Accepting a college my parents do not want me to attend.

<p>Hi everyone, I going through one of the biggest decisions in my life so far, heres what it comes down to, and I need people's thoughts, suggestions, and answers on how to do it.
I'm a senior in highschool who lives in California, who has less than 7 days to make a decision for college. Deadlines May 1st.
I have been accepted to the University of Arizona, UCR, and CSUN; waitlist at CSULB and Cal poly pomona.<br>
My parents have told me their input on the U of A (the school I want to go to) and it came down to them not letting me move out of state.. Leaving me options only for CSUN and UCR, the only schools that I did not want to go to.
There is this program with Arizona and California that makes me considered in state, which means I only have to pay the regular in state tuition, counting my scholarship I got.
I am planning on accepting the U of A's offer, disregarding what my parents say, I have more valid points because its the best school I got accepted to, and the best school for me, I also want to move out, dorm, and eventually grow up.
Now that that's over, how exactly would I do this? and will I still be getting financial aid? I know its a tough one, burning my bridges with my parents for now, but I know for a fact that they will understand and see, when I prove to them and get very high scores.
I just want to know how to do this with accepting, paying for college, (how do I put it on my name so whenever I graduate I will pay off the debt) also If i accept, I will be receiving financial aid, but will I still receive it?
Please help this is very important</p>

<p>What are the actual net prices of the schools after deducting grants and scholarships (not loans) from the list price?</p>

<p>If the program you are referring to is the Western University Exchange, it allows regional out-of-state students to get 1.5 times the in-state tuition at participating schools. University of Arizona offers the WUE rate only for the mining engineering major.</p>

<p>Realistically, unless you have a full ride merit scholarship, your parents have absolute veto power over where you go to college until you are 24 years old, married, or a military veteran. For example, they can force you to drop out by refusing to give information for financial aid purposes, resulting in you not getting financial aid and being able to afford to continue to attend.</p>

<p>It’s basically $20,000 with room and board, that is if i am considered in state,
Are you sure? I will have to look that up, I am a biology major. My counselor told me I am in state with the WICHE WUE program</p>

<p>I am receiving a $7,000 scholarship and I have been informed if i accept, I will be getting financial aid, which I do not know how much yet. So for now without financial aid, it will be 13k</p>

<p>[WICHE</a> - Student Exchange Programs](<a href=“http://wue.wiche.edu/profile.jsp?id=29]WICHE”>http://wue.wiche.edu/profile.jsp?id=29)
<a href=“https://financialaid.arizona.edu/undergraduate/estimated-cost-attendance[/url]”>https://financialaid.arizona.edu/undergraduate/estimated-cost-attendance&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>The WUE tuition rate at University of Arizona is $13,671, and is available only to mining engineering majors. University of Arizona’s financial aid budget assumes $14,694 additional costs for a total of $28,365 per year with the WUE tuition rate.</p>

<p>Without the WUE tuition rate, the non-resident cost is $40,924 per year.</p>

<p>If you can pay your own way then you can go your own way. If not, then you have to respect your parents and their checkbook. GL</p>

<p>Have you considered trying to get an ROTC or similar scholarship that would pay for your school (I believe there was at least one person at my school who had a scholarship that was the same idea but with a different government agency, if the army is not for you). </p>

<p>If there are a still rolling admissions schools, maybe you can apply to one where you can get good merit money? </p>

<p>If your parents are trying to control you with money (aka they won’t let you go out of state simply because they don’t want you to go, not because of financial concerns), I wouldn’t give them this power over you.</p>

<p>Yes u can attend Arizona without your parents’ financial support, but u just can’t do it on your prefered timeline. If it’s that important to u, then postpone matriculation until u can fund it yourself on your own dime via work earnings, military service, wait till u are 24, etc.</p>

<p>Until u can fund it w/o your parents, then I am afraid u will have to abide by the Golden Rule. No, not that rule about “doing onto others…” but the other Golden Rule:
“He whose got the gold makes the rules…”</p>

<p>Your guidance counselor is wrong. And there is no way that you can get enough loans on your own to go out of state.</p>

<p>Pick one of the local schools and make the most of it. Many students have to “make do” and survive. The important thing is to get an education. You can always move out of state after you graduate. It’s not all that you wanted, but it is what it is. My oldest had to settle when we could not afford her dream school out of state, but she did fine at the state school where she ended up (and, coincidentally, ended up marrying someone who did graduate from the dream school - always reminds me she would have met him sooner had she gone there). </p>

<p>One thing to focus on is that your parents are helping you to pay for an education somewhere - many high school grads are unable to get to college at all.</p>

<p>If your parents refuse to provide their financial information in the next years you will not be eligible for any financial aid. You will need them to at least provide that information.</p>

<p>Sit down with your parents, and discuss why they want you to stay in state. Listen to their reasoning, and ask them to then listen to yours. Ask them why they supported you applying the UA, and any other OOS schools, if they had no intention of letting you leave the state.</p>

<p>Their reasons for wanting you to stay instate may be reasonable, or maybe not, but you need to hear them out before you make such a decision. Ask them what they will do if you choose to attend UA or any other OOS school - will they simply not support you financially, or will they be obstructionist, and refuse to provide financial information in the future, making it difficult to get financial aid.</p>

<p>If you want to be treated like an adult, capable of making this decision, you need to act like one. Discuss the situation with them, and negotiate a plan that works for everyone. You need to sell them on UA, so you need to overcome their objections as any good salesman does.</p>

<p>While I applaud your passion, I can’t stress enough what a bad idea it would be to “burn bridges” with your parents. Honestly, as I see more and more back and forth about final decisions between kids and their parents in these last few days before the deposit deadline, I have to wonder why these discussions didn’t happen weeks/months ago?</p>

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<p>Well. enjoy it while it lasts. As others have noted, without your parents’ cooperation, you will not be getting financial again in the future.</p>

<p>No matter how independent you think you are, you will not be considered independent for financial aid purposes until you’re 24. (Or, you could have kids - that would speed things up!)</p>

<p>You cannot commit to U of AZ until you know what your final financial aid package would be. So pick up the phone, call them and ask why it is that you have not yet received it.</p>

<p>Meanwhile, sit down with your parents and run all of your numbers through this handy calculator: [FinAid</a> | Calculators | Award Letter Comparison Tool](<a href=“Your Guide for College Financial Aid - Finaid”>Award Letter Requirements - Finaid) That will help you see just exactly what the cost differences are.</p>

<p>You cannot borrow more than the federal loans without a co-signer. Those come to $5,500 freshman year, $6,500 sophomore year, $7,500 junior year, and $7,500 senior year. If your college/university also awards a Perkins loan, you would get a bit more. As an in-state student in CA, you might be eligible for certain state grants that will help cover your costs. Ask your guidance counselor about those.</p>

<p>Often when parents say "Oh you can’t go to X.in April after allowing their child to apply to X earlier in the process, what they really mean is “Golly, we had no idea that X would be so hideously expensive for us.” My guess is that is at least part of your parents’ situation.</p>

<p>Nareg, what did your parents say when you applied to U of A? Did they not know, or did they not protest until the decisions were due? What did they tell you at that time?</p>

<p>Does accepting a college other than what they want mean that they will be so enraged that they will disown you/not fill out any forms, or that they will just be unhappy? I can’t imagine being so angry with my kid that I would do something extreme. Do you think their problem is cost, and that you can stay at home so they don’t have to pay on campus costs, or are they afraid to let you leave?</p>

<p>You need to have a very calm, and honest talk with them. Is that possible?</p>

<p>You are correct that you only have a couple of days to make this decision. But, I cannot believe that you have no knowledge of the final net cost of these alternatives. Especially that you got this far without really knowing the cost of Arizona. I can guarantee that there is a financial aid award letter on your student website. You need to look at it closely to determine cost.</p>

<p>My guess is that your parents are advising you that they don’t want to pay the higher cost for out of state tuition, not necessarily that they won’t let you move out of state. Since your other two choices are Northridge and Riverside, you can live in the forms. They are pretty far apart geographically slsge o I’m assuming you are not going to try to commute.</p>

<p>I know that UC Riverside isn’t glamorous to those of us who live in So Cal, but it’s an excellent education.</p>

<p>Believe me, my daughter is in the same situation as you are. She did not get accepted to her dream school and she was left with choices she did not really love., although age did get into all her CSUs</p>

<p>She didn’t want to go to school close to home either. Luckily she just recently started liking and enrolling at a small private college north of LA.</p>

<p>Will you be living at home if you go to a California school? If so, the cost will be less than Arizona. Is this what your parents want? Is it possible that they can’t afford the room and board charges?</p>

<p>Why do people do this to their own kids?</p>

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<p>Do what?</p>

<p>It does seem like the OP is interpreting the parents’ reasons (“too far from home”) as being unreasonable ones, but is neglecting the likelihood that the desired school really is too expensive (whether or not the parents realize that).</p>