I didn’t put limits on the kids–in fact, I suggested colleges that were out of their familiar zone–but after the two older ones both had health issues that made getting to them quickly a relief, I have hesitations about my youngest’s outstanding applications. But in the end, they have to choose the best school. I admit I’ll be happier if we can drive, and drive easily, instead of flying or driving the gauntlet of misery that is the I-95 corridor.
Be aware that with hard winters like this one and the one last year, depending upon the weather, flight schedules, and emergencies, the mix is less than optimal when the distance is far. Things can happen where coming home more often is essential.
A trick to use for beginning of year drop off and end of year pick up is to drive the student to school with a one way rental,early in the morning and fly home that evening. For schools within a 8 hour, maybe a bit more, driving distance away, it can save a hotel room, and some expenses and allow bringing things from home, and also compress time spent away from home. My DH was able to take sons/pick them up from college with his tight schedule this way as only one day was taken up. Lots of bonding and talk time on the trip, time to help move in/out and a dinner together, then drive to airport for a flight home.
Our first two both went out of state. They were four and then six hours from home. We could still do either one in a
day trip. My kids rarely ever came home outside of the Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break schedule. We would have been ok with the added cost of flights, if the total cost remained within budget. Our third child will probably end up in state, but even that will put him over four hours away.
We moved D to Boston in one day - took a 6 am flight out there, H and I returned that night on a 8 pm. Surprisingly easy (and I had wanted to fly in the night before but was overruled).
@ucbalumnus: I’m pretty sure my kids took the compass, drew that circle . . . and then decided not to consider any school inside it.
LOL SomeOldGuy, I think that is the same logic my two oldest used. My third decided for engineering there was no place like his home state after looking south, east and west.
Our perspective was there had to be a good reason why a school that required a plane ride was significantly better than a school that is within driving distance. A kid that wants to study film and gets into the film school at USC, probably worth the flight. We are on the east coast, so there is a huge range of excellent schools within driving distance. I didn’t see the need to add plane travel to an already expensive college bill. If money were not an issue, may have been different. None of my three pushed to go super far away, farthest probably 5-6 hour drive, so we didn’t really have to debate the issue.
My nephew realized after college visits it was a lot easier to get to Houston from DC than to Cornell. Direct flights are a nice thing.
We are a family that qualifies for significant need based aid, including the full Pell Grant.
I did not put any restrictions on my daughter due to travel costs. I just made sure she knew that the further away she went, the less often she would be able to come home. She picked a school over 1,000 miles away.
I think that I have only paid for two plane tickets and that was for winter break and Easter weekend in her freshman year. She is now a senior. She has figured out what she wanted to do and paid for it herself.
She did pick the best school for her. Due to some major lung issues early in high school, she needed a warmer winter than the Midwest usually provides. It is better for her to be alive and able to breathe than to actually see her.
When our son was a high school senior, I received a devastating health diagnosis. Not knowing what I would face during his college years, I gave him the 'attend a college within a three hour drive radius from home". There was much to chose from. Some he would not even consider applying to. A few were just outside that three hour radius that he once in awhile wistfully suggests he may have considered going to if given the option, but it is more of a joke because his choice worked out for him.
He ended up an hour away in a large city, which is what he wanted, as we live in a small town of about 5,000. He likes the experiences of both places. His college city also happens to be where my doctor is, although that is not why he chose to go to school there. But it worked out because when I’m there for appointments I can take him to lunch or bring him home for a weekend, ect.
My daughter didn’t want to be too far from home, but the schools that had her major (Music Therapy) that were within a 2-3 hour drive also cost $70K or were not really a suitable fit, so that just wasn’t going to happen. So our radius ended up being 10 hours or less of a drive away. The farthest school is 9 hours and 20 minutes, actually. The closest right now is 6.5 hours.
My son had some excellent scholarship opportunities at some schools he really liked that were quite the distance away. One really has to weigh the pros and cons. The distance can be an issue, no question about it. When my neighbor’s daughter got into a car accident, there were no flights out to Boulder, CO that evening and it took a while to get there, not to even mention the cost of getting two tickets right away. Had she been within even 12 hours of driving distance, the parents would have been their sooner and not as financially depleted.
As I mentioned, we’ve had some sad events at our house, as well as terrible weather, with kids needing plane rides to get here and back on any timely basis, These things can happen.
We live in the upper midwest. #1 didn’t much care what part of the country he attended college in. His apps ranged from Minnesota to New England. He attended UChicago. #2 wanted to attend college in a real city in the east. Her applications ranged from Kansas City and Savannah all the way to Maryland and Providence. She attended RISD, not quite the big city she was hoping for but she judged Providence to be a “real” city.
What this meant for travel was that we could drive 200 miles to my son’s college in about 3.5 hours, and we could drive 800 miles to my daughter’s college in about 13 hours (and we did, more than once).
Sadly, my son wanted CS. The state flagship was his safety. He wouldn’t consider UMiami, which is an easy drive, and also free for him. His 3 top picks were near major airports, so 3-5 hour flights didn’t matter so much.
He still says he’ll end up far away for career options. My friends have kids who moved here to SE. Fl, so they will probably be hands on grandparents. Aah well
My D1 is at a school 5 1/2 hours away. It was her first choice school and we did not give her any travel restrictions. She can travel to and from fairly easily on Amtrak and we can drive in one day if needed. My sister and BIL live in that same city so that is nice also. D2 (high school senior) has applied to 6 schools and we are waiting to hear from 5. The closest is a 3 hour drive, the farthest is 9. We are kind of hoping she doesn’t pick the 9 hour one (if accepted) but will figure it out if that’s the best school for her. She also applied to her sister’s school so that would be great logistically. We will see after March 31 I guess.
Miller514-do you feel that your restriction on your son going to college close by played a part in his decision to take a post-college job quite far from home? You spoke on another thread about that move. My ex’s parents put some pretty hard restrictions on him and I think that did play a part in where he lived from then on.
sseamom, do you have me confused with someone else? My son has accepted a job, where he is currently doing an internsip, in the city where he now attends college, an hour away, so he will not be far from home.
I don’t think a three hour drive radius is all that restrictive of criteria for selecting a college. Son could have gone to The Ohio State Universityn or WVU under those conditions, but chose not to. Attending a mid-sized university an hour away in a city of 350,000 compared to growing up in a town of 5,000 offers a wide range of experiences.There is a community college as well as a university within 15 minutes from where we live, and many parents around here push their kids to commute to one of them from home, or at least do a couple years there before transferring elsewhere. Son was having none of that, and it’s not what I would have wanted for him, either.
Both of Ds came up with what they called their “donuts”. Neither wanted anything within the city we live, however, the oldest wanted to stay within a seven hour drive and the youngest about a 5 hour drive. We have never given them restrictions except for how much we would contribute. The oldest definitely held to her donut. She wouldn’t even consider school further away and ended up about 3.5 hrs. from home. Youngest is a junior and we’re searching now. She pitches any mail from schools outside her donut.
miller514-I guess I do have you confused with someone else. I could have sworn yours was a post about your son moving far away for his post-college job. Also, I thought the restriction was ONE hour away. I shouldn’t post before I’ve had caffeine.
Sseamom, that’s okay…with all the news about identity theft, tho, I might have to look around the forum to see if someone is posing/posting as me! Maybe they can pay some of son’s tuition! Lol