HELP: Disciplinary Action with Excellent Grades and Scores

Parent Cafe
1

Our son has excellent academic record with a GPA of 3.99 (weighted 4.85), SAT: 1520, PSAT: 1470, ACT: 32, National Merit Commended School, 16 AP courses with all As or A-s High School Athlete. He is bright, smart, active and a social magnet in his class. Helpful and friendly always.

He is looking to apply under graduate business school at some of the top schools for the Fall 2017 admissions session - Northwestern, Indiana, UCB, NYU Stearn, Dartmouth, Georgetown, UCLA, UMich, UNC Chapel Hill, Boston College.

We believed that he has been on the target for some of the above schools, until he took disciplinary action from his school for something very significant. He was caught with a ‘substance’ in his possession. He has been and still is a very normal kid with no known aberration otherwise & this is a one-off incident in which he went astray without our knowledge. (I understand that, to some, this sounds like a typical parent coverup, but such is not the case here). The school decided to take a very harsh view of this and decided to expel him, without any consideration. We have, of our own, withdrew from the school (without facing expulsion) and now joined a different local public school.

Long story short - what are his chances of applying to any of the schools of his choice? Given that he has no history, nor known use of ‘substances’, how can we get a favorable view from colleges? He is already suffering from considerable anguish, our goal is to ignore the self-inflicted wound and move ahead.

If anyone (college counselors welcome) has experience dealing with a case like this, I would like to hear. In summary, he would have 3 huge disadvantages coming through this: i) A school disciplinary record with a suspension for 2 days ii) a difficulty in getting quality recommendations that he could have otherwise got at his old school (which is unlikely now) iii) A possible criminal case pending against, which is being dealt by a defense attorney.

Thanks in advance.

2

Honestly – he needs to apply to more safeties than he normally would, to make sure he has choices in the spring. Top schools will be a challenge, and it is difficult to counter being expelled and criminal charges. He can still apply to a few. Writing a truly repentant letter to the top schools with his applications might help (more repentant than your post by a lot) – but I would not count on it. Identify more safeties.

3

Maybe @Hanna has some advice.

4

What kind of substance? Was he selling? I would have a lot more questions before trying to advise you.

FInancial aid will be affected by a criminal case. Was he arrested? Did the school call the police on him?

This sounds like a private school. It is surprising they handled things this way, which makes me thing there is more to the story than, say, a joint found in his locker.

Are you absolutely sure that this was a one-time, atypical thing?

This may or may not be life-changing.

Personally, I would have tried to work with the original school if at all possible. Your son could still try to meet with potential recommenders there, if he can prove he is working hard to stay on a good path and is sorry.

Since he is a senior, I think the colleges will need to know what happened. Again, it depends on what the actual circumstances were as to what impact it will have.

One option would be to take a gap year, do something worthwhile and stay out of trouble. He has already proven his academic abilities so doing something that proves his character would be the way to go. Something that serves the community, whether local, national or international.

Then apply with the offense appearing in a broader context, with time elapsed and proven record of service and integrity.

Believe it or not, disasters can be opportunities and it is possible your son will be a better person for this.

5

I agree on the gap year approach…

6

Hi compmom - I will try to answer some specifics.

He is not into anything big, like a joint, a group nor selling. As we know him, he exhibited no signs of using drugs either in the past or in the present. His academic and athletic performance has remained steadily high through out. Behaviorally, he is fine too.

He has taken (did not consume) one Vicodin (prescription) pill from a ‘friend’ in the same school and kept it in his wallet. Somehow the school principal got a whiff of this right after, called him to office & had him empty this one pill from his pocket. He had nothing else on him - either in wallet, pockets, locker or school bag. The principal has immediately reported him to the police. He was arrested, photographed, fingerprinted and released. Charges not filed yet, but will be. We are working with a defense lawyer. The school has written up a discipline report on him and wanted to proceed with expulsion proceeding, where little representation, if any is offered to the student. So, we have technically withdrawn from the school, without having to face expulsion.

The school is a charter school run with a federal charter, derives both federal and state funding and is run as a incorporated corporation. You could say, it is run like a private school, despite sustaining on government grants.

[A lot on the school’s conduct in the matter is challenge-able and irresponsible, but that is besides the point & will not help anyway at this stage. We did not know what hit us like a lightning bolt from nowhere in a span of a half an hour].

7

Expulsion, plus criminal charges do paint a bleak picture. An expulsion in senior year is not decided upon lightly. A college wants a student who will succeed academically, and also be a positive force in the community, a good match for the institution that is a reflection of their philosophy or mission. Is he involved in counseling? Does he have any EC’s that show volunteerism. Are any previous counselors or teachers willing to vouch for him or showed up at the disciplinary hearing? Did he express remorse or mention seeking counseling at the hearing that he could point to in a letter of explanation in the applications? A gap year along with the suggestions of @compmom post may be the best action.

8

I don’t have any real advice for you on the college front. Frankly, I think your focus should be on your son’s health and well-being. He sounds like a great kid with a lot going for him. Please don’t ignore the reality of this situation. Being caught with Vicodin is not the same as being caught with pot or a can of beer. This is an opiate, a highly addictive drug. Students (including high-achieving students like your son) are dying from opioids all over this country. Did his friend give this pill to him or did your son take it from him without his knowledge? Either he was planning to use it himself (which should make you strongly question whether this was his first time and he was just that unlucky, or perhaps lucky, that he didn’t have the opportunity to take it) or he was planning to sell it (which is also very disturbing).

A lot of parents don’t know that their children are users, or even addicts, until they get the call that they have over-dosed. Please don’t ignore this opportunity to really get to the bottom of why your son had this pill in his possession. Trying opioids is not like experimenting with alcohol or marijuana. Heroin users describe their first use often as the best they have ever felt. It’s a siren call that quickly can lead to physical dependency as well. This is probably why your son’s school has taken this so seriously. If they think he was dealing opiates, they want to protect other students from life threatening addiction.

9

Thank you for all your inputs.

pittsburghsubscribe - I agree with everything you said. An addiction is a far more serious thing to solve than college admissions. Again, not having any visibility into what goes on in the school and having to rely on what our boy tells us, this all we know. From what we can observe, he is very normal in every other respect. After leaving school, there are one too many rumors floating there about him, that we definitely know are not true. So, it is difficult to know the whole truth. We have him in full watch after the incident. Everything normal now.

Yes. We are trying to get counseling & he is fully cooperative.

ECmotherx2 - On the ECs front, he has good voluntary record in local hospitals, couple of charity drives, including an international charity event he organized himself. He is a school athlete & a very valued one at it (I wont mention specifics for losing confidentiality). We avoided the discipline hearing for fear of expulsion & instead withdrew before one could be scheduled. Yes, there are some teachers who will support him in his old school.

10

“Again, not having any visibility into what goes on in the school and having to rely on what our boy tells us, this all we know.”

Correction on my statement above:

Not having any visibility into what goes on in the school and having to rely on what our boy tells and what the school claims, this is all what we know.

11

Wow.
This is a situation requiring immediate triage. (I leave the perils of drug abuse and all that to other posters.)

Expulsion? What’s the 2-day suspension? (Something in the interim, before you withdrew him?) It’s too early to know if he truly will be criminally charged.

First thing, adcoms know some hs have one-strike rules and that a range of actions can lead to severe discipline. They also know kids can do some pretty dumb things. And that some learn from those, verrry quickly.

IMO, you do need to line up former teachers willing to write a good LoR. You need to determine whether the GC is willing to write a satisfactory LoR, confirming his strengths, etc.

Does this hs disclose disciplinary records? Many do not. If they do, he will need to admit it on the CA and offer a written response, satisfactorily contrite (and done with wisdom and maturity.)

Make sure he allies with the new GC, gets to know him/her and can get a good report from that one.

He would benefit from a character reference who can attest to his general sense, the good he does, his usual judgment skills and the like. And the maturity. (This part is more delicate, but for now, a suggestion.)

Go ahead and apply to his targets. Do have more safeties than you originally planned.

And, do stand back and, with a critical eye, see if there is anything else you may have missed, as a parent (we all do,) that might cause concern, merit some changes or that gap year. Best wishes.

12

Make sure the attorney knows the consequences of having a drug charge on his record, no matter how minor, on college financial aid. When filling out the FAFSA, you have to certify that you have not been convicted of possessing or selling any drugs. Your family may not need financial aid, but the FAFSA is required for some merit scholarships too.

An attorney who doesn’t have college aged kids may not be aware of this requirement. In some states, a minor possession charge might be just that, minor, but because of FAFSA, it can be a bigger deal to the individual student. There is no place to explain that it was just one pill.

13

I think this really depends on whether your son was curious and wanted to try one pill, or maybe even was suffering a sports injury (doubtful) or whether he has been taking things for awhile.

Many kids do stupid impulsive things including trying a drug out once. I will get disagreement on this but in my experience, this is not all that uncommon. Their brains are under construction- and boys are generally behind girls on this.

The consequences seem unusually severe in this case, no doubt because of the type of school it is, and how it is funded. No doubt a zero tolerance context. (In our school a wonderful student from a wonderful family was caught with multiple types of drugs in her purse. She still went to college the next year.)

With this new information, I think he might consider going ahead with his plans to apply to colleges, and keep his list plus maybe a safety or two. I think that one pill plus a zero tolerance policy should not detour a life path, but that’s me. I think he should try to visit colleges and make an appointment with an admissions officer to talk about what happened.

I still think that fleeing may have been a mistake. It would be helpful to negotiate with the old school so that he has recommendations.

Keep an eye on him because this situation might actually propel him into drug use, a self-fulfilling prophecy. This quick fall from golden boy to perceived criminal would devastate anyone and his identity is being formed right now. I really feel for him. It is hard for me to believe what has happened to him so I can only imagine the shock you must all be in.

Let him know you love and support him no matter what!

14

@twoinanddone I believe the FAFSA issue only comes up if you were convicted of a drug related offense while receiving federal aid.

15

^^ that might be a follow up question. I just answered this yesterday, and I’m pretty sure the question was: have you ever received federal financial aid? and then when I answered yes it asked If the student had ever been convicted of drug possession or sales. Since I answered no, it then moved on. Perhaps if I’d answered ‘yes’ to question 2 it then would have asked for the dates of federal aid and the conviction.

16

This explanation is useful: https://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default/files/ondcp/recovery/fafsa.pdf

17

https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/eligibility/criminal-convictions
Describes some conditions.

18

I have a niece who’s a recovering addict. I’m not an expert, but I’ve learned a lot over the years. Where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire. The chances that the first drug your child tries will be a prescription opiate instead of a puff on a joint are probably pretty small. The chance that he would get caught that one time must be smaller still.

In my opinion, pills are bigger than joints because they seem to be a gateway to more serious drugs. And you can’t always tell whether or not a student is using by judging their behavior and grades. My niece is super smart, so although she started doing drugs in high school nobody knew for a long time because she was smart enough to say and do the right things and her grades were good.

Pursuing counseling is a good idea. You might also want to consider a gap year so the court case is fully resolved before he starts his applications.

19

I agree that pills are worse than joints. However, again, I do think it is possible for a kid to impulsively decide to try something, one time. Not sure how the school found out. Lots to this story.

The question is why did your son want to try a pill? Is he a risk taker? Bored with school? In pain? Stressed? The one pill is less significant than why.

I would not jump to the conclusion that your son has a drug problem, but remain open to the possibility, especially under these harsh circumstances.

I still wonder if the lawyer could have negotiated with the original school. I understand zero tolerance policies though, and with state and federal funding the school may have had no choice. Still, there must be some good will toward your son somewhere on the faculty or administration.

Colleges will also understand this scenario if explained adequately, preferably in person. Some colleges may prefer a proven clean record and some sort of accomplishment or proof of stability for a year before coming. I think your son should talk to them honestly.

By the way, recovering addicts are covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act and can register with the disability office at schools and receive certain accommodations. Not saying that is relevant, not at all, not with one pill in pocket that hadn’t been taken yet.

20

If you can afford it and he is a serious candidate for a top school, I would suggest hiring a college counselor that specializes in challenging cases. I would not assume all is lost, but this may well change his path in college. If he ends up at a school that he may not have otherwise, remember that he might not have gotten into tippy top school even without this situation. I would think that a school that is more holistic would consider a kid with only one strike.

Hopefully, the defense attorney can get him out of the criminal charge. That should be the main concern.

I am so very sorry this is happening for you. Kids make dumb decisions, but certainly sounds like the school has a very strict policy.