How can I get my parents to let me go to the college i want?

<p><op, you="" have="" no="" possible="" way="" to="" afford="" penn="" state.=""> </op,></p>

<p>@intparent‌ Technically, @GMTplus7‌ is correct. ROTC appears to be active at Penn State. I am not sure it is worth that amount of sacrifice, but there is a way.</p>

<p>To the OP, Most kids have to narrow down from 20-30 schools. You are the rare student with the opposite problem. There are something like 3,000 universities in America. Some will have merit aid. There are also other public schools in New Jersey. You’ve attached to Penn State without really seriously giving the rest of the country a second look.</p>

<p>@thatbigh:</p>

<p>I would not recommend that course of action.
Are you a teenager? Maybe you have doormat parents, but most adults would not look kindly upon deception by their kids.</p>

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<p>This student is out of state. Penn State is not going to give them any need based aid. And that is terrible advice to apply anyplace these dates without running the net price calculator.</p>

<p>i do agree that ROTC is the one way the OP might be able to go to Penn State. </p>

<p>How many of you commenting know what the OP’s personal financial resources are? He or she might well have a trust fund or college savings account that is large enough to pay for four years. If the issue is a question of leaving home, it is one that will bedevil this family continually. Parents who can’t let go for college won’t do so for graduate school, or job offers at a distance, or moving into an apartment. If the OP can manage college on his or her own, I say do it. Parents love their children, and most will come around eventually. If they don’t, it will be heartbreaking for everyone but it was their decision to build that wall.</p>

<p>^ yes. I think many of us assume the ‘normal’ situation, but fail to realize that some kids have trusts from grandparents or other means that are not tied to the parents. Maybe he has a talent that has earned him a lot of money on his own already.</p>

<p>I agree that you need to work on your relationship with your father. You are no longer 10. As a dad of a recent graduate, I can tell you that our relationship has changed a great deal over the last 4 years. Talk rationally with your dad. Don’t get defensive and argue, just listen to his reasoning and explain your position. You don’t have to agree with each other, just understand each other. It may surprise you to find out that he knows things that you do not know yet. Maybe he understands that you can go into Business with a Science degree, but not so likely to go into Science with a Business degree. Perhaps he is just trying to keep more options open for you. If your parents are still together (or are at least somewhat close) he already knows. Shocker here, but parents share things with each other.</p>

<p>I am a big fan of Penn State as a great school, but you really need to compare that versus the cost and whether it is x dollars better than Rutgers. If you are not concerned with the finances, you are too immature to be in college at all and need to consider maybe a short stint in the armed forces to grow up first. Even if you are a personal billionaire, that money will not last if you are not mature about how you spend it.</p>

<p>I always enjoy playing the devil’s advocate, so I will suggest a different tactic. OP could discuss compromise of attending Rutgers as a residential student, not a commuter. I live in NJ, but I sent my kids to a private school in PA, and so I’ve had direct exposure to the “grass is greener . . .” syndrome: lots of PA kids envied my sons for having Rutgers as a flagship university, considering it much “cooler” than Penn State, whereas local Jerseyans consider Penn State much more prestigious. New Brunswick is a much more cosmopolitan place than State College, with easy rail access to NYC and Philly, and a cultural life of its own. OP might try to promote Penn State by citing its job recruitment and placement statistics, though, which are among the highest of any college. I would take Rutgers, personally, for the reasons mentioned above, but I also believe that every student who can afford to go away should do so. I am prejudiced in that regard. I went away to boarding school at thirteen, as did my husband. We sent our kids away. Most Americans believe that is too young, but I cannot imagine remaining at home full-time as an adult if your financial circumstances do not require it. </p>

<p>I had somewhat of a similar situation as you… I was living in Ohio and I wanted to go to school in Mass (I lived there up until high school). My dad was pushing me to stay in state due to finances, but he knew how much I wanted to get back to New England. I ended up taking on the financial burden of going to an OOS school. My dad also wanted me to major in nursing, while I wanted to major in entertainment management. I ended up majoring in marketing because I could go into an entertainment field if I so desired, and my dad was happy. However, when I realized marketing wasn’t for me we argued about my major change. I wanted to switch to English (journalism concentration). There were many arguments over this because he was worried about me finding a job after graduation. You can only listen to your parents so much. Once you’re at school they can’t really stop you from choosing the major you want, unless they threaten to stop paying for school of course. Luckily in my situation that wasn’t the case and I followed my heart and switched to the major I wanted. Take the risk and go with the major you want. You’ll be much happier in the end. I was very happy in my major and I ended up proving my dad wrong and found a job in my field after graduation. Good luck to you! </p>

<p>If i was worried about prices i would have asked another question. All of you aren’t answering my question. Put the money issue aside please.
I worded my last reply wrong. Honestly no matter what college i go to my parents will be paying for. They never let me pay out of my own pocket. Even though I want to go to college they dont want me to, they aren’t going to say that i have to pay for it on my own.
None of you understand my dad. He’s super strict and anytime this discussion comes up all he does is yell. He has a loud voice and he always wants things his way. Once he starts yelling i just nodd my head to everything he says so he thinks he’s right. I’m to scared to tell him how i feel and what i want. </p>

<p>And my dad’s not worried about money either. He says that money doesn’t matter too much when it comes to education. But my limit for tuition is $30,000. I dont want to go to a school that costs more than that. </p>

<p>PSU would cost more than that. But you still haven’t found out why he doesn’t want you to study business or why he wants you to go to RU. If you can’t ask him directly, ask your mom to ask him. Can you do that?</p>

<p>It’s a pity that your parents don’t want you to pay for anything. It seems that they actually want to keep you infantile.</p>

<p>It seems that your dad doesn’t understand that if he acts immaturely, he’s going to suffer the consequences.</p>

<p>As a business person, I would look see Rutgers and Penn State being somewhat equal in the quality level, size, big sports, etc. However I would see Rutgers as around $29,000 and Penn State as $45,000 for Cost of Attendence as a NJ residence. For four years, that is a $60,000 difference for no difference in quality. </p>

<p>He may not want you to study business because he may see the quality of students from some business schools or thinks that you have shown interest in other area or he might think you shouldn’t limit yourself to business or he knows the salaries of entry level business majors. </p>

<p>So if I wanted to go out of state, I would have to show why it is better or how you could pay for the difference through scholarships/loans/etc. And then think of future you with $60000 in loans saying “Was it worth it?”</p>

<p>I’d rather not guess. The father seems immature/insecure, so I’m not going to assume his reasons are rational.</p>

<p>This is obviously a troubled family, with problems that anonymous strangers on the the Internet are unqualified to address.</p>