there on time. I guess I did a pretty good job overall. I acquired a lot of experience. It was separate from home, at home I was always doing what my parents wanted me to do. On my trip I became an autonomous person, prepared to live life as an adult.
I truly believe this interchange program changed me because it made me aware that trips like the one I went on are the only way to fully integrate myself into other countries, into new societies full of knowledge. Integration is the most important way to make great leaps for the improvement of countries and their relationships with each other. This experience helped me to open my cultural vision. I found out that even among people from countries in which the people spoke the same language, it was difficult and complicated to understand each other. This happened many times because we had different ways of saying things. I remember the Ecuadorians were really direct when expressing themselves, they spoke loudly, which was rare for me to experience because in my country people talking like that would be considered impolite. That caused misunderstandings among us and the Ecuadorians at the beginning of our journey. Having this opportunity to share and learn from other cultures, not only American culture, and individuals, enables us to build stronger relationships, which after, made us more tolerant and comprehensible. In fact, after the program finished, I had gained a really good friend, who was from Ecuador.
We did different things, he had training, presentations, visits to high schools, local cultural activities, homestays, civic, and more. During my homestay in Chicago I made a lot of friends; my new family was from Israel, I had a sister who was amazing, and thanks to her I met people from all over the world, from Norway , Russia, Mexico and even Australia. It really helped me to view the world differently. I learned that each culture has its own way of thinking, we are so different, but that it what makes the world a better place. In hindsight I would say that I used to be much more of a close-minded-person. Today world is in a process of globalization, in many aspects, how it is possible to have this process without understanding different cultures?
Overall, the program influenced me to be a better leader, to become a responsible citizen and a contributing member of my community, to tolerate the others, and to be aware of the importance of the participation of the members of a community to make it a better place.
Topic(Personal statement): Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
I think it’s okay. Your writing is pretty good, but your topic and especially what you say about it is pretty cliche.
You need to delete this if you still can or ask a moderator. Do NOT post your essays online.
Well you can consider this essay burnt now that you have posted it online.
I find it a bit stilted and a little boring. It is unsophisticated compared to essays I have read from prospective Princeton students. Yes it does sound a bit cliche in parts. But your ‘voice’ does come through and I am learning some things about you from this. I think you have to try to compress some of this and be more compact in describing things. I think the key to this essay working better is to avoid a blow by blow description (we did this, then we did that) and enlarge upon the part where it changed you. You only touch on that at the end, and you didn’t say anything about what action you then took to be more responsible, better leader etc. Also you mention vast differences in culture in your opening but then you didn’t really follow that with anything concrete.
In future, ask for readers and Private Message your essay to volunteers. Read the notes in the threads that are pinned to the top of the forum for suggestions and tips about not posting essays online.
Probably you have to be one of the top students in Bolivia to get admission to Princeton. Be sure to have colleges on your list that aren’t as hard to get into.
sorry buddy but this essay will do you no favors…