<p>I have a friend who recently ended a relationship that most of my friends and I thought would last the longest of any we'd seen amongst ourselves. </p>
<p>It was about 8 months.</p>
<p>My question is, since 15-18 are hardly the most sensible ages to find someone to be with long-term (if you don't believe me, look up stats on how long most high school-initiated relationships last past...well, high school), do you think it's worth it at all to have anything more than "friends with benefits" during high school?</p>
<p>Yes.<br>
What's the harm of doing something just for the fun of it?</p>
<p>It can have bad results if one person is more serious than the other, but if both people are in it just to have fun and live in the moment, with no regards to the future, then why not?</p>
<p>Right, but that's what I mean by friends with benefits. When I say relationship, I mean the whole lovey-dovey "going out" thing. If it's just for fun, that's just "hooking up" or something.</p>
<p>I personally don't see any point in it at all. But I'm sure there are plenty of people who thrive on being hitched. I just don't like all the senseless drama it creates.</p>
<p>My first relationship was during my sophomore year. It was definitely a "going out" thing and at first I was kind of apprehensive; my first thought was "sigh, this is inevitably gonna end with a breakup." But neither of us took the relationship thing too seriously, especially at first -- we were just like, "oh, cool, I have a new good friend and someone to... do romantic things with!" We weren't too obsessed with the "relationship" aspect of it but we weren't just "hooking up": our relationship was just about spending time together and really getting to know each other as people. It ended up lasting eight months (and yes, developing into the lovey-dovey thing) and we're still on post-breakup good terms. </p>
<p>It's not just "omg we're so in love and we're gonna get married and I'm gonna go suicidal if we break up" or "cool, I have someone with whom to make out at parties" (lol and I've experienced both) -- there's a LOT in between, and it's worth it.</p>
<p>Ehh, one of my best friends has been in her relationship for 3 years. Another just got out of a 3 year relationship. We're rising seniors. Most of my friends' relationships last at least a year. I think if they like each other and are willing to make an effort, then relationships are worth it. If not, hooking up is the way to go in this generation.</p>
<p>
[quote]
if both people are in it just to have fun and live in the moment, with no regards to the future, then why not?
[/quote]
These are my thoughts exactly. And there definitely is a "middle-ground" between no-strings-attached hooking up and like "we're gonna get married, I'm so in love!!!!!1!1!" And that middle ground is worth it in HS.</p>
<p>I thought the no-strings-attached hooking up WAS the middle ground. The extreme would be, for instance, a guy sitting in his room playing World of Warcraft and not talking to girls at all, for fear of contracting a CTD - communication-transmitted disease.</p>
<p>"Do romantic things" doesn't JUST mean hook up. I mean things like going out to a nice dinner, getting each other presents for holidays, sending each other "good night <3" texts, etc. And, you know, calling one another your "boyfriend"/"girlfriend."</p>
<p>Maybe what you consider FWB is a much nicer, romanticized version of what I think of it as. :]</p>
<p>I didn't really date in high school, but I'm not crazy about the OP's line of thinking- why should every choice we make have to be all about the long-term benefits? Sure, most people (though not all) aren't going to marry their high school sweethearts, but why should every relationship we enter have marriage as the long-term goal? Is there something inherently wrong with saying that you like someone and they like you, you both want to date each other, and whatever happens in the future isn't really a big deal to you right then? I don't think so.</p>
<p>It's high school. Do what you want- dating or not. Enjoy it. There's lots of time to think about marriage and whatnot once you've graduated.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I mean things like going out to a nice dinner, getting each other presents for holidays, sending each other "good night <3" texts, etc. And, you know, calling one another your "boyfriend"/"girlfriend."
[/quote]
</p>
<p>ok, now THAT is called a relationship. this "middle ground" you guys try to talk about still eludes my understanding.</p>
<p>
[quote]
why should every relationship we enter have marriage as the long-term goal?
[/quote]
</p>
<p>not quite what I was getting at, lol. but it's never a good idea to just not think about the long-term at all. that's why we do things like lie, steal, binge, etc.</p>
<p>Is that sarcasm? If so, it's deliciously true.</p>
<p>Why not think about the long-term? Why pussyfoot and beat around the bush (lol) if all you want to do is **** around?
Get a prostitute for that, don't go around defiling good men and women.</p>
<p>Yes. If you find somebody you like, why wouldn't you want a relationship with them? It's so stupid when people say "Oh, it's just a silly high school relationship." because those relationships do actually have people that care about each other. </p>
<p>But I digress. </p>
<p>It's what ever the two people want to do. Is it worth it if they want it? Of course. Should ALL high school relationships be long-term commitments? Obviously not because not everybody wants those, but some do. </p>
<p>I've been with my high school boyfriend for two and a half years and it's been amazing. I wouldn't trade it for the world.</p>
<p>as long as you don't become obsessed with each other and ditch your friends and school work. </p>
<p>and please don't go around saying how you're going to get married. It's funny when you break up 2 months later and have to throw away all your binders that say "I LOVE SO AND SO FOREVER AND EVER!"</p>
<p>I have found that most of the young people who thing high school relationships are meaningless feel that way because they haven't been in one.</p>
<p>I've been with my partner since I was a freshman (now a senior), and he has graduated and works full-time. I love him to death, and anyone who says that young people in serious relationships are silly or naive just hasn't been in a serious relationship him/herself.</p>
<p>I think they can be, and I think it depends on what type of mindset you go into it with.</p>
<p>My best friend dated probably like 10 guys her freshman year alone. She really just wanted a boyfriend to have a boyfriend, like probably 90% of high schoolers. Nothing really wrong with testing the waters, so to speak, as long as you're not spreading STDs or anything like that. Now she's almost 21 and has been with a guy for a year and a half (after freshman year she kind of settled down and had like three 9-month relationships before she started dating her current boyfriend). I think her dating around kind of helped her figure out what she wanted in a relationship vs. what she didn't and allowed her to now have the solid relationship that she has. I think that even though none of her high school relationships went anywhere, they were "worth it."</p>
<p>I was her opposite. I wanted a boyfriend, but I was picky. I wasn't going to date just for the heck of it - I wanted someone who I could really see myself staying with. I was fairly sure that wouldn't happen until college, if not later, so when I got into a really good relationship halfway through my senior year I was suprised. (I did date one guy my sophomore year, but he went to a different school and neither of us drove and it didn't work very well. We broke up after about three weeks. I was upset for like two or three days and then I was over it.) He was a freshman kid, nearly three years younger than me, who had never had a girlfriend before. Before we started dating we agreed that we didn't want to date each other just to do it. If we were going to date we were going to make it work, come hell or college (same thing as far as I can tell, actually). And so far, that's what we've done for the past two and a half years. Has it been easy? No way. Especially being at such different places in our lives. And we're totally different people, too. Has it been "worth it?" Absolutely. I would not change it for the world. Even if we broke up tomorrow, everything would have been worth it.</p>
<p>Relationships force you to grow and change as a person. My boyfriend has pushed me and challenged me and forced me to think in different ways over these past two and a half years and I've done the same for him. He was there for me when I had to repeat my senior year, and when I was attacked in my home, and when my dad passed away. He's been there as I've struggled with my shyness and anxiety and insecurity. I'm not the same girl I was when we started dating. (Thank God!) I still have a lot of growing to do, and sometimes I don't WANT to do it, but I do it anyway so that one day I'll be in the position to marry him and start our family. He told me the other night that he had no idea what he was getting himself into when he asked me out, but he "wouldn't change it for the world." I am incredibly lucky to have met him, I am incredibly lucky to be able to say that I am his girlfriend, and every second of this relationship has been "worth it" 100 times over. Anyone who would say or think that our relationship is any less valid or meaningful because we were young when we started it would be wrong.</p>
<p>I became to involved with an ex and was crushed when he dumped me, when I thought we were still sailin' smooth.
If you DO get into a high school relationship, you really have to keep your judgment and perspective straight.</p>
<p>So, if you can do that, then yes, it's worth it. If not, don't even bother.
I'm not, anymore.</p>
<p>idk, i think it's just isn't this what happens in college, and post college years? you go out, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. its not a waste, it helps you know what kind of person you are and who you click well with.</p>