I’m starting college Fall 2018, and I’m a low-income student. I joined a Facebook group for my potential future college, it’s a Big Ten school, and everyone who’s posted so far appears to be very wealthy. I feel like as a female, I will also be held to a higher standard (in terms of clothing and all that), which imo is unfair but it’s a fact of life that I’ve discovered while attending a high school in a wealthy, majority-white area. How do I deal with this socially?
Furthermore, does anybody have any money-saving tips for college?
In college what you wear is not like it was in high school. It is not a fashion show, especially at a large state flagship. It will be up to you to find your crowd.
You will be fine with a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt with a badger on it.
There are many poor college students and they get jobs to pay for their social life, books, get a library card, go to events that are free (and sometimes have food for free).
When I was in college and wanted to go to concerts, I worked for Program Council which got me into movies, concerts, a lot of free t-shirts. My daughters are at schools where almost everything is free with a student ID.
Don’t pay attention to the Facebook posturing or bragging… You will find your tribe – folks who won’t judge you by what you wear or don’t wear. The beauty of big schools is just how many different crowds you will find there, and the nearly limitless opportunities to make friends. Yes, you’ll find some cliques (the Greek scene is one) but college isn’t high school. (Thank God!)
I covered speeches for the school paper. They paid by the article, the events were interesting, and there was always a reception with nice nibbles. I visited the campus museum often. I got good at doing my own hair, so minimal salon visits. Later, I became an RA and a desk assistant in the dorm during the summers, with endless easy overtime.
I agree that no one cares what you wear, just be clean. Jeans, shorts, t-shirt.
Well, if you own a pair of tights or jeans, a t-shirt, a hoodie, and any pair of shoes, you’d fit right into my state flagship. Hardly any of my female classmates own more than one of any particular “stylish” item, so if you feel pressured to wear something in particular, you don’t need 10 versions. I’m also starting in Fall 2018, and hopefully I will get internships and possibly tutor or take another minimum wage job for 10 hrs/week during the semester.
You’ll find many college students are “grunge” especially in the am classes. A lot of put on whatever was on the floor and a hat. They’ll break out the threads on the weekends when they go out. So don’t really sweat it. And like others said, see if you can get a job, maybe on campus. It will give you a few extra bucks.
@yourmomma Problem is, I have to get a Work Study job to afford to attend the college, but since it’s Work Study, a lot of that money has to go towards tuition, so I’m afraid I’ll have very little excess left.
I was in your shoes in college and in grad school as well. You can decide whether this will bother you or not. My recommendation is that you not let it bother you. You will find your tribe if you seek them out, and they won’t care what you are wearing. Really.
Work your *ss off in school, participate in groups and clubs, and make friends. You don’t have much wiggle room, so use that fact as motivation. Don’t be jealous or envious, maintain a positive attitude at all times. Having rich friends is a good thing too, my Dad used to say that he wanted all of his friends to be rich (including those from poor families). Get a part time job that lets you study, or pays you to do research, and work over the holiday break and summer (two jobs if necessary). Revel in the fact that you are getting the exact same education as the other students and you are likely getting your education at minimal cost. You will be all be getting the same jobs after college anyway. The connections you make in college- including the parents of your friends - will help you throughout your life.
Read The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley and William Danko (commonly available in libraries). Then you can put status symbol spending that you observe in context.
You’re smart to think about this beforehand. When I went to college I was in a similar situation (very poor background attending college w/very wealthy student population), so had to figure out a few strategies:
Don’t get lured into the idea that there is a competition for best dressed. Not only do many of the rich kids fail that one, but you’ll find because of regional differences it’s much harder to tell at college whose clothes were expensive anyways. Expensive clothes from one region look like another region’s trash. Take advantage of that lack of knowledge. Always dress in a way that shows your best features/makes you feel good and totally stay out of the fashion race. You will look great, your confidence will show through and nobody will guess that your jeans were from Goodwill.
There are a few exceptions to rule #1. It will vary by school, but you’ll need a few “costumes” or specialty outfits so you can seamlessly blend in certain social situations. During my college life and for my major, it was one suit, one evening dressy outfit and one upscale casual outfit. With just those three I could kill at an interview, blend in social networking events and even crash upscale gatherings. Know that you’re going to need those and think ahead. I got those three by shopping the clearance racks right after holidays or just after a season was over, so my killer suit for example was a Dior that was originally $600, marked down to $120 right after the season was over (I did have to replace one button - $2). Once you have your few “costumes” on the cheap, go right back to ignoring fashion trends.
Other than getting your few essentials in step 2, stay the heck out of stores. You want what you see. Don’t browse as a social activity. Do not get a job at a store that sells clothes.
Figure out a way to have a little spending cash. Whether it’s dog walking, tutoring, babysitting, whatever - do a few little side gigs so that every once in a while when your social group wants to do something that involves cash, you have a little and can at least hang out.
It will be OK. You’re obviously smart - you wouldn’t be at this awesome school if you weren’t. You will figure it out.
Many times, work study jobs allow you to study on the job. Try to get a job checking people in at the library or at a ticket booth where there’s tons of downtime. You can use that time to study. I had a work study job and then I scooped ice cream at the local ice cream shop for a little extra money. It worked out just fine.
I hear you. Spouse did work study and it was only a few buck, but made it last. But you’ll be surprised. Really work that financial aid office, they’ll find money especially for people who need it to attend. And we have all been there – Scrounging the couch for change and popcorn dinners.
Dealing with being poor in college has a lot to do with desire to get through college. There are wealthy kids who take everything for granted and some even squander the amazing opportunity that they are literally given. Keep your eye on the priority of doing well and earning the degree. Doing well educationally is a great equalizer.
The beautiful thing about college - especially a large university - is that it’s just not high school. There will be such a diverse range of students that you should have no problem finding people in similar financial positions (or people with similar values, regardless of how much money they have) that will make you feel like you aren’t always on the outside peering in. No one cares what you wear, and everyone assumes college students in general are “starving”, so hustling for the free/super cheap deal on anything is expected and usually encouraged. Free pizza at a club’s welcome meeting? Yes! Splitting meals with someone at your local dive? Of course? Shopping at the local thrift store? Naturally. Buying used/renting/borrowing textbooks? Duh. Like @NorthernMom61 says, kill it academically - that’s the biggest gift you can give yourself. And it will keep you so busy, you won’t have time to worry about all of the stuff you can’t afford.
