Help! Parents won't let me continue my education

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi
So basically, I spent a year in college in my country but glancing at the education structure there, I'd rather not continue my education there. I couldn't anyways, I am not the type of student who can memorise everything from a book and copy paste it in exams. I dropped out of my first year of college, paying for my own college that is.</p>

<p>Now, I applied at City University of New York, SUNY, Penn State, GeorgiaTech, NYU and a few other universities, and got accepted in all of them with the exception of Jamestown because it required WES credentials. Anyways, I am intending to follow a 2+2 path (2 Years community college and 2 years uni) from one of the CUNY/SUNY colleges. This because I have a few friends in the New York City who can take me in and are able to provide around a couple thousands in financial help. Now, the total cost of CUNY is 16000$, which my parents refuse to pay despite having 200,000$ in savings(Savings, properties etc etc). As far as I know, their reasoning has not been logical. Any attempts to talk to my father has been resulted in "No, I won't let you do it." even if I ask for reason, the response is "No reason, you don't get to do it. If you want to do it do it on your own." As a last resort, I asked them to cosign a loan(Yeah yeah I know the burden and all) and he refused. My mother supports me(partially, when my dad is not around) but she doesn't when he is around.</p>

<p>My TOEFL iBT is 107, with R/W/S/L 26,29,23,29 and my High school grades have been overall good, sans the slump in eleventh grade due to high difficulty. (86, 90, 60, 70 for four years).</p>

<p>Now, my dad will not let me study further, will not cosign a loan for me and I cannot make my own choices anyway because apparently I'm seventeen. I'm not. I was born in 1995 but my dad decided to make my birth certificate much later in late 2000s which shows my date of birth as 1996, hence, despite being 18, I'm 17 and my birthday comes in March so I can't make any independent decisions till then :/</p>

<p>I'm really worried right now. Any help, regardless of advice, financial aid institutions, sponsorship or anything, will be highly appreciated. Thanks.</p>

<p>PS. I'm not asking them to pay 40000$ I'm just asking them to pay the tuition fee for first two years(16K) so I can at least get an associates' degree.</p>

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<p>How much was tuition, room and board in your home country? Were your parents paying these costs?</p>

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<p>Depends, 5000$-ish. and around 25% of it, yes.
Edit: and that one year kinda took my savings since 4th grade.</p>

4

<p>For the community college 2 years, is it $16,000 per year? Could you get your parents to pay the same as they did in your home country plus you work part time plus look into federal loans (which are yours, not your parents)? </p>

<p>I wonder if your parents’ reluctance to pay is partly because you dropped out the first time around. Maybe they don’t believe you will succeed now and don’t want to invest more. </p>

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<p>That is a lot of what students do… I know parents who have p***ed away a lot of money on poor students who didn’t want to or couldn’t do college level work, so I have some sympathy for parents who are reluctant to pay more for a kid who dropped out once before.</p>

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<p>It’s 8000/PA, so 16000$ two years. If I enrol in MCC, it’s 6000$ a year. I’d be an international student so I wouldn’t get any federal loans, remember?</p>

<p>and I know, I am pretty sure I can manage the college level courses in the states and that’s what I did for four years of my high school.</p>

<p>Edit : Now that I think about it, My parents micromanage everything, and are too controlling in nature. :confused: I didn’t get a choice in which subjects to take all my four years of highschool either but I kinda let it go because I thought I’d have my options in college later on when I apply to the US. Btw, I was accepted in University of Manchester and U of Liverpool in the United Kingdom last year but chose not to go because of the cost issues. I’ve been talking about going abroad to study since 10th grade so this can’t be called any “Sudden” change.</p>

<p>Also, My dad was not supportive in the beginning, then he was around May…we even talked about what to show in the visa documents and stuff, and suddenly, On June 15th, when I went to another city to take a placement test, and I returned, I found everything inverted. My parents refused to even admit they were thinking of letting me go and had been abusive(verbally) since the day.</p>

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<p>Ah… I missed that you are living abroad now. Without support from your parents this is going to be very difficult. You can’t get any federal aid in the US, and if they won’t pay you are probably out of luck. I will be blunt… if you were my kid and hadn’t succeeded in college in your home country on the first try, I wouldn’t be paying for studying abroad anyplace else either. Especially in the US where education is more expensive than many other countries.</p>

7

<p>Sounds like it isn’t about not wanting to pay for your education. They don’t want to pay for your education in New York. </p>

<p>You might have to wait a year. I’d allow it, but not every parent wants a 17 year old to leave the country.</p>

8

<p>True, and I know where you’re coming from intparent.</p>

<p>Well, more specifically, they wouldn’t want me going out of the home country? Why would that be I wonder. Also, Yes, I know it sounds idiotic, but I’m asking them to cosign a loan which requires me showing 16000$ for my I-20 for Visa. that’s about it. I’m not asking them for money(Well technically I still have to pay the loan, the only problem would be how assured they are that I’ll pay the loan) which they supposedly hold so dear.</p>

<p>Basically what bugs me is that they turned around at the last moment.</p>

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<p>Why would that be? Maybe because you didn’t succeed with the supports of living at home (likely at a cheaper school). And you had an 11th grade slump due to “high difficulty”. So why would they think you would succeed thousands of miles away in New York? </p>

<p>If they “co-sign” the loan, then they are on the hook if you don’t end up paying. I also don’t blame them for that. </p>

<p>I think if you want them to provide support and do things like co-sign loans, you are going to have to prove yourself in the education system at home for a couple of years first, then look at transferring then. Discuss that with them and see if that is possible.</p>

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<p>As an OOS/Out of City student Tuition and fees at CUNY CC is $8400 per year, then you have to add fees, books, transportation and housing (I doubt if anyone is going to let you couch surf for free for 2 years).</p>

<p>Obtaining residency for in city/in state tuition</p>

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