I am a glutton for punishment - or unnecessary worry anyway, but I can’t help it. Just got our first daughter through the college admissions process successfully, so now I am worrying about the second who will be a junior in HS next year. DD23 is a very good student with all A’s so far in high school. She is ranked about 12/420 (may be higher tho) in her class at her public high school. She is taking challenging, but not extremely rigorous classes but doing very well in them. This year she took Honors Algebra II, Honors Chem, Honors English, Honors World History and AP Environmental Science (and PE and Driver’s Ed). Her only A+ was in AP Environmental Science, she really did well in that class with like a 105%. Next year she will be taking AP Stats and AP Biology, Honors English, US History, Pre-Calc, and Psychology. She is a kid who has to work hard for her grades and she is very proud of them - she studies an average of about 5 hours/night sometimes up to 7 and does work on weekends too. She is very well organized and self motivated. Her non AP classes next year are not Honors courses (except for English) because her school phases them out in 11th grade and kids only have the option of regular or AP for most classes the last two years. She has never been a reader and does not read for enjoyment and I think this has been a disadvantage to her. I think her reading skills are probably at grade level or maybe one grade higher (her sister was reading at college level in 6th grade). But she retains information very well and has an amazing ability to grasp advanced concepts and remember them. She plays one varsity sport and has been a starter for two years but getting her schoolwork done during the season is very stressful - her practices were 3 hrs/day this year during the season. Anyway, I am extremely proud of her for her accomplishments - she was adopted at 9 months old from a foreign country and we were her 5th home at that young age. She was pretty traumatized for a few years but is now making great grades and has great friends, is emotionally healthy, and really, again, I’m amazed at how well she’s done.
She got her 10th grade PSAT score and it was 1160. Or about 83rd percentile. With colleges being so competitive, even the public schools in our state, I worry if she will have a hard time getting accepted to a good school. And by good - I mean state flagship. She has no really amazing EC’s and she doesn’t seem interested in doing anything other than her sport and NHS. She has no desire to help others so I can’t come up with any other EC ideas for her - I have to admit she is sort of self centered. Her passion is obsessing over some teeny bopper pop star - I mean seriously, that is what she is most enthusiastic about, lol! I can see her writing her Common App essay about how he has changed her life! Maybe she could start a fan club blog for him? Hmmmm…
I am just wondering if anyone has any suggestions to help her get into a decent school and help her improve her test grades which I know is going to be a problem because she just is NOT a good reader/writer and she isn’t going to do well on fast paced SAT/ACT tests. Her reading/writing is improving year by year, but how much can it realistically improve in one year when she’ll be starting the app process? I plan to have her read a lot this summer. Other than that, I’m at a loss.
Am I worrying over nothing? I mean she’s in the top 2.8% of her class, will that compensate for low test scores and few EC’s?
@thumper1 Well, I’m glad I posted because that’s what I wanted to hear. I seriously doubt she will be anywhere in the NM range though - I have no illusions about that. Her reading ability is my main concern and how that will affect her testing. And if colleges will judge her for poor testing in spite of good grades. But great to know that you think she’ll be fine.
It sounds like she is on track to get into colleges where she will be happy, probably with some merit aid, given her grades. Obviously she will want to consider test-optional schools. Given the effort she needs to put out to maintain her grades, she probably wouldn’t want a super-competitive college environment in any case.
And she doesn’t need to attend your state flagship. That’s nice, but the world is filled with successful individuals who attended a less-prestigious in-state public campus – often choosing the secondary campus even though they were accepted to the flagship. Sometimes other campuses are better options for undergraduate education.
Also, please don’t assume your teenager behaving like a teenager is some sort of permanent condition. You wrote, “She has no desire to help others so I can’t come up with any other EC ideas for her - I have to admit she is sort of self centered. Her passion is obsessing over some teeny bopper pop star”. She’s a (probably) 15 year old kid behaving like (horrors) a 15 year old. Let her figure things out for herself and grow up in her own time. It’s not your job to pick out EC’s for her – just to provide reasonable emotional and financial support for the things she chooses to do on her own.
She sounds great to me. She is getting A’s in honors English, so that’s a good sign. I think you need to focus on finding a school that is a comfortable fit for her. With her drive, she can be successful at a lot of schools, the flagship may or may not be the best. Is doing some service outside of school a possibility, maybe as a family activity? Sounds like that would be a good experience and help her application.
I have a voracious reader and an “against my will” reader. Both wound up at the right school for them. The “against my will” reader went largely test optional, as he was also not adept enough at timed testing to have scores that aligned with the rest of his academic profile (which was very successful in most rigorous curriculum). So, if her scores do not rise over the next year+ to match up more with her classroom performance, there are many wonderful (as in Bowdoin, Bates, etc.) test optional schools.
I can’t think of anything more useful than reading for vocabulary development, reading speed, comprehension and even writing. You need not start with Silas Marner. Provide an example of reading. My. Mother was pleased when we asked what she was reading and even handed us the soup can. Make sure she understands the importance of math in everydAy life, like cooking, measuring, maintaining the car, saving for shoes… Math is like air in that you don’t notice it but it surrounds us. Is there a book or magazines you could get her to read more about the latest idol. I think even the beaver boy has written a biography. Reading does promote reading and content improves as skills mature.
Thanks @calmom and @NYmommabear This is really helpful. And yes I know she’s acting like a 15 year old, and I I actually adore it considering the way she acted when she was younger (lots of tantrums and need for control). But she is totally obsessed with this guy - we make fun of her and it doesn’t faze her - she is 100% devoted, lol. She has about 10 versions of every song he’s ever recorded on her phone. So that part was just a little color commentary
I know that kids are supposed to pick ECs for their kids - they are supposed to follow their passions, but she doesn’t have anything but her sport and her teenybopper (and her academics) as her passions! I was just trying to figure out something else that she might be interested in and was at a loss. We used to do some outdoor service projects as a family when our kids were younger (those won’t count though) - but life got busy keeping up with their school activities and sports (both played school and travel club sports almost year round). She does enjoy watching birds at the feeder outside while she does her homework - maybe she would enjoy participating in bird counts - we did that a couple of years when they were younger also. Her interest is definitely science so that would fit. But I won’t suggest it to her - I’ll just whisper it in her ear when she’s asleep, so she’ll think she came up with the idea .
@LeastComplicated I know you’re worried because you’re a mom (and on CC), but your D sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders, the ability to focus and work hard, and is exceptionally good at being 15. And what wonderful traits for any teenager, especially one with her rough start in life.
As much as you can, try to love the kid on the couch and her college search will surely take care of itself.
That being said, if the birdcounting thing doesn’t take flight (pun intended), could she maybe volunteer to teach her sport to some underprivileged kids, or give lessons to younger kids on the sports skills she’s good at? Either the volunteering or the coaching/skills business would be great ECs and something interesting for her to write her application essays about. Or see if she and a friend might like to volunteer at a vacation Bible school or community event this summer.
Y’all sound like a great family. I really admire those with the love and energy to adopt. I wish you many blessings!
Your DD is not going to be competing for spots at Ivy League colleges, so she doesn’t need Ivy League quality EC’s.
Relax.
Wait.
Give your daughter room to surprise you.
Wait until you have junior year PSAT scores to worry about college targeting.
The single most important thing that that high school kids can do to get into a good college is to take an appropriate college prep high school course load, and to get good grades in those classes. Your DD is doing fine.
To the OP, a simple suggestion: Your daughter should prep for the SAT’s. She can do it as self-study with a commercial program, or whatever. My daughter had good SAT’s but not off the charts. She didn’t do any prep for these exams. For her, admission to art school depended far more on her portfolio, and she was in fact admitted to one of the tippy-top art schools. But then, some years after she had earned her BFA, she decided to make a career-course correction: to earn an MBA, and turn this degree plus her industrial design background into a redefined career path.
The hitch? To get into a top 10 MBA program she was doing to need very high GMAT scores. She hadn’t taken any math since high school (8 years earlier). She hadn’t taken standardized tests of any kind since then. So she enrolled in an online Princeton Review prep course. She spent many hours at it. She also took a math course at a local college as a refresher. This paid off big. She got 720 on the GMAT, scoring the same percentile on the math and verbal components. This score was a significantly higher percentile than the results of her SAT. Study and prep matters! She got into a top 10 MBA program, and her career got a real boost as well.
@zannah thank for the comment. I do provide a good example of reading - I read ALL the time. And I read to them about a million books in their childhood. I probably should have kept reading to her after she could read for herself, but hindsight is 20/20 ya know. She was required to read several books in English this year and liked all of them but just won’t take the initiative on her own. As for magazines - she bought FIVE copies of a magazine that had teenybopper on the cover with a feature story and read it thoroughly a few times - and she also bought two books from a lesser idol and read them, so you’re onto something there. She’s pretty darn good at math I don’t have much worries there. I think she will probably do OK in AP Calc as a senior if she doesn’t overload herself. But I am so glad for your comment because you mentioned cooking! She is a brilliant cook! She really enjoys it and does it well - even bakes from scratch! So there’s an interest and passion I totally forgot about. Maybe she can enter some recipe contests!
You should encourage her to do some test prep – either take a class, buy a practice book etc. And if the standardized tests don’t improve (and I suspect will) there are a lot of great test optional schools out there to consider. https://www.fairtest.org/university/optional/state
In all honesty, I’d take the summer off from college searching, decompress after D1, and move forward with D2’s search in the fall.
She doesn’t need to enter any contests. No college is going to care if she does, and if she wants to write about her love of cooking in a college essay, they’ll take her word for it.
Please, again, let her enjoy what she enjoys. There is time for her to grow and explore. It won’t hurt for her to do some test prep… but she’ll be fine in the long run even if she doesn’t.
Thanks everyone - you all are great! Some great comments and suggestions. Relax, stop worrying, have her read more, prep for the tests - I think that’s doable.
And @happy1 There’s no way I’m actually actively college searching yet. I am so burnt out from D1’s process (which ended well but was exhausting and stressful). I’m just trying to be proactive and try to correct some deficiencies so that she will get some good results when the time comes. Because I left out one important part of her personality. She is very competitive. Her sister got into a good school - one of the seven sisters - and I know she is going to try to make comparisons when it’s her turn. Probably one of the reasons I’m worried. But they are so different - and in a good way I think. D1 is quick thinking, reads well, writes well, tests well, is outgoing, sings, draws, plays sports, does volunteer work and made good grades (but not straight A’s). But she has a very short attention span and is lacking in motivation (in things she’s not interested in) - she gets by on her natural intelligence and her personality. D2 is the opposite, slow, deliberate, dedicated, shy, hard working, but not naturally talented in many things like her sister. Even so, I think she is going to go into the college application process in a more mature way than D1 - who had to be nagged practically all year! Believe me, we’re all ready for a relaxing summer after last year. So we’ll be lounging about for a few weeks, reading People magazine, listening to Shawn Men… - I mean her idol…
@GnocchiB Great ideas! And thank you for the blessings! But we don’t deserve any admiration. Our girls are awesome and we are the lucky ones to have the chance to be their parents. They have made our lives so rich (in spite of all the nagging I had to do) - I really don’t want to let them go!
P.S. I now know that I was using the word “teenybopper” incorrectly. I googled it to make sure it meant what I thought it did and I was wrong. I thought that HE was the teenybopper, apparently that’s D2. Guess I need to do vocab building along with her!
@Calmom OK, I’ll let her be her - but really, I think she would take the recipe contest thing and run with it! She is super competitive and I think she’d totally enjoy trying to come up with some new culinary concoction! But OK, OK, I won’t mention it!
I think it sounds like her life is stressful with up to 7 hours of work at night (on top of practice).
I think it is good to read about test strategy but I wouldn’t push extensive test prep or repeated efforts to get higher scores. Here is a list of schools that are test optional or deemphasize testing, which includes some tippy top schools: http://fairtest.org/university/optional Please consider suggesting that she apply to a school that does not require testing like SAT or ACT. And read the entire list yourself. You will be surprised.
I wonder if she has some issue with reading that is not diagnosed. Where was she in those first 9 months, and how was her birth? Is there any reason to think there is a learning challenge that could be addressed, if only to shorten those hours of homework?
I also would not push summer reading. Many kids these days ARE reading they are just not reading books. Don’t get me wrong, reading is wonderful, but it should be enjoyed. Maybe spending one on one time with her, talking, would do the same thing in terms of language building.
I think the recipe contest idea is a great one. I would try to run with anything at all that she shows an interest in, not for college admission per se, but for her development as a person. Staying in her room doing homework for that many hours may be counterproductive in terms of developing other interests. Perhaps she should think about reducing the rigor of her course load.
You don’t have to follow any advice offered here and don’t have to avoid mentioning something that you think is a good idea.
OP, my daughter did about the same as yours in the 10th grade PSAT. I encouraged her to prep for the 11th grade PSAT, got her books, etc., but she prepped very little. Her score went up about 100 points.
When she got that score back, I think it hit home. Over winter break, she really prepped. Worked about an hour a day. She took the test in March and got over 1400. Prep really helps. It’s far from being too late.
