Hey all! this is my first post on here i am just having trouble with this. I just finished my freshman year of college and it was so fun and i cannot wait to return. However, now I am in a weird predicament of being home for the summer. Not only am I bored with nothing to do, my mother also moved away with her boyfriend and I have been living with them, and it’s very strange. I hate being away from my college and my home friends, as they moved a decent distance away from both. I am very close with my home friends, as a group of about six of us have known each other since we were all born. One of their mothers just passed away recently as well, which has made being away from them just extremely difficult. I wish i could be with her helping her through this tough time.
i also have never liked my mothers boyfriend. I don’t think he’s a bad guy, we just have never vibed well together and j don’t like living with him. My mom has been a single mom for a long time too, and i miss living alone with her. We had some fun times and i like living with her alone and watching movies and eating dinners with her, we were like the Gilmore Girls honestly. she has also been much more harsh with me with him living with us, if i don’t clean something up she will get very mad which i sometimes think is him talking. It’s weird and I don’t like getting screamed at all the time.
On top of it all I had to take a job I don’t like. My mother was on my butt about working, and even though i didn’t want to work full time this summer she made me take a full time job. I’m very nervous to start it. Especially since all my friends live so far away from me now, it’ll be very hard to see them as i won’t be able to spend the nights when having such a demanding job.
I just don’t know what to do. It’s only been a week and I really want to go back to school. I hate living here.
This is a mom here. I’m really sorry you have had to come home to such a new, strange, and difficult environment. That would be hard at any age having to live in that type of situation. But I don’t really see that you have any options. I’m insisting that my daughter get a job this summer because college costs a lot of money and I feel that she should help with some of the burden. I worked full time every summer that I was in college because my parents weren’t paying for my education. We’re paying for most of hers, but I still think she needs to work to earn pocket money and for extra expenses, like fun outings with friends, etc. I still managed to have a lot of fun even though you’ll be working full time - you still should have some free time to do things with your friends if they aren’t too far away - you didn’t really say how far away they are though. If they are actually too far away to visit and still do your job, then, yeah, that sucks, but it is what it is. Look at it this way - you say that you loved school and can’t wait to return. In reality, this summer will fly by and you’ll be back to an enjoyable life soon so just try to do your best and not make things more difficult. Try to get along with your Mom and the BF. Hopefully you’ll make some friends at your job. Sometimes we go through tough spells in life. This is one of yours. I hope things work out OK for you this summer and that it passes quickly so you can get back to your friends.
My daughter is also home from college for the first time this summer, and we expected her to work full-time, also. It’s part of being an adult. The more you work, the more you’ll be away from home, too.
I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time at the start of your summer. I am having trouble readjusting to my home life after my first year away, and everything here at home is the same, unlike your home life.
I’m not sure what to say about the summer job. Many college students work during the summer - myself included. Will you be working weekends? If not, could you possibly plan a weekend with your friends?
I want to echo what LeastComplicated said - this summer will fly by. It may not seem like it now, but before you know it, you’ll be back on campus. Try to enjoy this time without the stress of schoolwork. You may wish it away now, but in the fall, you’ll probably be wishing for these summer months where you didn’t have to worry about assignments.
I know the pain of being away from your friends. I came back last Saturday, and I cried because I missed them all so much. It gets better with each day, however. Try to do things to occupy your time. The job will definitely make the summer go faster.
I’m sorry that you’re having a tough time. I’m a single mom, and my daughter and I are very close. Some of our friends have actually said that we remind them of Gilmore Girls! So, I can imagine how hard this must be for you. I do think it’s important to try to remain positive and make the best of the situation. I’m sure your mom missed you a lot when you went off to college, and she’s glad that you’ve made a happy life for yourself there. She needs to have a full life too, and can’t put it all on “Pause” for the summer when you’re home from school. Try to be understanding and supportive to your mom, and be respectful of her new relationship, remember that it is important to her! And clean up after yourself (that’s the one thing my daughter and I occasionally have squabbles about!).
FWIW, my kid has been working full time every summer and during school breaks since her freshman year in high school (she graduates in 2 weeks). The money she earns covers her cellphone bill, most of her clothes, and personal spending money for the school year. She also pays for gas when she drives my car, and pays for the difference in my car insurance cost since adding her to the policy. I’m a huge fan of kids having summer jobs and contributing their share, it’s important and valuable to learn responsibility, make your own money and cover your own expenses. Hang in there, and good luck with your new job! You’re a young adult now. You can do it!
I really feel you. I also worked a summer job I hated for several years of my life. I lost a lot of summers because of insane hours they made me work, and it was tough.
However, due to that I had extra money and was able to hang out with my friends and do more stuff during the school year. I know it’s weird to look at it that way, but try: you’re saving up now so you can have more fun with your friends once the school year starts. You’ll able able to eat out if you want, go on little trips if you want, etc. And you (hopefully) won’t after to worry about money as much.
Re: your mom and her boyfriend, can you have a chat with her about the way she’s been treating you? If you really are like the Gilmore Girls, can you have an honest conversation with her? Hopefully she understands this is a big adjustment for you, too, and can recognize that you may be upset at things changing. I’d try talking to her to see if you can work anything out/make her aware of how you are feeling.
See if you can live at one of your friends house for the summer and get a job near there.
thank you all for replying to me and giving me such great advice! I do wish to clear up one thing, i have had a full time summer job before! The reason I’m so upset about having one now is because I live so far from my friends that it will further prevent me from seeing them. My full time job at my hometown was the same, but I lived next door to all my friends so it was not an issue!
It isn’t ideal by any stretch, but people have lived through much worse. If you are in driving distance of your old hometown try to see if you can get there on alternate weekends or something like that. Maybe next year you can try to find a job on campus so you can stay at your college for the summer.
I think as a college student, there are not going to be very many jobs that you do like that you could get for the summer. You will get experience in working in a work environment, make money, give yourself something to do to stay out of the house, and maybe meet some people. Actually be kind of happy that you have a full time job and not part time with weird hours.
^Good point. My daughter has several friends who work retail and never have much advance notice of what or how many hours they will be working each week. What a pain.
it is a retail job! just full time, so the hours are very random and annoying. this week i work one day from 10-4, next day from 5-midnight!
Look at it from your mother’s point of view, also. She is trying to build a relationship with her boyfriend and you are off in a new life during the school year. But now you are home. She is sort of stuck and trying to make you both happy and no one wants to be alone. Be kind, work as much as possible for your fun money for school, and plan a few things with just your mother. This is precious time before you are an independent adult with a full schedule of things to do and another place to call home.
Do you have a friend you could live with? Some people’s parents are OK with some sort of rent arrangement. Maybe they have an extra bedroom and will ask for a couple hundred bucks a month which isn’t too bad
FYI - those 6- or 7-hour days are not really considered “full time”. However, those ARE some good hours to be away from home, make some money, and plan for an awesome sophomore year. Sometimes, things beyond our control work to kick us out of the nest. Be grateful for what you have now - you may be missing it at some point down the road.