Hey,
So I am completely new to this forum and I have come here out of panic. I came home for spring break this week and, to no surprise, the house is a complete mess. I come from a neglectful, broken family and I used to be able to put up with this stuff by ignoring it while I clean up behind others. But there are some things even an ocd neat freak can’t fix. Like roaches crawling out of ovens and bed bugs infesting all the furniture. The thought of staying here just for spring break makes me want to puke and the thought of staying here over the summer makes me want to simply die, which does not help the medication I’m currently adjusting with for anxiety. Here are my predicaments; if you have any advice, please share!
-Problem 1: Somewhere else to stay over the summer
-Problem 2: Not disrespecting my sensitive yet overbearing mother by not wanting to come home (I DO love her, just hate the home)
-Problem 3: Paying for rent in the event that I CAN find a place that will rent me out for 3 months (see problem 1)
Any advice would be absolutely lovely. I have until the beginning of may to figure this out.
I’m sorry about your circumstances, but there are many options for places to stay in the summer!
Usually college kids stay nearby where they work. You can sublet out graduate student's places, share an apartment on a 3-month contract, stay with friends/family friends, etc.
If you apply for out-of-town jobs and decide to accept one you can tell your sensitive mother that the commute is simply too far (oh darn!) but that you'll miss her.
If you have a paying job (not an unpaid internship) then you should be able to afford a place to rent. In the pricey cities it can be a bit harder and you might have to expect to share an apartment/commute farther, but generally finding housing is doable.
Where you want to work (state/city) is the main factor on all three of your problems. Most schools have some summer jobs they open up to students that also include free or reduced-rate housing. You could look into working at your school. If you’re pre-med/psych you could work in a lab at a college (it it’s unpaid look into working part-time for a lab and part-time for your school if they give free housing).
Basically: where do you want to work and what kind of jobs are you interested in? The answers to these would help get more specific recommendations.
As far as work goes I’m interested in anything I can get my hands on; I’m trying to find somewhere close to home to work/live so that I can still see my family and let them know that I care as well as still see my boyfriend who currently still lives with his parents (so that isn’t an option, unfortunately). Also, it is noteable that I can’t drive due to my anxiety problems aforementioned. There are two potential jobsites that may be hiring over the summer. I go to college 4.5 hours away from home, so staying at the college or somewhere near it is an absolute last resort as I wouldn’t be able to see my family or boyfriend.
Many summer camps offer free housing and a small stipend. I worked in a national park and though my housing came out of my paycheck I still made over 400/week. You can check out coolworks.com if you’re interested in learning more about these opportunities.
If your college has a career center then check out options on there. You could also try finding employment at closer colleges, companies, or staffing kids camps. The closer you are to home the more explicit you’ll have to be about not wanting to live with your parents though. If you don’t want to list the reasons from above you could simply tell them you think its time for you to experience the adult life of renting a place and living and working ‘in the real world.’
Do you have any girl friends at home you could stay with?
Are there younger siblings at home you could contact their guidance counselor/school nurse about the home condtions so they can get them help?
Camp out in back yard?
Your mother’s sensitivity is no longer your problem…you need to set up boundaries. “Mom, I am not sure you realize it, but our house is infested with bugs. I am not going to live in those conditions.”
of course that depends on who is paying for your college