<p>First and foremost, if you are like many CCs you have been comparing and contrasting schools for the last 12-24 months. I wouldn’t expect it to be easy to turn off the comparisons the second a deposit has been put down.</p>
<p>Second, take the time to enjoy the end of high school. Yes, everyone from teachers to Grandma are asking about future plans, but do not get caught up in wishing the next few weeks and months away. </p>
<p>Third, come move in day you will be thrilled to enter this next phase of life no matter what college.</p>
<p>And lastly, your post shows maturity and that you know these feelings are silly. Silly or not, they are who you feel. Acknowledge the feelings and then let it go.</p>
<p>The secret to happiness is learning to feel grateful for the cards life deals you, and learning to be content with yourself and your decisions. OP, I’m almost half a century old and still struggle with this! It’s very frustrating because feelings like buyer’s remorse ARE often pretty silly. But I know you’ll be fine because you can acknowledge what you’re thinking and feeling and are striving to work through it to acceptance and contentment. Hugs!</p>
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<p>I believe you have found the ultimate example, Schmaltz! I love it!</p>
<p>You will be happy when you get to college and meet all your college friends. Don’t worry about where others are going. Concentrate on doing well in college. You never know, you might come out with a 4.0 from your college while your friend might not do so well after all at ‘your first choice’ college. Eventually you might go on to law school or med school or Ph.D program and she might not. Look beyond the next few months or even next few years. In the long run it will not matter where you went to college but what you did when you got there.</p>
<p>My son chose to go to a med program at a ‘less prestigious’ university over an ivy league university. On the last day of high school when everyone wore name brand college shirts he was a little sad that he gave up his chance at an ivy league university. But after two years he is very happy with his decision. He is doing very well in college and fully enjoys the social life with all his great friends.</p>
<p>hang in there! I think everyone feels the same way. My dtr will be applying to colleges in the fall and she probably won’t be accepted to the same school her brother attends now. People are always comparing her to him (including teachers) and it’s very difficult for her. We’ve tried to encourage her to be her own person and tel her that God gave her gifts that He did not give her brother or anyone else. She’s unique! </p>
<p>It’s tough, I know</p>
<p>Lots of good advice above. What I will add is that while it is great to acknowledge that you feel this way, I would encourage you to work really really hard to come to love the opportunity that is coming your way. The courses you take, the people you meet, and the activities you participate in will be much more important to your life than whether you went to the other schools that are making you envious.</p>
<p>I had quite a bit of the feeling that you describe as I went off to college. Even though the place I was at was a great place, in the end it was not the best place for me. I made it through, but if I had been a better able to know myself at the time, I would have been somewhere else which was a better fit. For a long time I thought that I would have been happier at another school where one of my close friends from HS had gone. With the aid of maturity and hindsight, I can say that I most likely would not have been much happier at that place:it was not a fit either.</p>
<p>In the end, it really is about a good fit, not prestige. I was very lucky because when I went to grad school, it was a great fit for me. I hope that you have found a good fit, and that it agrees with you. That will be more important than anything else.</p>
<p>Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>Thank you so much, everyone, for your advice. I can’t thank you all enough for taking the time to post here. Really, every post helps a lot…I feel much better already :)</p>
<p>It’s sort of like a “battle of the thoughts” in my mind as of late. On one side, my thoughts are essentially very negative. (“Why did she get in and I didn’t? I’m smarter…”, “I could’ve succeeded there and done so well”, “I would’ve been so proud to say that I got in, but I didn’t”). I recognize how utterly ridiculous these thoughts are. I know so many people that I respect who don’t go or didn’t go to “name brand” or well known schools. On the other side of my thoughts, I keep telling myself the positive things about where I’m going next year. But no matter what, it’s conflicting. I’m seeing a therapist right now to help me deal with other issues, and she told me that I tend to focus on the negatives, which brings me down and closes me off to the wonderful parts of life–like college. </p>
<p>It certainly doesn’t help that many of my class mates think that name is the most important feature of a college. </p>
<p>It’s so funny because if someone were in the same predicament as me, I would offer the same advice all of you have. When it comes to me, however, I’m very harsh on myself. :P</p>
<p>I wonder if people here see how we at CC contribute to the problem OP is experiencing. This site is so obsessed with prestige and comparing schools in an unhealthy manner, that it is a miracle that the kids who come to this site don’t end up feeling inadequate when they don’t get into their first-choice schools. I would ask the OP to look at the “My-School-is Better-Than-Your-School” thread I created a few days ago on the Parent’s Forum. I have been saying for sometime that the worse thing we do here is make these kids feel pressured to get into prestigious schools and create feelings of inferiority and worthlessness when they don’t succeed. We need to examine what we are doing here and return to helping kids find schools that are a good fit for them. Let’s not transfer our neurotic anxieties and insecurities to these high school students.</p>
<p>parent57 is so right! I watched one of my extended family be told she was great, great, great and could go anywhere and do anything. Well, reality hit and it wasn’t pretty. Turns out there were not gobs of employers jumping up and down waiting to pay her oodles of money for being fabulous.</p>
<p>In this crazy world, being healthy, not in debt and having some sort of education and job is a pretty good landing. And, guess what? Any college bookstore will sell you a T shirt if you just gotta have a brand name on your chest.</p>
<p>I know others have given good advice but I wanted to add mine- just because you deserve all good thoughts since you sound like a such a good person.</p>
<p>Keep the focus on the positive thinking. HS and all of its peer pressures will soon be ancient history. You may or may not keep your HS friends when your paths diverge, but don’t worry, if they are core friends the relationship will remain, if not and you have outgrown each other you will have new friends who match your current self. Don’t try to keep track of their experiences to compare to yours next fall- enjoy yours to the fullest. When you see them over a break realize they probably won’t tell you any of the bad parts- they will need to preserve the aura of the school thought to be prestigious.</p>
<p>The car analogy was great. Years later when you go to a HS reunion you will find the kids you thought had it all may not have, then or in the present. We all know so little about other people’s inner thoughts/selves. Your friends may have their own inner turmoil about their school choice but are likely afraid to say anything/show insecurity.</p>
<p>It sounds like you have a good school to attend- the best fit for YOU. You can learn just as much as at a different school and may do so when not feeling insecure as the “under average” student. It could be the proverbial “blessing in diguise” that you ended up at the school you did.</p>
<p>Enjoy the spring and summer, then college.</p>
<p>I was wait listed by my first choice and rejected by my second. I loved my third and got accepted very quickly on rolling admissions, but when my FA statement came in it just wasn’t doable. The school I attend now (and LOVE) wasn’t even really on my radar at first, and I applied to keep my mom happy. It is in the “top 100” but I’ve found that i care less and less about rankings and the like every single day. I think CC gives people a distorted view- getting into college is something to be proud of, and graduating with a usable degree and skills that will take you through your future jobs is truly an accomplishment. </p>
<p>When it came down to decisions I visited my top 2 remaining schools and found out that I really, really liked everything at my current school- great campus, wonderful feeling when walking around, fabulous programs for my major, small classes, strong study abroad program… I literally could go on and on. </p>
<p>Is there a chance you won’t totally love your school? Well, realistically, yes. But there’s also a chance you will. Everyone worries if they will make friends, and you will. Many. For me it was very upsetting when I got my ED deferral and then RD waitlist from my top choice- All my scores were well within the ranges listed on collegeboard, I had great ECs, fabulous rec letters and I’d shown a lot of interest in the school (they listed ‘demonstrated interest’ as something they took into account when going over apps). And yet, I ended up with the ultimate indecision- sort of a ‘well, we kind of like you, but we kind of like these other people better’ message to me. And like someone above me said, not being at the bottom of the heap of students is really a blessing sometimes. When girls on my floor need help with something, I’m the one they come to. And this is actually great for me because the best way for me to study is to teach the material to someone 
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<p>Try to keep everything in perspective. That’s what I did, and I love where I am. Take some time this summer to just have fun with your friends- when you get to college there’s a lot of work awaiting you! Try not to talk about rankings with people, especially the friends you mentioned. A college is so much more than a number on USNWR.</p>
<p>Thank you so much everyone, again. It is especially comforting to read the stories of you all who got deferred or denied from your first choices, but ended up loving where you went. Like I said before, it’s quite refreshing compared to the people in my grade who complain consistently about not going to the college with the “best” reputation.</p>
<p>I was thinking about this today: Do we, as people, become more obsessed with things that are just out of our grasp? What we can’t have? As I posted before, I was/still am upset that I didn’t get into my first choice, but it seems like it goes beyond that for me. It’s like right now, I would do anything to just be a part of that school. Yes, there is always the option of transferring, which I’ve thought about before. But now that I’m 90% sure I’m going into a specific field, I’ve also discovered that specific program is INCREDIBLY difficult to get into at my first choice, compared to other programs there. I’ve found myself considering switching my major/career path just so I could transfer in and graduate from my first choice. I know. I am the dumbest person to ever exist. lol</p>
<p>I know it’s very possible that my major/possible career path could change during the course of college, but right now, I’m pretty set on it. So the fact that my inner, obsessive self is considering switching career paths just to have an easier time transferring into my first choice…it’s both pathetic and revolting to me. 
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<p>And I would like to add that yes, I think CC has a large population of “name brand” obsessed students/parents. It is understandable, I suppose; people only want the best for themselves and their children. But I wish people could realize that great education can be found virtually anywhere. Some of the most important people in the media, politics, scientific world did not go to well known colleges, and they’re doing absolutely fine. I think what added the most to my obsession with my first choice is the fact that my older sister went there, and loved it. It’s my state’s flagship school, and pretty prestigious (in North Carolina especially). I also really like the blend of academics and athletics. In case you’re wondering btw the first choice that I did not get into is UNC Chapel Hill. </p>
<p>But like I said, I am going to a very good school, even if it is my 2nd choice, with awesome programs and cool sounding people. I need to stop wishing away and be grateful for what I have.</p>
<p>Oh, D1 also considered applying to another program within her first choice and switching majors because it is so hard to get into her preferred major as a freshman. She didn’t go down that path, but she thought about it.</p>
<p>She just called today and said she thinks she is getting a job offer for after graduation from her internship this semester (junior this year, so offer would be for after graduation next year). The job is in EXACTLY the field she wanted to study at her first choice school (she is studying something related in her current college, but they did not offer the exact same major), and is with exactly the agency that would have been her first choice to work for coming out of college. So… there are a lot of paths to reach your goals, don’t get stuck on the one that didn’t happen. </p>
<p>Gotta say, your fixation reminds me of people who are all about certain brand names of clothing or cars or purses or makeup or whatever. It is not healthy, in any part of your life. The sooner you figure out that name is not everything (or in same cases, anything) in life, the happier you will be. Otherwise you spend your whole time chasing the most expensive/most cool sounding things… wasting your money and passion, IMHO. This college choice is a very good opportunity for you to put that shallow way of thinking aside and focus on what really matters. Believe me, a few years from now it will not matter what anyone else thought about where you got into college this year. What will matter is what you make out of the opportunity you have in front of you.</p>