Help my dad wants me to Transfer schools!

There are also costs for books, living at home, and commuting. The latter two categories are not $0 (though generally significantly lower than living on campus), but many parents and students seem to pretend that they are, probably because they are not an obviously lump sum line item in the household budget, but scattered around various other things like grocery costs, utility bills, etc…

^Yes, it seems obvious but can be surprising. My local grocery has a thing where you can get a 10% off coupon for every $300 you spend, and you can get up to 3 and “stack them.” When I had a kid at home it was no sweat to get all three in the required time. Now I have to work hard to get two of them! Kids do eat and use the car and use hot water for showering, etc.!

Direct costs are different from expenses that can be paid as as they come up. Commuting costs and living at home aren’t $0, but neither are they so much that the difference would be enough to put a dent in tuition the way some people suggest. People who are spending an extra few hundred/month per kid probably don’t have to worry about the costs of commuting. The rest of us aren’t saving anything like that when a kid moves out. It costs as much to heat/cool my house when there were 4 of us here as when there are 5. My cable, tax, trash, and cell phone bills don’t change depending on the number of residents. The electric bill might have, but not enough to make a difference. For us, any additional cost to have the children live at home is negligible.

The biggest expense for commuters, after tuition, is for travel. But situations vary so costs will be different depending on each family’s situation. OP and her family will have to calculate those expenses based on their situation. We can’t estimate what those costs might be without knowing more about her situation.

@momofsenior1
@MYOS1634
Both echo my sentiments exactly. Hopefully the OP is able to find a good solution so late in the year.

I think that in this case, it is not unreasonable for the student to ask her parents what the plan is to pay for the remaining three years (or four depending on transfer credits). She should have some assurance that there is a actual plan.

FWIW the OP has not been back since the day this was posted.

I think that going from an OOS school where the student is fully launched and vested in a social life to living at home and commuting to the local branch is too drastic in a case like this, unless that is really the only affordable option. (Sometimes, of course, kids really need to come home.) She says that her father offered going instate as a workable option. I think she should immediately look into UMass Amherst.

I hate threads like this where an OP posts seeking help with some apparent problem or crisis… and then never comes back after the initial post.

Honestly, we don’t even know the context of the conversation in which the father brought up the idea of transfer. The OP did write that the father said she “should” transfer, not that the parents were insisting on it.

I suspect OP is disappointed she can’t get in state rates at UConn. Her dad said UConn is too expensive and told her she should transfer, then mentioned the college she can commute to from home. It doesn’t sound like they can afford a lot, so if I were her I wouldn’t count on being able to dorm anywhere. I think she needs to talk to her parents to see how much they can afford for the next 3 years before committing to another school.

I apologize for the late response, I’ve been taking some time off because this situation has distressed me. To clarify some things, I’m actually not a resident of MA, so I wouldn’t be getting instate but a regional tuition that is apparently cheaper than in state in my home state. In fact as an enrolled student of uconn my major is covered by regional discount because it is not offered in my home state.
Regarding my financial situation, apparently my family has had quite some debt that I honestly dont know how we accrued, I assume it was because of our house. In 2016 my father was unemployed, but he gained employment in late 2017. So the only financial change really is that he gained employment.
I looked more into it and it is possible to get residency and instate in CT so long as I become emancipated from my parents and officially provide for myself and get an apartment for a year. This option is still a point of contention for my parents so things have still not been decided.
The plan was never to take me out of sophomore year. So technically I guess I have “a year to decide”. It just pisses me off because the first two years are really pointless and they would be wasting money on them rather than the two years I would be taken interesting and important electives and courses pertaining to my major. I would have preferred going to UMass first, then switching or just have gone to UMass without investing my energy, Hope’s, and expectations.

Are you under age 18? If not, you cannot become an emancipated minor. It’s too late for you to gain this status.

Emancipation is a very serious legal issue whereby your parents parental rights are severed. I’m sorry, but I do not believe you should be considering this option for college financial aid gain. First of all…all it would net you is the full Pell Grant of $6000.

Oh…and even if this IS an option (which I doubt), you would need to take a year OFF from college anyway to establish that residency. You would need to work, pay taxes in CT, and fully establish residency in CT without taking a dime from your parents…and this includes things like health and car insurance.

UConn doesn’t guarantee to meet full need so your full costs will not be covered even if your EFC is $0.

What is this special major that you can’t take in your home state for less cost at a public university near where you live? What is your career goal? It is very possible that you can get to your end career goal without actually having this special undergrad major.

And lastly, I completely do not agree with you or understand your comment about “wasting your time” for two years at UConn. BUT I will add…if cost is a factor, and saving money is a factor, transferring NOW might be a better idea than waiting a year.

The courses at UConn will very likely transfer to wherever you decide to go. UConn is a major flagship, research university…and the courses are solid ones. Plus if you KNOW you will be transferring…choose your courses wisely so they WILL transfer. In other words…no fluff.

But really…what is your home state? Rhode Island? If so, what’s the problem with getting your bachelors there, and pursuing graduate study elsewhere. Plus if you transfer NOW as a sophomore, perhaps you could do a study abroad, or an away semester at another college (if URI allows this).

^ because new England flagships cannot have all specialized majors, they share them and all residents pay a special tuition reciprocity fee.

@MYOS1634 I understand this. I live in CT.

My point is that it very well might be possible to pursue this career with a different major…at a less costly instate option.

If you can commute to UMass Lowell but you’re not a resident of MA then it seems likely that you’re a resident of NH. New Hampshire doesn’t appear to have any laws that allow for the emancipation of minors, so I don’t see how you can become a resident of CT for tuition purposes.

I understand the change in circumstances is disappointing to you, but if your EFC was reduced due the loss of one income for nearly an entire year then it makes sense that it would increase drastically when a new job is figured in. How much can your parents pay for your next 3 years of school (without borrowing)? If you commuted to UMass for a year, could you afford to dorm somewhere your last 2 years?

Seems like the student and parents need to have an honest money talk, possibly with the prerequisite that the parents need to do some proactive financial planning instead of reacting to financial problems that could have been avoided if they planned ahead.

OP - So sorry this did not work out as you had hoped. Perhaps your parents have had recent reason for job security worries. Or maybe they started doing some financial retirement planning - that could be a good thing long term, even if it ROTS at the moment because it means you’ll be less likely to be supporting them in their old age.

I’m glad you posted. It gives you a place to mourn and sort through your options. Also it does a service to high school students/families that might be reading.

"Regarding my financial situation, apparently my family has had quite some debt that I honestly dont know how we accrued, I assume it was because of our house. In 2016 my father was unemployed, but he gained employment in late 2017. "

@SilverEmpress15, if your dad was out of work for a YEAR (if not more, given the dates), you should have realized that your parents were struggling to pay the bills and that they are probably still trying to catch up. And there likely would be significant financial hardship even if your mom was employed that entire time. Your parents may have gone through your college savings or retirement funds in an effort to pay the basic bills, support any siblings and still keep a roof over their heads. They may have done everything right in terms of financial planning, but long-term unemployment has a way of destroying things.

That said, I know where you’re coming from. My parents never shared financial info. Had I known the reality, I could have planned for college differently.

Maybe they were trying to protect you, but as a young adult, these are things you should be aware of even if your parents don’t spell out the gritty details. Life costs money. An EFC of $20k/year for college costs $30k out of pretax income, or $2,500/month above and beyond what it already costs to maintain your family. It’s a hard lesson, but you’ll be better prepared to deal with living as a self-supporting adult knowing the true cost of things. It still stinks. I get it.

The real lesson here seems to be to parents of prospective college students: do not make or imply any promises of college funding that you are unlikely to be able to fulfill.