Help edit appeal for UC Davis?

<p>I am appealing to UC Davis, and I was wondering if anyone would like to edit my appeal?
I didn't want to post it on here due to possible plagarism and such, but I will email or message it to you.
It's only 350 words (that's the limit).</p>

<p>Please just check for grammatical errors or anything I need to rephrase. Be harsh. </p>

<p>None of the information I put in this essay is from my original application - all new information. If you're wondering why i didn't put this in my essay before, it's because of personal reasons. I didn't want my hindrances to be an excuse for why I am not the best I could be. I wanted to be able to get in to UCD based on being who I am now and not who I was in the past. But, seeing now that I wasn't accepted, I am somewhat desperate.
Thank you</p>