I love the methodology of @GMC2918 and @sgopal2, however, I like to add an additional step. After the ranking, I like to ask whether the results turned out “correctly.” If not, I suggest going with how s/he “wishes” the results would have come out. This allows the tool to be used, as @GMC2918 suggests, to clarify thinking, while giving permission not to go with the outcome.
@GMC, I think I will end up like your daughter. I’m so interested in so many different things and feel like I will be happy in many different places. At the end of the day it will be hard for me to choose between very different experiences!
Sitting in Starbucks while DD is revisiting Andover for the second time. We’ve been struggling with the decision much as I was concerned we would. After our official revisit on 4/3 DD wanted to return to the LPS but couldn’t really describe why. We went through our checklist reviewed the rankings so it was more an emotional reaction than a rational one but DD is clear that it is not about her boyfriend. DD did not have a good day on the original revisit hence round two today. I’m quite grateful the AO for arranging the second visit. Whatever the final decision is I’m hopeful we can all get behind it with no future regrets.
Really hope today turns the tide!
Good luck today @RedSoxFan18!
At least I can say all I did to help her with decision but unfortunately DD has passed on both Milton and Andover and will be returning to the local public school. Tough day.
Aww, she’ll be successful wherever she goes for high school. @RedSoxFan18
You’ve done a fantastic job,that is especially hard work.
@RedSoxFan18 She might regret it; she might not. Either way, there’s a good lesson here. Best of luck to your D! 
It is tough being a parent of a teen.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink…
Hope you find a silver lining in all this.
@redsoxfan18: Good luck to your daughter. I am sure she will find success wherever she goes… she has you backing her up!
@RedSoxFan18 I know how you’re feeling. We cleared the first huddle of DD deciding to attend BS instead of our local day school where she is thriving. They were kind enough to extend our February deadline for enrollment until we received BS results. We just completed a whirlwind 5 school revisit trip where she narrowed the choice to Exeter and Cate. Finally decided on Cate late last night. I don’t consider our family to be especially “prestige” crazy, but it was still hard to say no to Exeter. Funnily enough, going through the same process for DS who is college bound in the fall. I think he may turn down a very “prestigious” name for a better fit as well. I guess time will tell - we are either doing something right by raising sensible kids or just plain crazy!
There’s nothing wrong with turning down BS. @RedSoxFan18, if your daughter is making this decision based on reason (which it sounds like she is), and she is supported, you did everything right.
@redsoxfan18, I have one 9th grader at boarding school this year and one in public school. The experience is different, but they are both happy and thriving.
I am sure she will be happy, it just feels like a lost opportunity. It was very important to me that the decision be hers. I’ve attended BS with students whose parents made the decision for them and I would not do that to my child. Love the supportive CC community, thanks to all.
I’m glad you made her feel good enough to not “just go” because she thought she should, especially to some good schools. There are a lot of great things that can happen in the summers!
There is lots of interesting data that the kids who are high on wait lists at the elite schools do just as well later as the admitted kids. I think that would apply even more to admitted kids who choose not to attend. They have the ability and promise that the schools recognize. And it sounds like they have spunk too ! Best wishes.
Suggest doing all the great things at home we parents of BS kids can’t easily do - help with transport to activities, encourage interesting uncommon extracurriculars, maybe dual enroll in college courses.
@RedSoxFan18 I am glad you honored her decision in the end. I think the children who have the hardest time in BS are those that really are not sure they want to be there. I have one child who really wanted BS and it was obvious by the way she embraced the whole process. My second child showed little interest and at the end of the day decided he would rather stay home. It has worked out well for both of them. I do think though that the adjustment to college life will be easier for my first as she is already used to dorms and living away from home for extended periods of time.
Conversation with DD on Saturday:
DD “Dad, you know the second revisit to Andover was as much for you as it was for me.”
Dad “Not really. Why do you say that?”
DD “I know you really wanted me to go. I really wanted to love it. I didn’t love it but you did everything you could to help me figure that out on my own. I know that and you know that”.
At that moment I felt like our parent-child roles had been reversed.
Of course now I get to start the whole process over again as DS2 is in 7th grade and is chomping at the bit to attend BS in 9th grade. DS1 started in 10th, and DD would have as well. DS2 is a swimmer and I know mom (Peddie Alum) would love for him to attend Peddie.
@RedSoxFan18 - Your daughter sounds wise beyond her years. Kudos to you and your wife for letting your daughter drive the process as much as you did.