<p>My twin daughters transferred this semester from another school. One of them was in a sorority at her other school that is not represented at SMU, so she was not able to Rush. The other daughter just isn't interested in joining. Consequently, my daughters are sad and absolutely miserable at SMU so far. :(. They have tried to talk to other sorority girls in their classes, but they look at them like they are from another planet, and today my daughters were completely ignored to their faces when they told some girls good morning in one of their classes! I find this hard to believe. My daughters are very pretty, they dress well, and they have vivacious personalities. They don't know what to do. My more social daughter tried signing up for one of the other organizations at the school, but no one has called her back! Are they destined to be loners for the next two years until they graduate? They love their professors, but no one wants to be their friend. It is so upsetting. Can any one give me some advice? They love SMU, except for the students they have encountered so far. </p>
<p>Give it time. Yes, a bad start, slow start. . I have a friend who I’m seeing this weekend who transferred into my college her sophomore year, and yes, that first year was a slow one for her socially. She still talks about how lonely and miserable she was. But things did get better and when she was at the cusp of deciding whether to transfer yet a gain to a school local to her parents, she decided to stay put.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.collegedata.com/cs/data/college/college_pg05_tmpl.jhtml?schoolId=1147”>http://www.collegedata.com/cs/data/college/college_pg05_tmpl.jhtml?schoolId=1147</a> suggests that 43% of female students are in sororities and 32% of male students are in fraternities.</p>
<p>So, if the sororities are too exclusive, there should be some unaffiliated students to hang out with, even though the sorority scene appear to be a greater part of the campus social scene than at many other schools.</p>
<p>Joining other clubs or organizations is the right idea. They should be able to find their tribe that way.</p>
<p>OP,
What was it that attracted your Ds to SMU? Around here, SMU is known for its competitive Greek/social scene. My impression is that most social life revolves around the Greek system when a college has that type of reputation.</p>
<p>Were they offered any kind of transfer orientation, and if so, did they meet other transfers then? Finding other transfers can be a good place to start. </p>
<p>OP,
SMU is definitely Greek. But it’s 65% non Greek.
Look at the SMU Activities webpage. I just did, and there are several events in the next week. On Saturday there is a food bank drive. On Tuesday there is a church social at Perkins Chapel. There is a talk about “Breaking the Glass Ceiling”. Tell them to go to these things. Also, intramural sports should be starting soon. Sign up for a team, even if you’re not athletic, they welcome anyone.</p>
<p>Or, go to the gorgeous gym (Dedman Center), and climb the wall or lift weights or play racquetball. If they’re not having luck making friends with girls yet, I’m sure there are some guys in the gym that would be happy to say hello to pretty twins!</p>
<p>Are they in a dorm? Are there any activities in the dorm?
Can they invite kids from their dorm to do something?
Are there on campus activities like movies or concerts? Have them invite people to go.
Can they join a club?
Can they go to the football game?
Can the join an intramural team?</p>
<p><a href=“https://smu.collegiatelink.net/”>https://smu.collegiatelink.net/</a> for clubs</p>
<p>If they are religiously inclined, SMU has great campus ministry programs - all faiths.
If they aren’t, they can always go hang out on Greenville Ave (that’s the way I spent most of my graduate years!)</p>
<p>The beauty of the campus, the proximity to home, the alumni network, the quality of the business school and the close business ties for post graduate employment in the Dallas area. All these were positives toward choosing smu. They hadn’t ever had trouble making friend , so they assumed they would meet people!</p>
<p>Unfortunately, they attended the transfer orientation, and most of the students there were foreign and new to the US (and not social at all) or outside their major. The ones that attended that night didn’t have much in common with the girls. </p>
<p>Thank you so much for your encouraging reply. I will tell them! :)</p>
<p>Yes, they are religiously inclined, so I have told them to go talk with the chaplain and possibly check into some philanthropic activities through their office! Thanks!</p>
<p>Unfortunately, they do not live in the dorm. They insisted on living off campus because they are 20 and they thought the dorm was for freshmen. I think in retrospect, it would have been helpful to insist they live in the dorm!</p>
<p>I agree with those that say joining clubs is the key. And campus ministry sounds like a great place to start where they will likely be welcomed with open arms. As they get into smaller upper level classes in their major that is another way to find friends with common interests. I transferred myself and I know that it can be difficult. Most friends are made freshman year when people are new to a school so transfers really need to work at it. Tell them to keep at it and they will end up fine. It is good that they have each other there for now.</p>
<p>The percentage of Greeks on campus isn’t always indicative of the power or influence of Greeks on campus. Some Greek systems are very laid back and inclusive, and yield little real power on campus. And then there’s SMU - probably one of the most exclusive and powerful Greek systems in the country. As Maggiepie noted, however, the school has a lot to offer and 65% of the students aren’t Greek. They need to focus their efforts on finding that 65%, either through clubs, religious organizations, study groups, or classes. It would be helpful if they stayed on campus to study instead of heading back to their apartment after class. </p>
<p>There is plenty of life outside of Greek social life, even at schools where they are prominent. A learning situation- insiders/outsiders. Perhaps they will realize how they treated others at the other school and be better people for this change. You also need to rethink your definition of a social life. It won’t be the structured activities of the Greek system. A lot more freedom in choosing activities and discovering interests. It takes time to meet like minded people.</p>
<p>Why did they leave their other school? </p>
<p>They need to get involved with their campus church and other service organizations. </p>
<p>Does the school have a Club Sign-up Day? If so, go to that. </p>
<p>SMU just doesn’t seem to be a school to “transfer into”. It seems more like a school that you go from frosh year on.</p>