Funny. It’s different out west. Limiting our kids choices to anything less than six hours drive from home pretty much limits them to our three state universities and a few really lesser known colleges. For us it was either in-state or far away, but distance from people we know definitely came into play. We didn’t set an absolute limit but seriously discussed the pros and cons of distance. There’s just more risk involved with sending a kid far away where you know no one. D ended up 3-4 hours away from home, via direct flight, but an hour on public transportation from family. Next kid doesn’t really want to be far away, and would need a compelling reason to go far. Same was true of the first one, but she found enough reason to go. Travel costs do add up, and we are having a fun time with the logistics of a summer internship in another part of the country as well. Harder to figure out dorm move out, summer storage, and travel on a very tight timeline after finals.
I didn’t limit my kids in terms of geography–it was their choice. Child#1 ended up 45 miles from home. Child#2 didn’t want to go to school in MA–she wanted to go out-of-state. Child#2 also wanted to be in a big city. She ended up outside of Philadelphia.
D ruled out one college she would have loved to go to because it’s too close to home. That’s the only way that geography really affected her college search.
Since I went 5,000 miles away from home to college we didn’t put any geographic restrictions on our kids choices. Two of them went 2,500 miles away from home (but we moved to within 100 miles while the 2nd was in college) and one went 1,200 miles away from home. None of them are living where they went to college right now, but then none of them are living where they grew up, either.
We didn’t put any restrictions as far as distance is concerned, although I did make it clear that it would be easier for my D if she picked a college that wasn’t too hard to get to (meaning, not 2 flights plus a long bus ride).
Well, for us, her true first choice school, which is 8 hours away, became her second choice school. And her second choice school, which is 30 minutes away, became her first choice school. I think being about 1-2 hours away is ideal.
We live in SoCal. D can fly to most major metropolitan areas of the country faster than we could drive to places like Chico State or Humboldt State. I guess it just depends on your perspective!
Our oldest (S) went to school 900+ miles from home. Our money was so tight during those years that he only ever came home at winter break and for the summer. On the upside, he met his (now) wife at school and she lived “only” 500 or so miles from campus so he spent the holidays that he couldn’t come home for with her family.
Our middle child (D1) went to school about 500 down the I95 corridor, gag! It took us anywhere from 5.5-9.5 hours to drive there when we needed to, but her flights between school and home were very short.
I think going away that far helped both of them become incredibly mature and independent. They learned how to navigate travel and organize their lives. They had no choice but to figure out things on there own because there’s no way mom or dad could swoop in to the rescue.
D2 is now deciding where she’ll go to school and one of her top choices is <100 miles from home. I think I have trouble picturing her “going away to college” there because she really won’t be going away. (They get some of the same radio stations on campus that we get at home!) For her, I haven’t decided if this school’s distance is a plus or a minus. I’m a little concerned that she won’t have the same necessity to be independent as her older siblings did, but the short drive (and no NJ Turnpike!!!) do have their appeal.
If you live in the east, it is pretty easy to impose the car ride rule. The kid will still have hundreds of colleges to pick from. The stats say that something like 85% of kids attend school within 500 miles of home.
I live out west, so the car ride rule severely restricts the available choices. So our alternate rule is that the school has to be in a location that (i) is a direct flight away (no connecting flights and puddle jumpers), (ii) is basically where the plane lands (so no 2 hour drive required after the flight) and (iii) is served by Southwest. The free bags and no change fees on Southwest make it soooooo much cheaper and easier than other airlines. So Dartmouth and Cornell are out. But Penn and Brown are fine.
One kid picked a school far away that complied with the Southwest rule and it was the right choice. Other kid picked our state U ten miles away; also the right choice.
Distance wasn’t a criteria for either s, but one made weather a condition. Drew a line on the map and said “warm weather”.
It may be less practical if the family finances mean seeking big merit scholarships for a student in the northeast.
My daughter goes to school in Wyoming. Her grandparents live in Denver so it’s 2 hours, and she’s enjoyed getting to visit once a month or so. Many of her friends who are instate live 6+ hours away. Still in Wyoming, but no way to get from school to home without driving. Many OOS kids live closer to the school than the instate ones.
Life in the west.
No top down geographic restrictions. Both kids love our home state and city but neither wanted to go to school here. They wanted some change and adventure. D had her own stringent restrictions based on states that she wasn’t willing to go to. It was politics and weather based and had nothing to do with distance. She ended up half a country but a simple 3+ hour non-stop flight away. S was looking very program specific and urban - all across the country. However, thanks to Alaska airlines new non-stops it looks like he may also end up just an Alaska non-stop away although 5+ hours rather than 3 (at either end of the Mississippi).
D does not come home for Thanksgiving and short breaks, but has plenty of friends to go home with. She even stayed there last summer and it looks like she will stay again this summer.
Well, I went to to the college that was across the street from my high school and continued to live at home, so pretty important. Rent is nearly 1/3 of tuition, so saving that is a big deal.
There’s west, then there’s WEST (we live in Hawaii). DS really wanted to go to school near a city, and not Honolulu - so we knew we were looking at some major plane trips, no matter where he went. We didn’t limit him, but he limited himself to the west side of the country. Ended up at the farthest school he’d considered, in Denver. He came home for winter break, but knew he’d have to make other plans for spring break, which he has (camping with a friend in CA). We would fly him for summer, but there are many more job opportunities there, so he may stay.
We miss him but know he has to live his life. Of course I would have preferred it if he’d ended up somewhere Hawaiian Air serves, but he’s so happy, and there’s always Skype. And we’re going to my nephew’s wedding in Colorado in August, so we’ll at least see him then.
If we hadn’t gotten really good need-based aid, the travel costs would be more of a problem, but as it is we just consider them yet another “paradise tax”. Overall we are very lucky. Of course, for many folks out here, school on the mainland is either out of reach, or means basically moving there for good and hardly ever coming back.
D followed SOG’s model but drew the state outline as well as the two hour circle. Schools had to be outside those lines. In the fall, she added in two in-state schools, but held off on sending in applications. When she received acceptances with substantial merit aid, she took the in-state schools off the list with my blessing. I’d rather she go for what she wants than stay close to home. The closest school is about 400 miles away, the favorite (for now) is around 800 miles away and then there are two on the other coast.
She knows that she will only be able to come home for winter break and summer break. I see this as a chance to visit another part of the country, wherever she goes.
One of mine did this too, but would only look at schools with cold weather. Philly was considered “too far south”!
Criteria #1 for my D. for selecting her college and Medical School.
In fact, she refused to apply beyond the distance of about 5.5 hours of driving.
However, she did not consider the difference in distance between schools that are 2 hrs or 4 hrs away.
She is almost done with Med. School and still says that she loves to visit at home. It has been very important for her to be close and a great contributing factor to her success. She was pretty stubborn about choosing school by location and did not listen to advisors while ranking did not play any role in college selection, but was a minor factor in choosing her Med. School.
I wanted to be as far away from my home as possible. I had my admissions in hand on the “other” coast, but after some visits, ended up only about half-way across the country. The academic resources and fit of my midwestern campus of choice made sense to me at the time. Certainly costs also played a role; I didn’t like the idea of paying OOS tuition for some other flagships that approached the cost of one of the privates I was also admitted to. Given the costs today, both flagships and some top privates, I might well have chosen differently.
Most of my good friends stayed on our original coast, though a few did make it out further.