pls score my essay :D

<p>topic: Do society's rules limit our decisions such that our choices are not freely made?</p>

<p>Essay: </p>

<p>We are living in a world of freedom in which we are allowed to speak, write, and think on our own. Although freedom officially is not limited, social norms somehow limit us from making our choices freely. </p>

<p>Status quo shapes our thoughts. Anything done beside that is considered iconoclastic. We are only free within the boundary of status quo. In Scarlet Letter, the Puritans community influenced people. Hester Prynne, the woman who was accused of committing adultery, was despised by townspeople even though they did not know the fact. What they did so reflected purely the Puritans' status quo in which people could be easily condemned though they were only suspected. The townspeople did not have the alternatives to think but followed status quo. </p>

<p>Social norms also discouraged us from thinking too differently. We know it would be in vain to oppose majority. As times pass by, our thinking paradigm tends to go within social norms. In the 19th century, slavery predominated societies. Slaves were servile to their masters. Even though slavery was an apparent inequality, many slaves did not uprise against their masters as slavery was, at that time, justified. This social acceptance disparaged the slaves to claim independence. </p>

<p>It's true that there were some people who was not limited by social decisions. Martin Luther King Jr., Frederick Douglass, and Mahatma Gandhi stood up against social norms. However, only minority was not limited by social customs. The majority, on the other hand, tends to follow social norms without doubts. </p>

<p>In conclusion, we, the majority of people, are limited by social decisions such that our choices are not freely made. Just as cultures shape people's identity, social norms shape people's thoughts, and importantly, choices.</p>

<p>The third example kind of falls apart. You name check Gandhi but dont say anything specific about him or why he proves your position. </p>

<p>Your logic is getting much better, but there are still problems with your phraseology. Like “As times pass by” and "Anything done beside that is considered iconoclastic. " I would suggest keeping your word and expression choice simple. </p>

<p>Your conclusion is ok but you are supposed to reaffirm your premise in terms of your examples. For instance “Just as the townsfolk could only view Hester Prynne’s pregnancy through the lens of Puritan morality, many Southern slaves never rebelled because they could only imagine a society in which they were the inferior members”.</p>

<p>thank you so much for grading, argbargy</p>

<p>Can’t i just say that Gandhi and these people stood up against social norms because everyone knows who they are? and what is the score range?</p>

<p>You are welcome thanakorns; I hope the advice will be helpful to you. </p>

<p>The graders are familiar with most of the academic examples students reference (I’d imagine they are sick of Frederick Douglass by now) but that doesnt excuse the student from making their own argument. You still must be specific in your examples to show both that you know what you are talking about and that why your particular argument holds. </p>

<p>In the case of Indian Independence you might say “At the time the Indian educated class had very strong ties to Britain which made the idea of succession almost inconceivable for them. Many had been educated in English boarding schools from youth. And they and their families owed their status to the British civil service system that had been running the sub-Continent for 100 years.” Now you are making clearer what it was that constrained them from think of rebellion against the Crown- not just “social norms” but the fact that they had deep economic and self-identity ties to Britain. </p>

<p>I think this one is a 4.</p>

<p>4/6</p>

<p>You don’t have a good grasp of the English language and thus are using big words like “paradigm” and “disparaged” incorrectly. (You won’t fool the SAT graders, so stick with words you understand!)</p>

<p>You start to wander from your thesis in the second paragraph, and in the last paragraph you are aren’t addressing it at all.</p>

<p>thanakorns you are very dedicated in writing these essays. Next one I would suggest you forget the time limit and spend as much as you need to make a perfect SAT essay. </p>

<p>Concentrate on

  • clear thesis in response to the prompt
  • three examples that all focus on supporting your prompt in different ways
  • make sure your examples are specific</p>