can sobody help me becuase english is not my first language

College Essays
1

<p>q:Share an experience from your high school years through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences.</p>

<p>Coming to the USA was a cultural shock to me. Everything from the food, and the life style were different to the culture I was used to. I remembered that the first week of me eating American food turned my weak stomach upside down. I first mingle with people of other races in my ESL class. Juan Martinez was the first friend that I made. While we were friends we both compared and contrasted our different culture. I came to the conclusion that Mexican people likes spicy food as much as Caribbean people do. I also came in contact with Tula, an African prince in exile due to a war that was going in his country. Sometimes I felt like I was in a worldwide event because I was surrounded by smart, bilingual, people that I would have never met if I had not came to the USA. I see myself as being flexible because I was able to adapt myself to a new culture by learning from theirs, and by sharing my own. I know that this experience helped me because it taught me that no matter who you are dealing with you have to learn how to live with them.</p>

<p>i t has to be 200 words
it is for uga</p>

2

<p>bumpppp this</p>

3

<p>What kind of help do you need? I think you’ve expressed yourself very well. Too bad you only have 200 words because this topic is worthy of a full length essay.</p>

4

<p>You’ve got small some grammar issues.</p>

<p>It’s “different from” not “different to.”</p>

<p>“I remember that” and “I first mingled with.”</p>

<p>“people like” not likes</p>

5

<p>I think you can be proud of this answer. Nice job. :)</p>

6

<p>can you look at the other 3 essays please
Can anybody edit my college essay please because English is not my first language?
question:Choose an intellectual or creative opportunity that you have enjoyed and highlight how you have grown personally because of the experience. </p>

<p>I found myself falling in love with everything that had to do with medicine. However, now I will have to say that my mother is the main reason why I want to pursue a career in Health Care. I found an opportunity of a life time because my county offered health care classes at another school called RCA, so I took three of the four classes that they offered. I learned how to take the height, blood pressure, weight, move a patient, and I learned a lot of medical terminology. I also gained my CPR card while taking these classes. In addition, I also found in what I wanted to specialize in. I found that I wanted to be a cardiologist because being of black descendant I saw that my community needed me there the most. After being around the name of numerous deadly diseases, I found the secret of the true meaning of "needs and wants" because I saw myself being blessed just because I was alive and healthy. Now I see life as being the thing that matters the most to me.</p>

<p>essay2
questions:Tell us an interesting or amusing story about yourself that you have not already shared in your application. </p>

<p>One day, my sister told me to clean the floor for her but at the time I had never cleaned a wooden floor in my life because in the Bahammas we do not have wooden floors. I went under the cabinets and I saw a bottle that had a shiny piece of wood on it, so I sprayed it all over the floor, and I have to say that the floor was very shiny. While I was looking at the floor I felt like I did a good job because I was able to my see my reflection on it. However as I walked on the floor, I fell backward, and my head bounced twice on the floor. I felt like I was paralyzed from the waist down. Cookie which is our dog was there with me, and she looked like she was laughing her butt off at me. God knows that I tried to walk up those stairs, and there again I went three stairs down on my butt. It took me two days until I was able to walk back on the wooden floor, and go down the stars without anybody holding me.</p>

<p>essay 3
question: Aliens from another planet have landed in your neighborhood and have asked you to show them around your town for one day in order to learn about life on Earth. Where do you take them and what do you do? </p>

<p>I live in a town called Conyers which I find being beautiful and well preserved. My instinct tells me that if an alien landed in Conyers I would definitely show him or her, my favorite restaurant called Ma Famillia. As you see, I would have decided to go to a restaurant because I love to eat. Ma Famillia is the best Italian restaurant in the whole state of Georgia. At the restaurant, I would ask Antonio to prepare me a large plate of pasta for my new alien best friend. I would take Tom Tom, my new alien friend to the back corner of the restaurant and eat all day there. After eating at Ma Familia, I would take Tom Tom ice skating even though the price of ice skating went up three dollars when we are still in a recession. Later on, I would take Tom Tom to a small creak close to my school which I call “peace of mind.” I call this place “peace of mind” because I go there when I feel down. At the river I would ask him about where he is from and then tell him about where I am from.</p>

<p>the essays have to be 200 words
thank you a lot</p>

7

<p>They’re fine. Some small things: </p>

<p>Essay 1: “I also found what I want to specialize in” not “found in.” You use “found” an awful lot in this essay. Try to think of some other words–“discover” perhaps? Also, don’t capitalize “health care.” Finally “being of black descent” not “descendant.”</p>

<p>Essay 2: “Bahamas” has only one “m”. “Cookie, our dog…” You don’t need the “which.” I’d probably leave out “God knows.”</p>

<p>Essay 3: “Creek” not “creak”</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>