Help narrowing down East Coast list - focus on campus culture

My daughter is a 7th grader, and we’re beginning to work on narrowing down a list of boarding schools on the East Coast to visit during a week this fall. We live on the West Coast, and will visit several of those schools separately.

We have several criteria that make for easy filtering (% boarding, % international students, etc.), but one of the most important criteria to me is a culture of kindness on campus. If she is going to be across the country from us, I want for her to be in a place where the students are kind to each other, and the faculty and staff are supportive of the students rather than creating a “sink or swim” atmosphere.

SAS is on the top of our list after reading this forum extensively. Mercersburg also seems like it would rate highly from a campus culture perspective.

I’d appreciate insight, especially from personal experience, on schools that stand out in the kindness category.

I’m very much a cheerleader for my school but Berkshire is definitely a “happy” school. The overall campus vibe is very friendly and welcoming. The student body is approximately 400 kids, making the school community very tight and close knit. One of the things my parents were concerned about when I was applying to schools was that I would end up choosing a school that was a “sink or swim” enviroment. They didn’t want me to be at a school where there was a chance I could skip through the cracks. All the students know one another (I can probably name 85% of the school and recognize everybody) and teachers know every student as well, whether they have a connection to them or not. Every quarter, the faculty sits down and gives a brief report on every student. If a student is having trouble, they try to identify what the problem might be with the help of faculty members and teachers close to him. All students are also paired with advisors in small groups of 2-6 kids per advisor. New students are placed with advisors when they enter Berkshire and can change advisors if they feel they connect more with another faculty member. Advisory groups meet 2x a week and the advisor/advisee relationship is very special. My advisor is always accessible to me and I go to her when I’m upset or need advice. She is more than just somebody who gives us school updates and logistics info. She is like a close friend/mother figure who bakes me cookies when I’m sick:) If you want to know more about Berkshire, feel free to on me with any questions.

George School is known for its culture of kindness and it’s diverse and welcoming community. It is a very caring place. The academics are excellent but I think that is the norm at most schools. They offer an IB curriculum if that appeals to you. They really honor everyone as an individual and encourage students to figure out who they are and want to be. It’s very much a "citizen of the world " mindset.

Feel free to PM me if you would like more info. DS loved his experience there, and as parents, we really loved the person he became there.

Checkout Suffield Academy. Kids seemed happy. Staff seemed caring. Small, tight knit, strong school spirit.

St. Mark’s would be worth looking into. It stood out to me culturally. Concur on Berkshire, too.

Mercersburg most definitely has a kind and supportive culture.

When we started our search last year, campus culture was one of the most important criteria for my son. We toured several Mid Atlantic schools, and he ultimately decided to apply to Mercersburg, George School and Blair. All three of these schools have warm, friendly and welcoming atmospheres. We felt that each of these schools would offer strong levels of support and would not be sink or swim. He was accepted to both of his top two choices - Mercersburg and George - and had a tough decision to make in April. Ultimately he chose Mercersburg and is now a proud incoming member of the class of 2022.

The three schools I mentioned, plus SAS are all great choices to consider. We enjoyed the campus cultures at all of these schools - but they are each very different from each other. Location, boarding percentages, dress codes and student populations (i.e. Blair was the preppiest in our opinion) and even religious foundation vary widely between these schools.

Best of luck to you, it is an exciting time for your family!

As a SAS and George parent, I second gardenstategal’s recommendation.

Check out Deerfield. Despite the academic rigor, it is a very happy and supportive place. For example, in order to encourage student and faculty interaction, students at DA are discouraged from talking on their cell phones while they walk around in the campus. Our DS chose Deerfield over other options excatly because he found the students there were kind, happy and enjoying the journey as opposed to only focusing on the destination (college).

I sincerely appreciate the recommendations. We have lots of homework to do in narrowing down a very large list of possibilities into a tractable list of schools to visit!

@gardenstategal and @SevenDad, I notice that George has a relatively low percentage of boarders compared to some of the others listed. I’m wondering if that has an impact, especially on the weekends?

Would she consider all girls? If so, you might want to consider Emma Willard… Also: Depending on where on the West Coast you live, you might want to consider diversity as one of the criteria. We were shocked by the lack of diversity at some East Coast schools compared to what our kids experience every day living in California.

@westcoastmom987: Obviously vs. SAS’s 100% boarding, George has a different vibe. But, in our experience, the low-is ratio doesn’t have as much as an impact on atmosphere as it did at the other BS my younger daughter attended for 2 years (Masters).

I think one thing going in George’s favor (vs. some of the other reccos so far) is that it is a Quaker school…with Meetings for Worship mandatory. Even if you are not a Quaker (or an Episcopalian, in the case of St. Andrew’s), I think it’s hard to deny that the faith-based schools emphasize values (including kindness) more than other, more sectarian schools. At least that’s been my impression.

If you haven’t reviewed it already, my recap of my older daughter’s process (she went to SAS) may be of interest:
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/1174214-one-family%C2%92s-bs-search-and-application-process-%C2%97-start-to-finish-p1.html

George has about 350 boarders, and it’s made clear to even those who are local that the expectation is that they should be part of the community (so not leaving every weekend. ) Many day students tend to stay on campus well into the evening and are there on weekends as well. So there is a pretty vibrant 24/7 life.

There are smaller schools that are 100% boarding and have the same # of boarders. I would not rule out a school without visiting on that basis.

Sounds like George should make the short list, then - thank you!

@CaliMex She’s pretty opposed to all girls. And good point about diversity. We will keep that in mind. She currently attends a very progressive, diverse Montessori school, and it’s hard to imagine her fitting in to some of the formal, preppy environments we see in photos of schools in the East! She’s really insistent about visiting and applying out of California, though, so we will support her search (and make a fun trip out of it, hopefully). She will look at CA schools too, but unfortunately not Thacher - allergic to horses!

My son goes to a progressive Montessori school as well. Schools that had a friendly “Montessori” feel that we have visited have been Vermont Academy, Kimball Union and New Hampton. The Gunnery, Brewster, Putney, Lawrance Academy, Concord, Pomfret and Middlesex have all commented on how Montessori kids do really well in their programs. I guess they put their money where their mouths are because they all seem to have Montessori schools nearby where many staff send their children. All of those schools are close enough that you could easily visit a bunch of them in one visit.

St Mark’s campus climate is what put it as one of our favorites after interviewing and it does not disappoint!! People there are genuine…just good, good people! Academics there are strong (average old SAT was 2013) but without stress or cut-throat competition. Everyone works together. Walking across campus, you will get repeated greetings and welcomes…that is not a facade. DS says that is the norm. They are a big family. A kid was asked to leave early in the year for disrespectful behavior (bullying). That type of action/attitude is not at all tolerated. It is a small, close-knit community where cooperation, collegiality and stretching without stressing is emphasized. I would definitely go visit if you get the chance…you will be glad you did!!

I’m also a known cheerleader for NMH (my daughter’s school) but I think it fits your criteria, especially now that I see you are looking for progressive and non preppy - it stands out amongst its peers in both those categories and my daughter choose it specifically because we thought the kids were the most friendly. It has a very chill vibe, the kids are not competitive or cliquey and it is one of the most diverse schools too - 1/3 international roughly.

@chemmchimney that’s on buuzngirl’s list due to all of the similar descriptions on CC about campus vibe!

I’d look at St Andrew’s, which has a strong culture of kindness and social responsibility and is quite diverse (though its formal dress code makes it seem quite preppy). You might want to check out Putney, too, if you are drawn to a more progressive and experiential pedagogy. What are her favorite things to do outside of academics?

Seconding the suggestion above to look at Emma Willard. The school is quite intentional about fostering a community that lets every girl be herself and be affirmed for her unique strengths. Residential staff are specialists in helping girls connect and grow.