Help after a terrible 1st semester

To be clear @oldfort, I do not (and neither does DC) blame the roommates. DC was happy to have found a friend group so quickly, but they are hard partiers, they room always has people in it. DC is (or was) on scholarship, the others don’t have to worry about GPA in order to have money to stay at school (short of completely flunking out). But it’s difficult to study in the room with people around and DC wasn’t comfortable telling this to the roommates and wanted to be included.

OP - I know you didn’t say you blamed the roommate, but some people may be jumping to that conclusion because you were thinking about moving your kid out of the room.

If there is time and you are worried about SAP, maybe consider a winter class at the local CC (IF permission can be obtained from the home school at this late point in time). In the alternative and if your child returns next semester and does well enough, consider enrolling in a class or 2 at the CC over the summer. My kids, who do not excel at math, took their gen ed math classes that way. Without the stress of worrying about the GPA (you need a C to get credit, but the grade doesn’t count), they both earned A’s.

It is my understanding that the FA year includes the following summer so credits earned then could count.

I think one key is this kiddo needs to find a study spot…library or study room someplace…and NOT plan to return to the room until the studying is complete. Then he can join in the fun…on the weekends.

If all of the extra people are partying in the room on week nights and preventing him from getting adequate sleep…this needs to be addressed.

Thanks, @techmom99, that’s DC’s plan B (stay home, CC one semester, go back…if allowed), and yes, @thumper1, DC often isn’t getting to sleep until 2, and the roommates sleep during the day, which DC doesn’t. Hopefully, DC can move, if not, I will pass along the suggestion of not returning to the room until the work is done.

thanks, @oldfort ; )

I think your kid is in good shape to have the various conversations with the college- it’s great that the adviser is already on board, since that’s the first question the Dean will have (“what does your adviser say?”)

RE: Aid- when you say federal aid- Pell Grant? Parent’s GI benefits? loans? Work Study? Let us know what your kid got for the first semester and we will summon Kelsmom, who is the resident expert on federal aid and how it is administered!

Thanks @Blossom, sounds like the advisor is in complete support (and had DC as a student and gave a B+) and is reviewing DC’s plan tomorrow here’s the aid: again, just finished the first semester of college.

Federal Pell Grant Award

Federal SEOG Grant

Federal Direct Subsidized Loan

Fed Direct Unsubsidized Loan

Federal Direct PLUS Loan

Federal Work Study

as well as school scholarship and grant

And thanks @blossom for your advice and support and your kind offer for help from an FA guru. Trying not to kill DC, and remember that 18 is still young and many many more mistakes will be made ; /.

@Kelsmom- we need you! Can you help this parent figure out which of these grants/loans are at risk after one semester and which ones will continue until year end?

OP- as a few wonderful long time posters here have stated (and saved MY sanity)- “just keep the ball in play”. Which is what you are doing. Nobody gets it right 100% of the time- keep your kid communicating with you, keep your kid safe and healthy, keep your kid from going into a spiral of self-loathing, and all of this will work itself out- just keep the ball in play.

Sorry to hear you are having health issues with another child at the same time- must be hard to keep your wits about you. Hugs to you.

Yes, @blossom, not loving this time of my life. Its been very hard all around. This DC is fairly stoic but confessed over thanksgiving how hard it’s having an ill sibling.

IIRC, each college establishes its own SAP criteria. This poster needs to contact THIS college to find out what aid is in jeopardy…and when that will be an issue.

This student failed two courses and has a 1.4 GPA. He needs to know exactly what he needs to do to get his financial aid.

It’s very possible that he could meet the SAP bar…which could be a 2.0 GPA or a 2.5…but NOT meet the bar for keeping any scholarships awarded by the college which require a higher GPA.

So…you need to ask ALL of the questions.

  1. What does my kid need to do to get himself into good enough academic standing to NOT be at risk for dismissal from the college...and when does this GPA calculation take place?
  2. What does my kid need to do to meet SAP requirements for the college...and when does that criteria need to be met? What does he need to do to meet SAP?
  3. What GPA does my kid need to have to continue his scholarships from the college? Will this be calculated at the end of the year? If he loses these scholarships for next year, can he get them back in subsequent years?
  4. How many terms can my kid be on academic probation before he is asked to leave the college?

These are tough questions to ask…but you need to know.

If his GPA is 1.4…he is likely able to get to the meeting SAP bar…but he might not be able to get his GPA up to the GPA requirement for scholarships. Then what? Even if he got all A’s…his GPA probably won’t reach 3.0 by the end of the year.

Thank you so much @thumper1. DC’s scholarship only requires a 2.0 so that’s very doable with a decent spring semester. I’ll have DC call the FA office in the morning and ask the other questions.

You might ask about a medical withdrawal from the failed classes too. However, be careful as he might have to return some financial aid if he didn’t have 12 credits. Save the gpa or save the money? Hard choice.

Be very careful with the plan that FA is okay with it, the number of credits, repeating courses, etc. My daughter’s adviser really didn’t know the financial aid part of it and gave advice on which courses to take based on graduating on time, not on how much it would cost. The study abroad people knew some of the financial aid rules but not all of them. Some departments are very good at their part of the puzzle but don’t know how the other parts fit in (the money, the scholarships, required gpa, number of credits).

A friend’s son screwed up twice, first by dropping to 11 credits his first semester and then by counting a remedial class as part of his ‘full time’ credits the next semester, and lost his scholarship. Once lost it couldn’t be reinstated. Not cool.

The reasons you list for DC’s failures seems kind of overwhelming. Has he or she been evaluated for ADHD, executive function issues or any other diagnosis that might merit accommodations (single room!) or extra advising for time management etc.?

I would not send a kid back after a semester with “late and missing assignment, disorganization, poor study habits, waiting until the last minute and turning in subpar work, not asking for help.” Not without an evaluation and accommodations. We don’t know the reason for these problems either. It sounds like partying or at least passively enduring partying in the room were one of the reasons., possibly with some substance abuse. You are telling us the problems but just hope you know WHY.

If anxiety is an issue, that falls under the Office for Disabilities with a documented diagnosis and a single room IS possible. As are extensions on papers, reduced course load, help with time management etc.

DC could look into a retroactive withdrawal from the semester. It is not always possible but that does clean the slate. You sometimes have to pay back financial aid even when you didn’t pay a cent for school. That would mean a medical leave if that can be justified.

One of our kids took a semester off when a sibling had a life-threatening illness. I don’t know how serious the situation is in your household but for a kid who already has problems with distractibility, the sibling health issue might have a real impact.

If financial aid is not yet in peril, I would think long and hard about further risking it. Once you lose it, you can’t get it at other schools either. There are ways to earn it back if you are on a probationary status of course but you want to be absolutely sure of success. One way to do that is to take one or two classes at a time at community college (or if DC’s school has continuing ed), build a record of success, good habits, proper evaluation and then return.

You may be on the brink of a mistake. It is hard for us to tell but some of us have had these situations and some of us have been on this forum for a long time, and I agree with blossom that the plan or contract or whatever may not lead to the outcome you are hoping for without more extensive changes.

ps Wealthy students also go on probation and get dismissed…yes financial aid is not an issue for them…but continuing is.

One simple fix I haven’t seen mentioned. Not the whole solution, but it was my solution.

Dorm room is for sleeping.

Library is for studying. No distractions.
If library is closed, empty classrooms are for studying.

I don’t agree. Many students so most of their work in the dorm room.

And in this case, sleeping was also affected.

A single room would be a good thing to pursue.

Thank you @compmom. Yes DC has been evaluated for ADHD. DC’s only diagnosis is anxiety. He will be getting accommodations moving forward (extra time or tests, weekly therapy).

DC’s has a therapy appointment next week. I don’t think a medical leave is justified, but it’s worth exploring.

DC also had another convo with advisor this morning. Said many nice things which made it even harder for DC. DC is calling the business office and the dean on Wednesday to ask questions/get answers. Of course, DC’s return is dependent on these conversations.

We’ll be going over what will happen and what is in jeopardy if DC doesn’t make the changes needed. Staying home a semester or two is not off the table, so we shall see.

@ClassicRockerDad and @compmom, DC and advisor made a plan for studying outside the room if unable to switch. Sleep has definitely an issue.

I didn’t mean to sound so flippant regarding the roommates. They will get probation if their GPA falls short and would be eventually dismissed like anyone else if they refuse to get it together. My point was poor grades for them does not put a financial barrier on attendance as it does for my DC.

I have read many a plea here at the end of the year from people who did poorly the first semester (where you are usually put on probation) and then do the exact same things and do poorly the second semester and are academically dismissed.

  1. It is good that you know her grades. That means she didn't hide them from you or allowed you access to her grades.
  2. She really needs to understand what went wrong.
  3. She really needs to understand support systems at school that she could have used: e.g., talking to RAs, talking to Dean of Students, withdrawing from a class, getting a tutor, going to office hours.
  4. Has she been medically diagnosed with anxiety? Is a retroactive medical withdrawal a possibility?
  5. Should she delay going back?
  6. What classes is she taking next year? Make sure she sets herself up for success?
  7. is she changing roommates?
  8. Is the anxiety under doctor supervision? Because anxiety can make you not want to talk to the RA, not talk to professors, not go to the tutoring center.
  9. As always, here are my tips: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1920853-college-is-a-step-up-from-hs-16-tips-on-doing-well-in-college.html

That 1.4 GPA is going to be a problem going forward. I would at least investigate the medical withdrawal if it could eliminate those grades.