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Whoa, I can't believe that so many MISREAD my post number two. I didn't say that it would be crazy to attend an ivy or private school over a decent state university. I said, "it would be crazy to incur large debt attending an ivy school over attending a decent state university." I stand by the statement!</p>
<p>Yes, I do know that many of you have had kids who have had wonderful experiences at ( insert any private school name that you wish). However, how do you know that they wouldn't have had the same experiences and opportunities elsewhere? Also, if you had an extra $120,000, wouldn't that money been put to good use for a better retirement, graduate education, house for your kids etc.?
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<p>You see, you are making a value judgement on how else to spend the money......either for a different school where one can also get a good experience or else retirement, grad school, house for kids, or something else. I understand that YOU feel differently than some of us and that's OK. We each make value judgements when spending our money or even going into debt for something. For my husband and I, there is nothing we'd rather put money into than the kids' college educations and their going to the school of their choice that they feel is a very good fit for them (not a "better school"). I prefer to spend the money on that than most anything else. I was given these opportunities myself and want to pass this gift onto my children. </p>
<p>You ask how we know they would not have had the same experiences and opportunities elsewhere. For one thing, I believe a very good education can be had at many different schools, both public and private. My kids' schools are not "better" or "best" but I do believe each found the perfect match for herself. I am pretty sure there are some other schools out there that would have been good for them too....after all, they each applied to and were admitted to quite a few others that they liked enough to apply to. But even if a good education could be found elsewhere (which I do not doubt for a second), the experience would have been different as each environment is different. One can be a success coming out of all sorts of environments and so that is not the issue for us. But the fit is the issue. And there are lots of places where my kids could not have had as good of a fit or had similar experiences.</p>
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Frankly, I believe, and statistics and studies tend to show this, that the education received at a good state university with decent programs in the student's major will provide the same opportunities as that of the expensive private school.
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<p>You can get an excellent education at a myriad of schools, including state ones, no question. What you are failing to weigh is what some of us are discussing here and that is the total experience (not simply how good the teachers or classes are or how successful you can be upon graduation or how much money you stand to earn). </p>
<p>I'm gonna give my own two kids as examples. </p>
<p>Oldest daughter....was (still is) a top student....val and all that jazz, who exceled academically, was highly motivated and driven, and was involved in many lifelong ECs and exceled at those as well. While she had no plans to apply to state U (UVM) as it was not a good fit for her (but is a very good school), she was offered a full ride. She went to Brown. I believe her experiences at the two places would be radically different and it was worth the difference in price (even if her chances at success are equal). For starters, she grew up in VT and wanted to experience a different type of setting and Brown was urban and she spent 18 years in a rural environment. We are glad she got to have a different experience. She craves challenges and the experience of being with other highly motivated students affected the learning environment. She experienced in some capacity the type of students at UVM by going to school with them and I can tell you it was night and day with her experiences at Brown. The stimulation from the other kids was a huge part of her experience there. Each person is doing something that just blows me away and their level of involvement both academically and in outside activities mirrors her own (not so locally). My D also wanted to major in architecture in a liberal arts setting. UVM doesn't offer that and Brown does but that is not a strong department at Brown but sufficed. My D rose up to be a leader in that dept. at Brown and won their top award at graduation. She got to be a TA and much more. Brown has an open curriculum which she loved. UVM doesn't. Brown allows for independent studies. My D wanted to ski competitively in college and she would never make the UVM ski team as it consists of some of the top national racers in the country, some even on the Olympic development team. She would never give up this lifelong activity and was able to ski for a very competitive team at Brown and loved it and it was a big part of her experience there. At Brown, she went to school with kids from all over the country and all over the world and that would have not been as much the case at UVM which is not nearly as diverse as Brown and it was all part of her experience. I could go on and on but am convinced that Brown fit my D to a T and that UVM would have been a fine education but not nearly the kind of experience that she needed and craved and thrived in that she had at Brown. The people she met there have influenced her life a great deal. I feel she also was looked upon favorably by grad schools and had a very successful grad school admissions outcome. </p>
<p>My other kid applied to very specialized degree programs that are highly competitive, BFAs in Musical Theater. She is now in her senior year at one of the top ones in the country, NYU/Tisch, which was a lifelong dream for her for years. I believe there are many other very fine BFA programs and she got into many of them. But this school has fit her perfectly. Many BFAs are not located in universities that are that academically selective, even though the BFA programs themselves are highly selective. But while artistically talented, she also is intellectually advanced and wanted a more challenging academic setting with a BFA in MT, and there are not alot that fit that description or that have as much liberal arts as part of the BFA degree as NYU/Tisch has. She is challenged by the level of talent of her peers there and would not want to be the top kid and would prefer to have other students who possess her level of motivation and talent in her learning environment. The opportunities she has been afforded at NYU include some that would simply never have happened at some other BFA programs. There are faculty and directors she has come in contact with there that are not like those at some other fine BFA schools. She has been given chances to work professionally and to musically direct and perform in NYC in various capacities while in school. She is networking with the industry and people in the city and having some very great opportunities. After graduation, she needs to live in NYC to hit the audition circuit and she is already embedded in the life in NYC. At NYU, D was also selected as a Tisch Scholar and was able to travel on two trips for free with them including one to Brazil, which I don't think she'd have at another BFA program. She has been able to take on many leadership roles there which maybe she could have at another school, I can't say. Tisch also has many studios and one can have the opportunity to experience more than one studio approach over their four years and my D has chosen to do that and she did five semesters in CAP21 studio (musical theater) and is doing 3 semesters in Experimental Theater Wing (an acting studio) which she could not have done at any other BFA school. Further, my D wanted to write, produce and perform in her own musical which she will be able to do in ETW studio and could likely not have done in any BFA in MT Program at any other school. I could go on and on but I believe that the experiences she is having are specific to her school and that she found her perfect fit and is making the most of what is offered there. She could have gotten a good education elsewhere, that's true. </p>
<p>But we find it priceless to have our kids find schools that match them this well. I don't care if another school may have been cheaper. Frankly, EVERY school my kids applied to was about as expensive. Both my kids received financial aid which also brought the price down. And yes, we are in debt for their educations and also will be for my older one who is in a 3 1/2 year grad program at MIT right now. We have chosen to not have our kids take out any debt for their education and so the issue of debt is for us alone and not them. Sure, I could have something else for the money but there is nothing else I would want but what I have chosen to spend it on and go in debt to pay for than their education. And it has nothing to do with the "best" education but simply the "best one for them." They luckily found that place.</p>