<p>I feel that I had not prepared writing at all before I took the test, and I really regret that decision. May you guys please help by grading my essay that I received from student answer service? You guys don't have to be expert writers to critique it; I know I didn't do that well.</p>
<p>MY FINAL SCORE: 8 (4+4)</p>
<p>Prompt: Are people likely to be dissatisfied rather than content once they have achieved their goals? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>Essay:</p>
<p>Goals are the driving factors that stimulate human determination and effort. Accomplishment of goals lead to initial contentment; however, it also creates further goals, leading people to lose the satisfaction they once had. This effect is exemplified in Pearl S. Buck's novel "The Good Earth" and the Axis powers' rise in World War I.</p>
<p>In "The Good Earth," Chinese peasant Wang Lung spent years preparing himself to find his first wife. He finally bought a homely and dull slave O-Lan as a wise. Initially, Wang Lung thought his life was complete; O-Lan bore him a son, took care of his family, and helped reap the harvests; everything was proceeding successfully. However, after living years with O-Lan, Wang Lung's passion for her grew insipid. He knew that he now had the ability to find a more attractive woman, and he did so. Wang Lung's loss of lust for his first wife displayed how an achievement's satisfaction can wear off after living with initial contentment. </p>
<p>The main Axis power in World War II, Germany, suffered from tremendous lust for power and dominance. Fascist Germany invaded European nations one by one, and even promised to stop doing so after Britain and France tried to appease Germany by yielding Czechoslovakia to Germany. But Germany could not suppress its unspeakable drive for power; its invasion of Poland in September 1989 officially started World War II. Initially, fascist leader Adolf Hitler just wanted "living space" for the superior Germanic people. However, after reaching that goal without much resistance, he grew more ravenous for more control, losing the initial satisfaction he had.</p>
<p>Goals usually provide contentment and joy for their achievers; however, very rarely is that satisfaction permanent. Evanescence of the satisfaction leads to the creation of even broader goals, an effect that produces only a lust for more that counteracts the contentment. </p>
<p>My own critiques: (feel free to confirm them)
-Lack of synonyms for contentment and satisfaction
-Some sentences are wordy and awkward
-Bit short from lack of practice and time management </p>
<p>May you guys please help by giving YOUR OWN score and especially critiques? Thank you!</p>
<p>Note: I underlined my book titles. I just used quotations in this thread.</p>