<p>We bit the bullet and allowed our child to attend his Ivy dream school when he gained admittance last year- it is not easy financially, but after much discussion, we decided that it was the best school for him and he worked so hard during high school to make that dream a reality. Yes, he could have gone to the State U, yes, he could have attended some other schools and received merit scholar money and all those things were difficult to pass up...but he was a kid with a passion for learning and a desire to be surrounded by the intellectual atmosphere that this school afforded and in the end, we said "go with your heart" and we are in a position to make it happen, although not with a lot of sacrifice. Every family and every child is different- you have to do what is right for your situation. I always tell people- "don't let them look anywhere that you wouldn't be able to send them..." we let him cast his net wide and when the top school acceptances rolled in in April, we knew that his options were overwhelming. He is in the right place for him and we have no regrets...but again, its what works for YOUR family.</p>
<p>In response to the original question, I would encourage you to explain the financial realities to your child. This is what my parents did when I was looking for a school. I was offered a full ride at an in state school and half tuition at an out of state school. I was also offered about $33,000 in scholarship money at a liberal arts school I was interested in attending. I knew I would be happy at any of the three schools as they were my final three choices. </p>
<p>My parents sat me down and talked about finances. Although I grew up in a middle class family, my parents did not have thousands of extra dollars lying around each month. Also due to my middle class family we didn't qualify for any need based aid. The in state school was obviously the cheapest option. The out of state school was next and the liberal arts school came in third. My parents could not afford to take on additional debt at that point in time. They explained the options to me very clearly. Attending the liberal arts school would require taking a part time job during the school year as well as working in the summers to help with expenses. It would also require me taking out loans. Attending the out of state school would require me to work but probably no loans. I could attend the in state school and focus solely on my school work because they could afford to pay for my living expenses. This is what was financially feasible for them at the time.</p>
<p>Knowing this information, I was able to make an informed decision. They never pushed me in one direction or the other but gave me the information so that I could make my own decision. I chose the in state school and it turned out to be a great decision for me. I was extremely happy there and satisfied with my college experience. I also think that this conversation set a really good example for me for future financial planning. It showed me how to evaluate options (for houses, cars, etc.), decide what it is I really need, and then choose the best option for me financially.</p>
<p>I was looking at campusdirt.com and found the demographics of student population by family income to be interesting at highly rated LACs with little or no merit aid. There seems to be two bands in which the number of students is smaller than the others. The first is at a lower income and the second for family incomes between $125,000 and $150,000.</p>
<p>Swarthmore
SUDENT'S FAMILY INCOME
$0 - 25,000 8%
$25,000 - 50,000 0%
$50,000 - 75,000 23%
$75,000 - 100,000 15%
$100,000 - 125,000 15%
$125,000 - 150,000 0%
$150,000 - 200,000 15%
$200,000 + 23%</p>
<p>Princeton
SUDENT'S FAMILY INCOME
$0 - 25,000 0%
$25,000 - 50,000 12%
$50,000 - 75,000 8%
$75,000 - 100,000 19%
$100,000 - 125,000 12%
$125,000 - 150,000 4%
$150,000 - 200,000 8%
$200,000 + 38%</p>
<p>Yale
SUDENT'S FAMILY INCOME
$0 - 25,000 3%
$25,000 - 50,000 19%
$50,000 - 75,000 3%
$75,000 - 100,000 28%
$100,000 - 125,000 17%
$125,000 - 150,000 3%
$150,000 - 200,000 14%
$200,000 + 14%</p>
<p>nvdad - that is data for students responding to their online site - not the colleges' own demographic data. Swarthmore, for example, has 52% of its student body not receiving any need-based aid. Yet, according to the above, only 38% of students have incomes above $125k. (My d's college show ZERO students above $200k, which is obviously not true.)</p>
<p>nvdad, what income is that? AGI or gross or another?</p>
<p>"what income is that? AGI or gross or another?"</p>
<p>None of the above. It is data submitted by the relatively small number of students on the site, most of whom wouldn't even know what an AGI is.</p>
<p>consider asking her is she's really willing to take on student loans for the difference. if she is, the 30k school is worth it to her and you can help as much as possible. if not, why spend the money?</p>
<p>It's great that so many families have lived below their means (we did, too) and can afford the full COA (we couldn't). It certainly is an act of love and a luxury. But college is only a few years out of a lifetime. It can't be worth risking our retirement security. And I think it's reasonable to expect our students to graduate with the ability to make enough income to pay their debts and to support themselves. For us, it is not okay to spend $200K on education and not get a decent job. Kids who are in this situation will never be able to offer the same benefits to their own children. I vote for a dose of practicality to go along with the idealism. Of course, as it has been said many times, it really is a family decision.</p>
<p>I look at it this way. Our generation of "professionals" have needed at least a BS or masters.</p>
<p>Todays kids are going to need at least a Masters and perhaps more.</p>
<p>We can't think of college as 4 years X $50K = $200K. (In today's dollars)</p>
<p>We need to think of college as 6-8 years X $50K = $300-$400K (again in today's dollars).</p>
<p>For these reasons it's not unreasonable to expect that the "recipient" of all this education will be making a handsome income and will be able to "pay back" some/most of these expenses. </p>
<p>Afterall, FEW of us had parents supporting us and our college expenses into our mid to late 20's.</p>
<p>(My husband and I paid for all of our college expenses - 2 degrees each)</p>
<p>Here's that Suze Orman article again. Someone else had a link to it in another thread that got deleted within the last couple of days. I think it's thought provoking. Education has always been the number one priority in my family's value system too. I fully support those who make sacrifices in order to give their kids every opportunity in life. However, that should never be done at the parent's ultimate expense. This article reminds me of the flight attendant's often repeated reminder to put the oxygen mask over themselves before helping those around them . . .</p>
<p><a href="http://biz.yahoo.com/pfg/e33college/%5B/url%5D">http://biz.yahoo.com/pfg/e33college/</a></p>
<p>We wanted our children to feel invested in their education so we told them they are responsible for 1/2 the cost. We also told them that any scholarships earned would come from their 1/2. Our oldest D was torn between 2 schools that were essentially the same cost. When she was offered $11000 merit award at one she realized that she would then have very little debt if she chose that school and that helped her tremendously.
My H and I would probably have paid more than 1/2 anyway, but we wanted her to be proctive in applying for scholarships , etc. We feel that making informed choices and decisions based on reality ( cost is always a factor) will prepare her for life better than a "money is no object" view.</p>
<p>If my child is accepted to two relatively "equal" schools, but one is much, much cheaper (say 50 -75% less) then I would say that I will pay for the lower amount and if he wants to go to the more expensive one then he'll have to pay for the difference himself. Wouldn't we do that with all kinds of choices? If child was picking between two cars of equal quality and equal "bells and whistles" but one car cost 3 times more, wouldn't we steer the child away from the pricier car? Wouldn't we say, I'll give you the $XXXX for the Honda, but if you want the Mercedes, you'll have to come up with the difference?</p>
<p>roshke, thanks for the Suze Orman links. I am a big fan of her's and think her advice on college financing are spot on. A parent's job is to not only financially support our children but teach them life lessons.</p>
<p>We could have easily financed our DS's education without breaking a sweat, though I am not certain he knew how easy it would have been. But by creating a UGMA of $76,000 which would be his at age 21 and by making him responsible for tuition, books and spending money, he has been taught many valuable lessons.</p>
<ol>
<li>Hard work pays off. Hard work in school and hard work researching colleges resulted in big merit scholarships.</li>
<li>I am responsible for a very important investment in my future and I had better take it seriously.</li>
<li>Sometimes I will be confronted with a choice between what I want and what I can afford. And if I choose carefully sometimes I can accomplish both.</li>
<li>I can do this and then some! Because of choices HE made he will grauate with $50,000+ in the bank to do with as he pleases. Quite happy about that.</li>
<li>He is learning the reality of saving and investing. </li>
<li>He is learning the benefits of living beneath ones means, deferring short term pleasure for long term benefits and the freedom of choice that gives to one's life.</li>
</ol>
<p>Garland did your son not "really need" braces because his teeth were only marginally crooked, or did you forgo needed braces in favor of saving the $3000? </p>
<p>My mom had to take part-time job to pay for braces and my sister's medical expenses, but when I smile she tells me it was worth it. Sorry I seem silly, but since our family lives similarly to the way you described, that just stood out to me.</p>