How Depressing Is This

<p>I don't want my point (picked up from Ben Jones at MIT) to be missed. Just as you and any loving mom thinks your son is special--I agree--so are a lot of colleges special. Standing out in a way that makes a kid a good fit for Columbia (a college you mentioned) or MIT (where Ben works) is RARE, but there are a lot of good kids who get into perfectly good colleges. Reading through this whole lengthy thread, I think the guidance counselor at the high school was being commendably honest with you: your son qualifying for the [url=<a href="http://www.unl.edu/amc/e-exams/e7-aime/aime.html%5DAIME%5B/url"&gt;http://www.unl.edu/amc/e-exams/e7-aime/aime.html]AIME[/url&lt;/a&gt;] exam does NOT make him a standout in math among applicants to Columbia, even though it is an honorable achievement. </p>

<p>I'm sure Marite, who has been around the block on these issues as a parent, is correct in surmising that you are of two minds about your son's situation. As you find him in 10th grade, you can choose to be content with the way he is, or you can push and press and try to make him different. In either case, he will grow up and move out in a few years (yeah, that's never easy for parents either, even though it is a sign of a child attaining maturity) and then come under other influences. It was the thread title you chose, and the cursory way some of your son's "stats" were summarized, that had me puzzled. There is nothing to be depressed about here. Your son will get into a good college, in the same sense of "good" that he is a good student.</p>

<p>Loosecannon. I have an extroverted, passionate-about-education sophomore daughter in college, and a more introverted, laidback, intelligent-but-not-driven sweet, wonderful HS junior son. I have grappled at times with the ideas of parity (how to provide equally, yet to meet needs) of both kids, and how hard, or if, to push him outside of his comfort zone. I guess I made my choice to let it go, and to let him be who he is. He has a very good class rank, will have good test scores, but there will be nothing in the way of leadership or passionate activities, or teacher's gushing about "best student" ever. AND THAT'S OKAY!!!! He will make the world a better place, he will have a good college experience, and he will be successful. (I did manage to get him to join the Spanish Club. Woohoo!) What message are we sending our kids, if we say that they are not good enough being who they are? And not allowing them to follow their own "bliss"?</p>

<p>
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This is about my consternation that this very special kid (at least, to me) doesn't seem to be special to anyone else (that's an exaggeration .. he's special to everyone who knows him. But you know what I mean).

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I thought that too about my daughter -- but I was mistaken. Very big, happy surprises in fat envelopes this week.
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When he comes home from camp, he pursues an interest. He taught himself high school math when he was in middle school. This summer, in lieu of taking a formal physics course (we are following the advice of the GC), he plans to teach it to himself.</p>

<p>I was thinking: why doesn't this "stand out"?

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It does, it really does. You just have to MAKE it stand out when it comes to college admissions. Find the colleges that are a good fit & TELL THEM. The kid tells them in the essay, and in the activities sheet, and in the question that most college apps have for "any other" information deemed pertinent. The kid gives the guidance counselor a list of "be sure to mention" items, and provides teachers with a few bullet points as well. It works. It really does.
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His GC says this doesn't make him stand out. She wants him to do an INTEL project next summer.

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She is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. I don't care how good she was and how much she helped your daughter -- she is just guilty of inside-the-box thinking. </p>

<p>Last spring I asked for advice from a well-known private college admissions counselor who has written 3 books and charges a bundle for consultation. I wanted to know whether my daughter's trips to Russia would be a hook at top schools, despite her mediocre test scores (SAT 1210). I was advised that Barnard & Wellesley were very strict about scores and that my D. shouldn't bother to apply unless SATs were at least 1400; Bryn Mawr & Middlebury were suggested as alternatives. </p>

<p>So I admit that I was a little bit surprised when the big fat envelope arrived from Barnard this past Monday. Your son's gc may not see him as "special" -- but that doesn't mean that others won't. The main thing you should take from this -- as I did from the advice I got -- is that you can't be lax about putting the application together. Your son does not need to enter contests or win awards -- my daughter doesn't have any formal awards or honors. But you do need to blow your own horn-- especially if the g.c. doesn't quite get it.</p>

<p>Congratulations on your daughter's acceptance to Barnard! Its a fabulous school in a fabulous city. She will love it. (Just be prepared to send a lot of money :-( !)</p>