<p>I just came from a meeting at our Middle School. I called the meeting to discuss a behavior issue with my S. Anyway, I called the meeting with the teacher and the guidance staff and when I get there all the teachers are in attendance as well as the principal. I start to panick until the doofy principal starts the meeting with - and I will quote - "Parents like you who think your kid has to go to Harvard are a real waste of my time." I was flabbergasted - I didn't even invite him!!! I was in shock and didn't know what to say - What would you have done???</p>
<p>What was your reply to the principal, and what did you do next?</p>
<p>Run for school board and fire the guy.</p>
<p>Not only would I be annoyed, I would go to the Superintendent of schools and lodge a formal complaint! The Principal acted in a totally unprofessional manner. I am not sure what the issue with S is, but it was extremely rude and judgmental of the head of school to make a comment that he did.</p>
<p>“Run for school board and fire the guy.”</p>
<p>Ah, if only it were that easy.</p>
<p>I admittedly have a short fuse sometimes. I would probably ask him what the hell he was thinking to make a remark like that and would inform him that he could explain himself now or he could explain himself to me when we meet with the superintendent. And I would mean it.</p>
<p>I’d guess that a lot of principals think this way and think that most parents are incompetent but they usually won’t convey this to parents. Some are so sure of themselves and their positions that they don’t care. Individual schools are like kingdoms.</p>
<p>I know that it really isn’t that easy but I work with one person on our school board, one person on the town council and used to work with another with a spouse on the school board and it is nice to have the ear of management a few steps away from your office.</p>
<p>I was totally stunned!! My S was acting out in class - very unlike him - the english teacher called several times and I wanted to pin down EXACTLY what was going on in class. He never acted this way before and I wanted to make sure it was superficial and not something more serious.<br>
The older more experienced science teacher assured me and the very new english teacher that he was exhibiting normal 14yr old boy spring shinanigans! I said nothing to the principal - I was sooo shocked! The gc walked me to my car - she was shocked as well - this principal is new this year - may be his last year if this is how he treats parents!!<br>
I am hoping with every ounce of my being that my oldest who is applying to Harvard - does in fact get an acceptance letter just so I can super glue it to that idiot’s windshield!! I work for the city police and I already warned them to be prepared to arrest me for vandalism!! hahah I am going to go compose a letter to the super right NOW!</p>
<p>Oh and I should mention…anyone who knows my S and has met him for more than a minute and a half or even looks at what he wears would know Harvard doesn’t have a chance over Notre Dame!!! hahahaha</p>
<p>What I would have done and what I would like to have done would probably be quite different. For the moment, you don’t want to set up (or feed into) an adversarial situation. You want them to be cooperative. If they arent, you can pull out bigger guns later. For now I might have asked him what was his understanding of the reason for the meeting, and what made him think this was about future college preparation? You could have then used it as an opportunity to clarify what your goal was in asking for this meeting, and that you appreciate his interest in taking the time to participate.</p>
<p>Wow, I am so sorry you had to experience that! It was completely unprofessional and downright rude! I work in a HS and understand that we sometimes get “those” types of parents that drive everyone nuts. It doesn’t matter. We still are expected to be professional and by all means the principal should ALWAYS be in control. You may not see this guy around much longer. I hope you let the superintendent know how you were treated.</p>
<p>I would also caution you to make sure that this impression hasn’t been given (I am not saying that you did) as sometimes it puts teachers on the defense (It’s all our fault if little Johnny doesn’t get into Harvard). Some parents who are just advocating for their child can sometimes overdo it a little and get way too involved. They tend to believe every twist and turn Johnny has put on a story and are rarely able to see the situation from another perspective.“These” parents take a inordinate amount of time to deal with and are often resented by the staff.</p>
<p>Again, I am not saying you did any of this or that you deserved that treatment in any way. I also can find no excuse for the principals behavior.</p>
<p>I’d probably feel inclined to remind him that it’s parents like us who employ him in the first place and therefore we are NOT ‘wasting’ his time. I’d make sure the remark he made got to his superiors. This guy should be fired.</p>
<p>I think you smile sweetly and say “Why ever would you say something like that?”</p>
<p>@mathmom: LIKE!!!</p>
<p>Take a breath, Kandjad. Your son has to go to this school every day. Even if the principal is rude and at fault, I don’t think it is in your son’s favor to go to heavy battle over it. </p>
<p>Do try to learn more about the classroom issues. It may be a kid that is bored, or there may be other things going on. (If you are lucky, it will be a simple situation like our math guy’s bold challenge to 8th grade math teacher’s proof. It was inappropriate behavior, and we had to lecture him about the rude way he handled it. By the way - it turns out he was right… just used the wrong attitude in class. Happily he didn’t repeat the mistake.)</p>
<p>Grrrr. </p>
<p>I would have looked at him, hesitated a minute to get everyone’s attention, and walked over to the door the the room, holding it open. I then would have said “thank you so much for coming. I’m sorry you took time out of your heavy schedule. Your teachers are perfectly capable of helping with my son’s issues and I trust them. I’m sure you do too, so we’ll carry on [hesitate again] without you so you can do whatever it is you do in your little office”. Then I would have signaled for him to leave. </p>
<p>(probably would have left off the last line, but it felt good)</p>
<p>OP, I’m baffled as to why you’re getting so much support on CC. We don’t know the full story. Share it with us.</p>
<p>What could have been so bad with a 14 yr. old behavior, that he couldn’t deal with the consequences on his own?</p>
<p>And if your 14 yr. old couldn’t deal with it, what could have been so serious that you couldn’t resolve it one-on-one with the teacher?</p>
<p>You escalated a situation by calling a meeting with the school’s staff. In practice it works the other way. The school calls and arranges the meeting. There are often consequences when you escalate situations outside the usual protocol. It’s not up to you as “who to invite”. No doubt it was the principle who was obliged to set up the meeting, and he’s the one empowered to decide who needs to attend. Who else would do that? And perhaps he was of the opinion that the situation did not warrant such an escalation.</p>
<p>You shouldn’t be annoyed … more likely humbled and apologetic.</p>
<p>A parent should be able to request a meeting. Thats BS that only the school can call. The principal is totally out of line.</p>
<p>I would have back-handed that guy. </p>
<p>In eight-grade (when I was a screw-up) my mom once had to go in for a meeting with my art teacher. She described it as an “ambush” lol. She said the art, home-ec, and technology teachers were all present. Fortunately this was my last year at that school before attending a prep, but boy did they tell my mom some nasty things. “You’re going to send him there! He’ll become a drug addict!” How tempted I am to send a letter to that art teacher with a copy of my UVA and ND acceptance.</p>
<p>"I start to panick until the doofy principal starts the meeting with - and I will quote - "Parents like you who think your kid has to go to Harvard are a real waste of my time."I was flabbergasted - I didn’t even invite him!!! I was in shock and didn’t know what to say - What would you have done??? "</p>
<p>First of all, the principal acted unprofessionally and needs to go back to school in order to learn how to deal with people. There is no reason–none–to ever talk to a parent like that.</p>
<p>Secondly, I am wondering about the background of the situation. Although I am not excusing his behavior, I am wondering what would cause him to bring up the Harvard situation? He knows your other son has applied there so he thinks your middle school son is going there, too?</p>
<p>Finally, although the principal wasn’t “invited” to the meeting, I would ask my principal to attend a meeting if I have had difficulty with a parent in the past, or if I believe it could be an adversarial situation. </p>
<p>It seems as though there might be more to this story than this isolated incident. Even so, I believe the principal was wrong and I would report it to the superintendent.</p>