I work in healthcare and deal with HIPPA restrictions. If a family member asks, I can often answer their question by talking in generalities, while not sharing specifics about their relative’s condition or care.
Even if FERPA applied to students not enrolled at a college, an employee could tell a parent about university policies, procedures and communication methods, without sharing specifics about a particular student. They could share the processes in place by which students can appeal charges. It sounds like that is what the housing director did.
This is standard practice at big schools. You are often asked to pay a deposit to “get in line” for housing even before you have been given your merit/financial aid package. So at that stage, attending the school is still a possibility. If you decide to wait until getting your financial aid package, you could end up at the end of the housing list and depending on how long that list is, you may not get on-campus housing. Most big schools do not have enough housing for everyone. So, putting multiple deposits down while waiting for financial aid info is not selfish it is necessary to ensure you have a chance at campus housing. It is also expensive for families - some deposits are $100 (non refundable). It would be nice if they could send the aid packages out before requiring you to deposit, but they don’t. There are a lot of deposits made every year, where students end up at other schools. It is a nice little revenue stream for the schools.