<p>Hey, I'm a senior in South Carolina, and so far I've applied to USC-Columbia, Clemson, Emory, and Vanderbilt. I'm looking into majoring in Chemical or Mechanical Engineering (Emory would be a different case, of course). The last university I want to apply to is Northwestern, but there is one problem: my parents do NOT want me to be that far away from home, so as of now, they're against me applying to Northwestern (just to put things in perspective, my dad was originally against me applying to Emory, which is a little less than a 5-hour drive from where I live). Our financial situation as a family isn't the best as of now, so asking them just to pay the application fee and let me apply is difficult. My parents both have their own reasons for being against me going off that far. My mom thinks I'll miss my family too much and that I won't be able to handle it emotionally. My dad, being a little more practical, thinks I just won't be able to take care of myself - i.e. taking care of a car or keeping up with daily needs that come with living on my own. While I understand their reasoning, I think I should be able to handle the adjustment. I'm the oldest child, so I'll be the first that they send off to college, so the college process is new for all of us. Both of them want me to be close enough to where they can drive to me in case I get hurt or something of that nature. I've tried talking to each of my parents about Northwestern and their engineering school, but it always ends quickly with them concluding that it's just too far away. I want them to really consider Northwestern as a college choice.
So my question is: What should I do just to convince my parents to consider Northwestern? If you're a parent who is going through or has gone through a similar situation, please give me your opinion. If you're a student that has traveled a long distance for college, tell me anything that I should know before considering this option.</p>
<p>I’m a student at Clemson right now and I live in Boston, MA so I’m traveling quite a ways to go to college. One thing to consider is that you probably won’t be at home a lot. My parents don’t have a lot of money to pay for flights back every single break so I’ve had to stick it out fall and thanksgiving breaks (and everyone else leaves so I end up being lonely for a week or so). I really haven’t missed my family too much since I’ve thrown myself into things here and keep myself really busy but that’s definitely different for everybody, I know people who get very homesick. Not much advice I can give to you about how to persuade your parents. My parents were pretty resistant at first to my wish to go to college in the south but in the end they let me make my own decisions so I lucked out there. Best of luck convincing your parents!</p>
<p>PS: If you have any questions about Clemson, let me know!</p>
<p>Thanks, I think that I would be in a similar situation that you’re in now if I go to Northwestern. I didn’t think about having to stay for those smaller breaks, so that is something to think about. I’m visiting Clemson tomorrow, so who knows, I may end up liking Clemson a lot.</p>
<p>Pierre brings up a good point about staying at or near your college over breaks. I had great friends who always invited me to their homes for these breaks so I was able to travel with them during that time. I think if you’re an independent, adventurous, and motivated individual there is nothing better than going to college far away. I went from CA to southwestern Virginia and my favorite part was experiencing the southern culture. Similarly, going to Chicago for you would be an education in itself. The best and worst part about NW is it’s in a big city. This mean that travel should be relatively easy (rather than flying to a small town and then driving a couple hours), you don’t need a car because you can take the L and buses into downtown, and there is a ton to do. On the other hand, going to school in cities means that the cost of living is going to be more expensive. </p>
<p>I think this is a case where you need to apply. Go and mow some lawns or tutor kids if you need to pay for the fee yourself. Then, if you are admitted, you need to visit the campus and take one of your parents with you to SHOW them why you love that school and that everything will be fine. That’s what my brother and I did and our parents let us go 3,000 miles away. On the other hand, you may visit NW and realize that Chi Town winters just aren’t for you. As an aside, I was considering NW for a graduate program and they were excellent. I really enjoyed the entire vibe on campus.</p>
<p>My D is at a college three hours away by car. On a day to day basis, it doesn’t matter if she’s three hours by car or by plane. Even if she was at a college 1/2 hour away - and living on-campus - she would be on her own.</p>
<p>You don’t have to be lonely on campus during the breaks. Someone I know has a son at a college in the midwest and can’t fly him home for Thanksgiving. He is going home with a friend.</p>
<p>Bigger issue, I think, is the cost of the private colleges. If your family is worried about the cost of the application, what about the pricetag on the school? NU, Emory and Vanderbilt are $$$$$.</p>
<p>As an aside, NU is not IN the city; it’s the first suburb north of Chicago. But, as previously stated, totally simple to jump on the el to get down town. No need for a car. And it’s NU, not NW. Sorry - pet peeve - I’m an alum! It also bothers me when I see NW scroll by on the bottom of the ESPN screen when they give football scores!</p>
<p>wow, thanks for all of the answers.
@LINYMOM I plan on applying for financial aid at all of these colleges and I’m always looking out for scholarships at school or online. Is the financial aid at NU what the university makes it out to be? I know they guarantee to cover 100% of demonstrated need, but I’ve heard of individual situations where this wasn’t exactly the case.</p>
<p>Nu does meet 100% of demonstrated need, but your parents will be responsible for their EFC and you will also be required to have some summer earnings and most likely have to take a stafford loan as well. You will also be offered work study of about 2200. The EFC will be determined by the CSS Profile.</p>
<p>Vanderbilt on the other hand does not require students to take loans - ie, stafford.</p>
<p>Will your parents be able to afford to pay their EFC? </p>
<p>Have you talked to your parents about how they will pay for college?</p>
<p>I understand their concerns, but I would think their bigger concern might be making sure that you get into an affordable college.</p>
<p>Our financial situation as a family isn’t the best as of now, so asking them just to pay the application fee and let me apply is difficult.</p>
<p>NU has a good aid program (on a 60-99 rating scale on Princeton Review, NU students rated the university’s aid a 94) and as indicated above, meets 100% of need. They may do better for you than EFC. </p>
<p>You know better than anyone what credence to give to your parents’ arguments. Assuming that you’re hearing them accurately, I’m a little surprised that they’d say those things to you. Do you think that you’re too emotionally fragile to handle the separation (considering that isn’t about separating or not - it’s just a matter of how many miles)? Do you think that you’re incapable of learning to take care of yourself? If not now, when? You’ll be around 22 when you graduate - is that a better time to begin to learn how to accept a greater degree of autonomy with life skills? These are valid questions, but as a parent, I’d let you consider them. I wouldn’t try to convince you that you lack the capacity for adaptation.</p>
<p>My two older daughters both went 1,100 miles away to college. We’ve missed them. If it was about our likes and dislikes, I’d have loved to have kept them close. But they’ve grown immensely in the years that they’ve been at college. Perhaps the dramatic change of venue has had something to do with that.</p>
<p>thanks everyone for the advice. it’s really helped the past few days. i should have joined this forum a long time ago!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>You won’t be having a car as a freshman at NU and frankly you don’t need a car there at all. But the bigger point is - if you can’t do these things, you can’t do them whether you’re at a college 1 hour away or 10 hours away.</p>