Help on the SAT Essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>For the February SAT, I got a perfect MC score but then was brought down by my essay score. I got an 8 on this essay, which is the same score that I got on it when I took the test as a Freshmen. (I'm a junior now) The fact that my essay score is still the same disturbs me and I honestly want to know what is wrong with this essay. Any help/criticisms you guys could offer me would be greatly appreciated. </p>

<p>Prompt: Is it necessary for people to imitate others before they can become original and creative?</p>

<pre><code> The imitation of others is the basic starting point that eventually leads into originality and creative work. Imitation allows one to grasp basic concepts and then later apply those concepts in innovative ways. Support that imitation is necessary for originality can be found in Isaac Newton’s life, Andre Carnegie’s life, and my little brother’s life.

Isaac Newton once said, “If I have seen farther than others, then it has been by standing on the shoulder of giants”. By this, Newton means that his success is due to the fact that he imitated other successful scientists and mathematicians before him. For example, Newton is credited with the creation of calculus. However, although calculus was an innovative creation, the basis of calculus itself was rooted in previously proven mathematical theorems and ideas. Thus, Newton first had to imitate past mathematicians before he could be creative with math. This emphasizes that imitation is necessary for originality.

Andrew Carnegie also supports hits point. Carnegie was the owner of a gigantic steel monopoly during the 1900’s. He was known to be the most efficient steel producer of his time. However, his originality and innovation came from imitation. Before joining the steel industry, Carnegie had little knowledge of how to make steel. Then he saw how Europeans were making steel through the Bessemer Process. Taking this process to America, Carnegie continued to improve and innovate the steel industry until he became the richest man in the world. This shows how creativity first stems from imitation.

Finally, my little brother’s experience with Minecraft also supports this thesis. Minecraft is a game where one can build anything using building blocks. At first, my brother was clueless and unable to build anything incredible. Then my brother watched Youtube videos that gave instruction son how to build basic structures. He followed these instructions; then, using his new found knowledge, he made his own inventions, which included a floating castle and a house on top of a forest of tress. By imitating the people on Youtube and learning how to build from them, my brother was able to create far superior and more creative structures. This shows that imitation is necessary for innovation.

Icaac Newton’s experiences, Andrew Carnegie’s experiences, and my brother’s experiences show how imitation is necessary before one can be creative and original.
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<p>Some things that I noticed:
I felt that my writing itself could have been more eloquent and included more transitional elements. I also felt like I had the examples necessary but then failed to properly develop them a little better. As my AP Lang teacher would say, there's too much reference to evidence and not enough commentary on the evidence. Also, I was curious if this was how I should organize my essay. Should the SAT essay be organized by the examples you have? I have seen a lot of sample essays organized this way; I assumed it was the easiest way considering the time constraint. </p>

<p>Once again, thank you all for whatever time you put into this.</p>

2

<p>Short intro and conclusion are probably what hurt you. The SAT people seem to grade in a rather shallow manner - whether or not you can write a five-paragraph format, basically. I got a 10 and my examples were much worse but every paragraph had 5 sentences.</p>

3

<p>Your intro is flawed in 2 main ways: </p>

<p>1) No relevance: You have a position and a justification, granted. However, you lack a key component to a powerful intro: RELEVANCE. You need to bring the topic into the spotlight and speak about how it relates to everyday life - why this is an important topic.</p>

<p>2) Examples in introduction: This is a big NO NO. Do not mention your two examples in your introduction.</p>

<p>FACT: The introduction counts for a huge part of the overall score. It sets the tone. It is your voice and if the reader likes it you get a high BASE SCORE. That is what holistic grading is all about. </p>

<p>TIP: Just imagine you meet someone and your first impression of him is weak. Will it matter what he says to you about his life if you don’t even care about him?</p>

<p>TIP: STICK TO 2 EXAMPLES</p>

<p>Unless you are a prolific writer who can pump out ten words a second don’t even try the 3 example format. Stick to 2. You are not gaining any points by adding a third. Rather, you are losing them because you are not devoting enough time to the most important parts (intro and conclusion)</p>