So I tried to start filling out the Housing Form that accepted and committed students just received, but I’m sort of hung up on a couple things. Thanks in advance for your help!
I have a pretty artistic/spontaneous personality, but my entire family has varying degrees of obsessive cleanliness. Basically, my room either looks like a bomb just went off, or like the cleanest, most organized space you’ll ever see. The clean phase lasts longer than the messy phase, and the messy phase usually only comes back when I have a big test coming up or a really busy week in other respects. That said, when I was at a summer program last summer, my roommate hated me for how obsessively clean I was and I hated her for how messy she was, so I feel like I should let people know that I can get aggressively neat, but not letting on how messy I can get would be dishonest. Should I check that I am both “unusually neat” and “unusually sloppy” and then check that I would be bothered by a roommate that is “unusually sloppy?” I want to make sure my suitemates don’t end up feeling like I was dishonest on my form if they are all pretty average and I’m a neat freak compared to them.
My last question was about the level of activity. I can’t decide between “A generally calm environment where traffic is limited during peak study hours but is more active on weekends” and “A spontaneously social space; neither a study hall, nor a regular hive of activity.” Basically, I read the four options as being 1) quiet 2) sorta quiet 3) sorta social 4) social. I’m introverted so I need alone time, but I love being able to come out of my shell whenever I need to to go crazy and have fun, since I grew up in a big family. That said, if I don’t get my alone time for some reason, my “sorta social” suitemates would probably start driving me insane. Is that more “generally calm” or “spontaneously social?” If anyone already at Yale could let me know how these options end up turning out (super quiet and boring? vs. way too loud), that would be super helpful.
I’m definitely checking “Often stay up late at night,” so that should hopefully make it clear that I’m more of an extraverted spontaneous introvert than someone who just studies all day and goes to bed at 9pm.
For reference:
Check those characteristics that apply to you:
Go to bed early (before midnight)
Often stay up late at night
Unusually neat
Unusually sloppy
Play music in room
Check those characteristics that would bother you in a roommate:
Goes to bed early (before midnight)
Often stays up late at night
Unusually neat
Unusually sloppy
Plays music in room
Which description most closely approximates your expectations for your suite?
A quiet zone used almost exclusively for studying, resting, and sleeping.
A generally calm environment where traffic is limited during peak study hours but is more active on weekends.
A spontaneously social space; neither a study hall, nor a regular hive of activity.
A vibrant social hub that other students visit throughout the week, with residents studying outside the room.
None of the above
As a graduate and a mom of a freshman, I would say just be honest. The sloppy/clean thing is not usually a deal breaker. As a freshman you will have a suite of 4-6 people, some clean and some not so clean. Biggest thing is agreeing to do the bathroom for those suites with in room bathrooms. My kid’s room is a disaster area at home but she manages in her communal room to stay within the bounds that her roommates can deal with. And, while she has never cleaned the bathroom at home, she does a good job when it is her turn at school.
Most important questions are study habits. Be honest about whether you are a night owl, or whether you like to study in your room or library (remember on those cold New Haven nights, studying in your room will probably be the best option). These are usually the deal breakers. You don’t want a roommate that wants to stay up all night while you go to bed early to rise at dawn and study. The partier/non partier, drinker/non-drinker may be important, but maybe not as much as schools that have more typical dorm layouts. The entryways on Old Campus (where freshman live) do not lend themselves to much running up and down hallways making tons of noise.
Trust me, even those students who are now saying they want to live in loud, rambunctious rooms will sing a different tune when work kicks in and partying will most likely be relegated to weekends.
The great thing is that the care that Yale takes in crafting each class carries over to how they put together their suites. And, though there are of course instances of when roommates just don’t like each other or mesh, I haven’t heard of too many horror stories this year.
Just so you know…Yale likes to pair people up with dissimilar interests/habits as well so that we could all learn from each other. Just because you check that you like a quiet environment does not mean you will get that.
@sunshine02 Really?! I got the feeling that they would want to pair up people with dissimilar interests so that we can all broaden our perspectives, but I guess I just don’t see the point of pairing people up with different habits on purpose. I mean putting a night owl and early bird together is more likely to cause unnecessary stress and conflict than new insights/learning for either party.
Freshman year, at another college, my daughter filled out her housing form by jokingly writing “I’d like a roommate who has an extensive wardrobe, wears a size 2 dress, a 7 shoe, and doesn’t mind sharing.” And she got what she asked for! Other than that, she and her roommates couldn’t figure out what common criteria the housing gods had used to pair them together. They finally came to the conclusion that they were paired because they lived on streets that had “water” names – Beach, Sea, Ocean. So, sometimes it’s kind of random in that way.
At Yale, you live in suites. For roommates, I’m assuming that they would pair you up with similar habits. But definitely your other suitemates will have habits very different from your own. My experience has been that there will always be 1-2 people at least in a suite of 6 who will have completely different living styles. But this is all a part of learning! And it’s not so bad…maybe I’m just rosy-retrospecting right now but after freshman year you get to pick who you want to live with!
Hold on there – please don’t assume – the freshman deans office often likes to mix it up. After all, they pair-up roommates year-after-year and eventually it gets tiring and they might want to have a bit of impish fun with “pairings.”
“Impish fun” oftentimes works out – it did in my daughter’s case!
FWIW, I read an article somewhere that suggested that most admitted freshman fill out the housing form with at least one parent looking over their shoulder – and very few students will actually confess the truth about their partying habits, drug habits, drinking habits, smoking habits, music habits, sex habits, homework habits, etc in front of their parents. So, sometimes “impish fun” works out better than putting roommates together based off of a few un-truths written in good faith because Tiger Mom/Dad is watching!
Whatever you put down, it’s really luck of the draw. Even somebody who, on paper, seems very compatible may notbe at all, as well as the reverse. Indeed, students often have big problems with roommates they choose. Mostly, it works out pretty well. So don’t stress about it too much.
The Master and Dean very carefully put together their suite combinations - though of course it is not an exact science. There is no way they are going to pair someone who says they like to go to bed early and get up early to study in their room with someone who says they are a late night person. Yale is very undergraduate centric and goes out of their way to make their experience enjoyable. I know this because when my D told the Master that she loved her suitemates and that they were staying intact for sophomore year, she stated that she knew they would get along when she matched them. Again, it is not an exact science but I know this year in JE there was not too much roommate drama.
I will acknowledge that some Masters and Deans put more into than others, but it would be counter intuitive to put a bad combination together so that they will have to deal with the fallout during the year.
I hope some of these answers were tongue in cheek. Also, I didn’t look at my D’s form and I suggest that no parent does. That way your kid can be honest. They are the ones who will have to live with these people for 9 months.
