Help me come to terms with not pushing the "cheapest " option

Parent Cafe
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OP, if your D decides to drop her sport (it happens; there are CCers here whose kids had career-ending injuries and have told some harrowing stories), can you still afford the school without the athletic scholarship? My nephew was on an athletic scholarship and the amount varied every year, depending on whether they had new recruits or how much he was pitching. Was frustrating for my sister to budget around that.

Can you afford the bill if you or your spouse is unable to work? We had to borrow a portion of S2’s last two years after I had a medical crisis and was unable to work.

We had a family attitude of frugality as our kids were growing up, but we made it clear that there were things we didn’t do/buy so that they would be able to attend the college of their choice. They had the option of taking the financial aid and then we would be able to help with summer travel, a vehicle, grad school, etc. Both turned it down for the top choice UG school.

One of my sons had a full COA scholarship to our flagship (tuition, room, board, fees, books – would not have had to borrow a penny). He turned it down, with our blessing and a big sigh, but there are times… The school he attended gave him a partial scholarship, he got great internships and he took out Staffords. All told, he paid over $100k of his expenses. However, kids from that flagship with his skills got hired by his current employer just as easily as the college he actually attended. He’s successfully launched, doing well and is happy, so it’s all good with me.

My other S went to his top choice, also an excellent school, with our blessing and no scholarships, instead of the flagship with a partial scholarship. He had some FA while both guys were in college, then was full pay for two years plus an extra semester to scrape through. Is still trying to launch. OTOH, I think he would have been lost at the flagship and wouldn’t have made it through there.

Iwonderwhere, MathLab is a really sophisticated math software program with formulae, symbols, etc. Very handy tool, even if she is using it in a lab for classwork. (S2 had a lab fee for a Geographic Informations Systems class. It’s part of the deal.) S1 got MathLab at a summer math program while in HS and we found out later it retailed at the time for about $600. He used it throughout college. Loved it. $200 isn’t bad.

42

Baseball scholarships have different rules than other sports. They have minimums and don’t have to last 4 years. It would be hard to plan unless the coach gave a 3 year plan. Yes, 3 not 4. Baseball is different.

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You have to have a budget that works for you.

But with my DD, after scholarships she ended up with something like schools that cost

21K, 25K, 29K, 39K, 45K

She had no clear preference, and to me the top 2 were not worth double the cheapest.
But I told her she could pick any of the ones under 30K and she ended up picking the 29K, not the cheapest per year but she got much credit for her IB Diploma that she graduated 1.5 years early (with a couple summer classes).

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@CountingDown the Math Lab wasn’t a software program. It was the time spent with the grad student TA, reviewing material and problems

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OP, we have exactly the same situation and struggle, (including loving dd every day!) and she got waitlisted at her dream school. I am relieved for myself, but still rooting for her.

46

OP, because you are a great bargain shopper, you can afford this expensive school. So you were preparing all of your child’s life to go against your nature for her benefit! That is wonderful!!!

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I guess the blessing about swimming being a sport that does not pay much and is not fully funded at a lot of schools plus the team is a “reach” swim wise means that yes we will still be able to afford the school if she chooses to stop swimming or becomes injured and can’t swim any longer and no longer has a swim scholarship…

48

Nothing to add, but just letting you know we will be in same boat next year. My S got a full tuition scholarship when he went to college. I did a jig when he go that scholarship call. My 17yo D will be aiming higher and I believe less likely to get any merit from her top choices. Although she will have safeties that may offer merit and she would be happy to go to if she is not accepted at top choices. We will not get any FA. All my life I have “settled”, ie- buying cheaper, less attractive dress because it was cheaper not because it was my favorite, buying used cars, because, well they are cheaper and depreciate so much first year, etc. Because we have lived frugally, my kids have choices. Best of luck to your D.

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I’m also a bargain hunter, so I understand the feelings. However, if going away to school is affordable, then that should be the option. I never expected my kids to commute to a local school. Going away has many benefits.

I wouldn’t even be considering that local state school.

As for the most expensive choice…Sounds like it will all be paid for w/o loans. Even if a small student loans was needed, that still sounds like a fine choice since her heart is there.

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Frugality when buying for yourself is a great virtue.

Not being frugal when giving (or paying someone else’s tuition) is also a great virtue.

Feel good about both and everybody wins!

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It was made very clear to my S don’t apply to a school unless you will happy to attend that school so pick your safety schools very wisely and apply to schools that publish their merit awards. We did not even look at schools that did not meet the tuition criteria, merit publications and historically need based awards. My S was made well aware that the financial package for my S will dictate which school is moved to the top of the list and which school drops to the bottom. We established a $5000 buffer if one school he favors more than say the lesser option, he can choose to go with the higher option. My S is going into business school and plans to pursue a degree beyond his undergraduate and his sister will be attending college in his Senior year and its important to put things into perspective for the long haul.