<p>I am going to be a high school senior, and I have narrowed down my college choices to Wayne State University (Detroit) and Northwestern University (Evanston, near Chicago). I live near Detroit, and I want to become a physical therapist. Wayne State has a good program, while Northwestern has one of the nation's top programs. I have excellent grades, various extracurriculars, and a high ACT score, so I feel like i have a good chance of getting accepted in Northwestern. Money is not an issue. At Wayne State I will recieve merit scholarships while at Northwestern I will recieve financial aid and need-based scholarships. I can attend either without debt and minimal out-of-pocket costs. Northwestern is my dream school; I love the campus, the city, the atmosphere, and the college programs it offers.</p>
<p>My problem is that my mom does not want me to move out. She is bent on sending me to Wayne State, her alma matter. I have tried discussing Northwestern with her calmy, logically, and respectfully, but she always becomes angry and defensive. She does not want her "baby" leaving her. It's not like Northwestern is across the country (it's only a 4-5 hour train ride away from our home). Her mind is closed and she will not listen to what I have to say! I am very mature and responsible- I have proven this to my parents all throughout all of high school. I have consistently taken challenging courses, recieved good grades, played a sport, volunteered, participated in clubs, and worked, while still managing my time so that I was always able to clean the house and spend time with my family. I have a good relationship with my parents and I am a good daughter and person. My dad is more open to the idea, but he isn't fully convinced. I have the opportunity to attend the best school, so why should I settle for anything less? </p>
<p>I want to apply early decision to Northwestern this August/September, but I will not be able to if my mom does not support me. What should I do? Am I wrong in this situation? Should I just listen to my mom and attend Wayne State University instead of my dream school (which is quite an attainable dream)? Any advice would be really appreciated! Thanks in advance!</p>
<p>I understand completely! I have a similar situation myself.
When talking to her, I might try approaching from a different angle. Instead of listing the merits of the school (which she probably already knows) and talking about how responsible you are (which she knows too) let her know that you get where she’s coming from. You can say Hey Mom, I love you, and I understand you don’t want me to leave. I’ll miss you too. But keeping me here is selfish. It won’t allow me to grow as a person, learn to take care of myself, and pursue a career/family.
If you can make her understand that forcing you to stay is detrimental to YOU in the long run, then maybe she will be able to let go.
Hope this helps!</p>
<p>As a parent, I would not suggest telling a parent that their desire to keep their baby at home is selfish. It may be a fair suggestion, but if my children told me I was being selfish, I would stop listening to anything else coming out of their mouth.</p>
<p>I would encourage you to frame it in terms of opportunity for growth, development, your dreams. Few parents want to admit holding their children back from realizing their dreams.</p>
<p>At the same time – a cautionary note about Northwestern – it is basically a lottery school, which turns away more well-qualified students than it can accept. Simply meeting the criteria means an applicant is in the “will consider further” pile, rather than in the “admit” pile. So, continue to work on the ED app permission, but don’t hold your breath. </p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>You should definitely apply to both, and perhaps a few others, in order to have some choices. Good luck!!</p>
<p>Also, again as a parent – sometimes when a parent puts on the breaks, it is because they are worried about something else related to the college decision and are not sure how to broach it. Your mom may be worried about finances and framing it in terms of being too far away etc. </p>
<p>Many families are stunned when they dig deeper into financial aid issues and discover that, although they think they should qualify for full need-based aid, a school may determine they should contribute thousands of dollars - a scary proposition for us parents who have encouraged our kids throughout their primary and secondary education only now to discover that we cannot afford for them to “realize their dreams.” For instance, in my family, we live modestly and consider ourselves solidly middle class. Net price calculators tell us we should contribute $35,000 per year. There is no way there is an extra $35,000 in our life waiting to be spent on college. So we had to make some adjustments. Your family may be worried about similar “surprises.”</p>
<p>So, have an honest conversation about money, try out the net price calculator on both schools websites, and see what you come up with. You may stumble onto some surprises.</p>
<p>“I want to apply early decision to Northwestern this August/September, but I will not be able to if my mom does not support me.”</p>
<p>Do not apply anywhere ED if you need financial aid. You want to be able to compare all of the packages that you are offered. Right now what you have is an estimate of your aid from the Northwestern website. Until you have the final aid package in the spring (yes, the aid package you would get with an ED acceptance can still change after you and your parents file your taxes and finalize the 2014-2015 FAFSA and CSS Profile) you won’t know what type(s) of aid or the amount(s) that you will receive from Northwestern (assuming of course that you are admitted).</p>
<p>Apply to several places where you are reasonably certain that you will be admitted, and that you are reasonably certain will prove to be affordable provided the Net Price Calculators at their websites are accurate. In April, when you have all of the acceptances and aid packages, make your decision. Who knows? By then your mother may be more willing to accept the notion of you leaving home.</p>
<p>Try asking your mom (or your dad) why they would rather have you stay home for college and start from there. I’m guessing there’s more to it then just wanting you to stay home forever. They know you’ll leave eventually.</p>
<p>@Midwestmomofboys
Money really isn’t an issue. We tried the net price calculator and are aware of possible federal aid. Northwestern is extremely affordable because of the Northwestern scholarship and other factors.
My mom will not let me go to Northwestern because she wants me to stay home, not because she is worried about costs.</p>
<p>I’m not convinced that money is not an issue (is the Northwestern scholarship guaranteed?). However, I might also mention to your parents that given how close Northwestern is, there will be many opportunities for your parents to visit and for you to come home, including Family Weekend, Thanksgiving break, Winter Break and Spring Break.</p>