<p>Hi I was denied without the wait list option from Santa cruz. My chosen major was business marketing, and I had a UC GPA of 3.65 and a 1780 on the SAT. My main reasons for appeal is my dad becoming unemployed, and a decline in my grandfathers health. Any advice will help.</p>
<p>In the past few months, my household went through some changes. My father who was the only employed family member is no longer working, which is affecting our families spending. Without my father working to pay for my college tuition, a lot of pressure was put on me to contribute more to my college fund. I recognized how important it was to maintain good grades while searching for employment, but unfortunately they were not as good as I would have liked. I know there are many kids who are in similar or worse situations financially, but it did take away a lot of time from my academics. I also did not want my parents to have to worry about money because of me. I am proud to be currently employed by Talbots, a clothing store. Balancing work and school work was a good lesson for me in the future because this is what I will have to be doing throughout all of college. Another issue that came up was a decline in my grandfathers health. We have always been close, and it was hard for me to deal with this news. Despite all that was going on, I realized how important it was to maintain my grades to be competitive for colleges. Unfortunately I simply had too much on my plate to get the grades I needed to be a better fit for Santa Cruz. UC Santa Cruz has always been the school I wanted to go to. I knew that since the first time I visited Santa Cruz as a little kid playing soccer on the UC Santa Cruz field. I only applied in state because California is definitely the place for me. </p>
<p>I am sorry to hear about your denial, and also the family hardship. Bear in mind that I am not an admissions counselor, so what follows is my seat-of-the-pants impression. USCS says
To start with, get a letter of rec. It should be from a teacher that knows you well and is willing to say what an amazing student you are and how much potential you have. Even better if they can write how they have seen you grow this year as a student, how your tests this second semester are even stronger than before. Don’t assume you’ll get a strong letter, you have to ask specifically if you will.</p>
<p>Next, much of this sounds vague. “a lot of pressure was put on me to contribute more to my college fund” could mean you worked 3 hours a week or 15. You worked a few hours on the weekend or many weeknights and all weekend. You don’t say, and they won’t guess. If you really are working a significant amount then you should list the hours so the adcoms understand how this affected you; even better is also include a paystub that documents your hours. With your dad not working, think about what other responsibilities came your way and list them. I would drop any mention of how much you want to go there. They are not going to give away places to the kids that want it the most, harsh as it may be to hear that. Its just a waste of space you could use to say something more germane. For example “decline in grandfathers health” is vague. Did it mean you just worried instead of studying? Or were you now more involved in his care, in visits to see him, in helping him out and running errands on his behalf? Specifics (without being dramatic or exaggerating) help the adcoms understand what you were going thru, information they didn’t have before when they were making their decision. </p>
<p>One other thing I’m a bit puzzled about is why this setback in the family fortune explains your GPA. The UC schools don’t see any of your senior-year grades before they make a decision, just your proposed senior schedule when you filled out your app. The 3.65 was your weighted GPA at the end of your junior year, right? If your dad became unemployed this academic year then it didn’t affect the GPA they saw at all. If, sadly, he lost his job earlier than your senior year you need to tell them specifically when it happened. And if you had to drop classes or changed your senior schedule because of his losing his job and the need for you to work, you need to tell them that. In other words you want to give them as much specific detail you can (again, without being dramatic or exaggerating) so they get the full picture of what you faced.</p>
<p>I wish you the best of luck. Let us know how it turns out.</p>
<p>Thanks for the in depth response. To clarify, I have a 3.65 overall, 3.83 last semester. The decline in my grandfathers health has only affected me mentally. My job is part time so it’s only a few days a week.</p>
<p>Why didn’t you get in?! My goodness, UC admissions are getting more messed up! I got into UCD, wait listed by UCSD and rejected by UCSB. It’s weird how I got accepted into a higher rank UC and freakin rejected by a lower ranked UC. I got into UCSC with a lower SAT score than yours.
I think your appeal letter could work. But make sure you can prove all this. I don’t know how, but if they ask you to prove all of this - you better make sure there is significant evidence to suggest your Dad was unemployed and grandad was sick. Be more specific - for e.g., what sickness did your Granddad have? And talk a little bit more about how UCSC is the best fit for you. Hope I helped.</p>
<p>In the past few months, my household went through some changes. My father who was the only employed family member is no longer working, which is affecting our families spending. Without my father working to pay for my college tuition, a lot of pressure was put on me to contribute more to my college fund. I recognized how important it was to maintain good grades while searching for employment, but unfortunately they were not as good as I would have liked. I know there are many kids who are in similar or worse situations financially, but it did take away a lot of time from my academics. I also did not want my parents to have to worry about money because of me. I am proud to be currently employed by Talbots, a clothing store. Balancing work and school work is a good lesson for me in the future because this is what I will have to be doing throughout all of college. I currently work about 10 hours a week which is difficult to balance with my other job, and managing the Tamalpais High school snowboard club. Another issue that came up was a decline in my grandfathers health. He has a very low count in white blood cells and he has been becoming slower in the past months. He could start taking a medication that could temporarily remedy the situation, but he does not want to. It was hard for me to let him decide because I strongly feel he should be taking the medication. It is also very frustrating because he does not speak english so I can’t really explain to him how I feel. We have always been close, and it was hard for me to deal with this news. Despite all that was going on, I realized how important it was to maintain my grades to be competitive for colleges. Unfortunately I simply had too much on my plate to get the grades I needed to be a better fit for Santa Cruz. UC Santa Cruz has always been the school I wanted to go to. I knew that since the first time I visited Santa Cruz as a little kid playing soccer on the UC Santa Cruz field. I only applied in state because California is definitely the place for me. </p>
<p>Why didn’t you put this information into the additional comments section in the UC Application? Though I feel sorry for your situation, it sounds like an excuse to justify lower scores.</p>
<p>From a newspaper article in the NYT a couple of years ago.</p>
<p>“A lot of people think of the appeals process as a second way to game admissions,” said Michael McCawley, associate director of admissions at University of California, Santa Cruz. “But it’s really only if the student believes they have left off new or compelling information.”</p>
<p>“Compelling to me usually means a medical situation,” Ms. Van Gieson said, stating that in such extenuating circumstances the university would accept a recommendation.</p>
<p>In the past few months, my household has gone through some changes. My father, who was the only employed family member, is no longer working, which is affecting our family’s spending. Without my father working to pay for my college tuition, a lot of pressure was put on me to contribute more to my college fund. I recognized how important it was to maintain good grades while searching for employment, but unfortunately they were not as good as I would have liked. I know there are many kids who are in similar or worse situations financially, but it did take away a lot of time from my academics. I also did not want my parents to have to worry about money because of me. I am proud to be currently employed by the clothing store Talbots. Balancing work and school work is a good lesson for me in the future because this is what I will have to be doing throughout all of college. I currently work about 10 hours a week, which is difficult to balance with my other job and my management of the Tamalpais High School Snowboard Club. Another issue that came up was a decline in my grandfather’s health. His white blood cell count is very low, and he has been becoming slower in the past months. He could start taking a medication that could temporarily remedy the situation, but he does not want to. It was hard for me to let him decide because I strongly feel he should be taking the medication. It is also very frustrating because he does not speak English so I can’t really explain to him how I feel. We have always been close, and it was hard for me to deal with this news. Despite all that was going on, I realized how important it was to maintain my grades to be competitive for colleges. Unfortunately I simply had too much on my plate to get the grades I needed to be a better fit for Santa Cruz. UC Santa Cruz has always been the school I wanted to go to. I knew that since the first time I visited Santa Cruz as a little kid playing soccer on the UC Santa Cruz field. I only applied in state because California is definitely the place for me.</p>
<p>Now! As far as stylistic things go:
Drastic changes? Dramatic changes? </p>
<p>
This sounds like a real understatement. If you mean that you no longer had any income, say that. It has more of an impact.</p>
<p>
Not clear what “they” are, and you already said “grades,” so I’d go with “my academics were not as impressive as I would have liked.”</p>
<p>
Also not clear what “it” is. “The struggle did take away”…</p>
<p>The few sentences at the end about how much you like UCSC sound like an afterthought. You need to transition better into this part.</p>