I’m a second semester Freshman at a cute little liberal arts college that I love. I have wonderful friends and professors here. The first day of classes after break I hurt myself and the paramedics came, sending me into a panic. My mom came up the next day to check on me (I’m good, however I think I had a full blown anxiety attack). I’ve come home twice since then (one planned, one not so planned but necessary for new glasses) and yet every time I think of home or my mom, I feel like crying. My parents dropped me back off today and they left and now I want to go back home and never come back. I think it probably has something to do with the ambulance coming for me, but I was also homesick second semester of last year as well for a bit. I adore this school and everyone here and I’m holding a solid 4.0 GPA but I still want my mom to come back.
I’d see out counseling at the college. Since you are happy, engaged socially, and doing so well at college I expect it is something you can work though but it never hurts to talk things out with a professional. Some emotions were probably triggered by the ambulance/desire to be near mom when there was a problem.
I read a “Zits” comic strip today that had the son come in with frost bit fingers from the cold and he was complaining…
Mom: " Next time put some gloves on!" (she leaves)
Jeremy (son) " I was hoping more for “Poor baby” and some hot chocolate!":
I think we all feel that way at times.
We KNOW that things are going to be alright and know what we should be doing but just miss some familiar comforts.
It didn’t help that you had an experience that involved paramedics. That can be traumatic and you faced it on your own. It’s a big deal and can be overwhelming. But you survived and all is well–huge plus. Pat yourself on the back.
But…
Quit re-winding the experience through your head! Delete the instant rewind–push STOP.
Now hit DELETE. It’s over.
You only have a “forward” button to push. No other choice.
Now…when you think of home and mom…hear her say “next time put your gloves on”.
And then push the “forward button.”
Your mom and home will always be there. You can count on that. Fly a bit.
But now you need to learn how to “poor baby” yourself and get your own hot chocolate without waiting for mom…
You’ve got good friends, good professors, a good school.
You should go to the counseling center. It isn’t normal for a call to paramedics when you were hurt to trigger this much of a reaction. I know a student who had to be airlifted in a helicopter off campus after an accident (she was conscious), and she was back a couple weeks later after her injury with no lasting trauma for the evacuation. Go see someone – this level of drama over something that apparently wasn’t medically that serious shouldn’t derail your good experience at college.
I agree that you should try to see a counselor. But also keep in mind that many kids get homesick, even when they are happy at school! (Even if they don’t talk about it - many of your fellow students are homesick!) So it’s normal to be homesick, especially after a traumatic experience. Just find a counselor to talk to, stick it out, and soon you will be feeling better.
Anxiety is real and it’s frightening to deal with. Also, this illness makes change very difficult, especially with something as big as college. I actually think you’re doing better than you think. What you need to do is make sure you’re seeing a psychiatrist on a regular basis to make sure you’re on the right medication. You also should see a therapist to help treat the anxiety. You most likely will find this treatment at the health center. If not, there are clinics nearby.