Can a low income student thrive on an expensive campus?

Parents Forum
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<p>Wasn't certain how to title this thread but here goes. Our family on a tight budget, barely surviving. Husband has been seriously ill for many years. Daughter one at the best instate public school, on academic and need based financial aid. Her total cost of attendance is covered and what money she makes during the summer cover basic costs. Daughter two was just accepted into her number one school...Sarah Lawrence and is quite fortunate to have received an awesome financial aid package. With a few outside scholarships and minor student loans, her cost of attendace is also covered. However, this leaves extremely little in the way of spending money and living outside of NYC, I worry she'll be somewhat vulnerable when everyone has the ablility to do outside activities and she is struggling to survive. </p>

<p>Please forgive if my wording is confusing but I think the point is simple. How do low income students compete/compare when at school with persons of the opposite social/economical standards? Thank you in advance.</p>

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<p>I think this is a common concern. My observation is that, yes, it can be hard for kids at times when they are in the midst of kids who may never have faced financial hardship. But I am also certain that she will find there is a considerable group of other students who are in her situation and that with a minimal amount of effort she will find a way to have friends who can have fun on little or no money. One of the great things about a campus community is that there is a lot you can do for almost nothing. For example, at many liberal arts colleges and universities there are on-campus films, music, drama that, if not free, you can volunteer to work on and then get in free. Students just "hang out" in lots of places and, if she is one bit athletic, there are often intramurals etc. that are local and involve few costs. Once she is on campus she will start to get savvy about ways to make money or spend time in NYC for little money. Encourage her to get to know faculty and to be forthright about the financial limits she has and I bet some creative ways to make the most of the experience will evolve.</p>

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<p>It's going to depend on the campus. Being low income at a high income school probably would be difficult if most students leave campus to do expensive things on weekends, including leaving town. It's not that difficult, though, on campuses that have a lot of on-campus, cheap and free activities that students do.</p>

<p>S is on a campus where there are lots of rich kids. We are middle class, and S has no car, and is working on campus to help pay for his expenses, so he is very thrifty. He definitely doesn't have money for expensive things. He has made many friends and is involved in many interesting activities on campus. </p>

<p>While there are people on campus who are into, for instance, very expensive designer clothes, S has never been into that. He's the type of person who used to wear the same favorite T-shirt to school every day (washing it at night) even though it was falling apart.</p>

<p>I can tell that some of his friends have lots of money. For instance, one friend gave him expensive software for a birthday present. However, I know that S doesn't feel obligated to give friend a similar gift because S couldn't afford it. </p>

<p>I also have noticed that when S and his friends do things off campus, which isn't that often, they are things that are cheap.</p>

<p>I went to a college that also had some very wealthy friends. I didn't realize how well off one of my friends was until I asked her what she did over Christmas break, and she said she and her family went to Leningrad! The fact that she came from money, though, didn't impact our friendship because most of what we did together was right on campus. We'd occasionally walk into town for pizza or something else very cheap.</p>

<p>All colleges except colleges that are mainly commuter colleges have a variety of fun, free or dirt cheap activities such as movies, clubs, visiting lecturers and other activities.</p>

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<p>I don't want to sugarcoat this so I would say that it can be difficult for lower income students to enjoy the campus environment when it seems as though everyone around you always has money to go out and do things. It's not only the available money but the attitudes and personalities of the kids that grew up always getting whatever they wanted. </p>

<p>Think about the "fit" of the college. Have your daughter spend one or two nights on campus. </p>

<p>To answer your question--It is possible for a lower income student to thrive but it is equally possible for the attitudes and personalities of some of the wealthy students to drive a lower income student to want to transfer out.</p>

<p>You know your daughter best.</p>

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<p>I think it depends on the personality of that exact campus- does 'everybody' wear expensive clothes and flaunt expensive cars and think about money as being important ro do they just happen to have more than others and it also depends on the roommates and dorm, there could be a roomie who is a real snob or one who is sensitive to the issues faced by the one with less money.</p>

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<p>I agree with others that it depends on both the campus culture and the student's personality. When I went to college, I was a very low-income student on full financial aid at an urban campus. Most people stayed on campus to hang out or did inexpensive activities near school. I usually wasn't aware of other people's finances being better than mine, except at the time of year when I was stressing about filling out financial aid forms. The few times I did notice other people's wealth (like when I was invited to a grand house for a dinner party), I loved getting to see a different way of life. I was raised in a small town and was clueless about many things, so probably the transition to an urban setting overshadowed everything else and I interpreted all the differences through that lens.</p>

<p>My daughter is a freshman at a rural campus with a mix of students, including some who are very wealthy. She is not on financial aid but comes from a middle-class community and lifestyle. She thinks the vacations people go on sound amazing, and she's already trying to figure out how she can do some traveling on the cheap after graduation. During the academic terms, people pretty much stay put on campus because of the school's isolated location, so that limits how much people can spend - though online shopping is a major temptation for those with spending money :).</p>

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<p>Like everyone said, it does depend on the campus. When I was an undergrad, you frequently couldn't tell who was very wealthy, who was dirt-poor, who was in the middle somewhere. The activities that people did tended to be cheap, and most people lived frugal lifestyles and dressed unpretentiously in general, regardless of family wealth. At the school that I'm at now, it feels like people are preoccupied with class (in the mostly-wealthy-people-feeling-guilty sort of way). They angst about class differences and the need to have conversations about class on campus constantly in the student paper. That particular school has only been need-blind for a couple of years, so I understand why they are so weird about it, but it's still culture shock after the environment that I came from.</p>

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<p>It really depends more on the kid. I have a son at the state U and it seems to me that his friends/crowd are living very well. They all have cars, go off campus frequently, have great vacations. My boys who went to private schools seemed to hang with a less well to do crowd. Or so it seemed from the activities they pursued. </p>

<p>I went to college pretty much totally on scholarship and aid, as did my husband. We went to a school where there were a lot of well to do kids. But there were also a lot of kids on financial aid. You can look up what the percentage of kids on financial aid is at a college. Most schools run around 50% last time I looked. </p>

<p>However that can be deceptive. Though my kids are not on financial aid, we have undergone an austerity regiment so that they can go to their colleges. We don't qualify for aid, but we feel the tuition payments very painfully. NOne of our kids have cars, we are on a tight budget, and the kids know this. They are each working many hours during the summer and taking on a job on campus as well as taking some student loans to help pay for their schooling. I have seen families whose kids are on substantial aid who have given the kids anything and everything. Those kids have a lot more than my kids who are not on aid.</p>

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<p>I was a very middle class kid at a college with much wealth. There were times I felt left out as students headed off for expensive weekends and Spring break vacations. Yet I never for a moment wished I hadn't pursued the opportunity to attend that school. You deal. Working part-time you can certainly participate in the day to day pizza and cheap meals out. And now there's ebay if you feel the need to wear the same designer jeans and expensive handbags.</p>

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<p>I'll note for the record that a student can be at the low end of the family wealth range just as readily at a state university while paying list price as at a private college that provides a scholarship. If the quality of the college is a good trade-off for the price, this is probably worth doing. Making new friends from a different background is something every college student needs to learn how to do.</p>

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<p>I agree with tokenadult. There are plenty of extremely rich students-- driving cars like BMWs, wearing designer clothes, living in frat houses that look like mansions -- at the public university in my town. </p>

<p>It's also helpful to become comfortable interacting with people of all backgrounds.</p>

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<p>I think it depends on the campus and the kids. I do beleive it could be hard if you attend school in a large city (NYC, Boston, Chicago) where the city offers a lot. I think if you are at NYU, Columbia, Barnard, etc, and are happy traveling with your unlimited metrocard, and your friends say "let's jump in a cab", "let take a quick run to Saks, bloomingdales, etc." lets go out to this place, take in this show or even order some food, it can be very uncomfortable for the student who is living la vida broka until their next work-study check comes in.</p>

<p>It can be hard if you are at a suburban school, close to a big city and the weekend rolls around and everyone wants to go hang out in the city. Sometimes you can be left behind if you don't have the $$ to hang out.</p>

<p>One of the great things about my D being in Hanover, there were people with wealth, some wore expensive clothes, but others never flaunted it. One of her best friends family were major donors to the university (buildings named after the family $$) they they were the most laid back unassuming people you would ever want to meet.</p>

<p>I agree with Tokenadult and NSM that there is a lot of wealth being flaunted at the state U.</p>

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<p>I was also a middle class kid at a college with a lot of very wealthy students. It was not that much of a problem. There were also students who had less than I had and they were noticable just as much as the kid who flew to an island or away for a ski trip. I saw a lot of designer clothes and handbags. I also saw plenty of people that did not value and/or could not afford them. </p>

<p>The only pressure that I felt was twice. Once when I asked my mother for some money to set up an apartment. She nearly hit the roof. I was not asking for much, but my mother let me know that I was not there to "play house" and that this was a temporary living situation. I found that difficult bc of pressure from a roommate (who came from a family with less than what I had btw). She wanted to buy curtains and a new shower curtain. That was really it. The other time I was pressured about money was when a couple of friends wanted to go on "spring break". Again, the roommate who came from less than I did was one, and another friend from an upper midddle class family wanted to go with me. I put off spring break for a year and we went once during my undergrad experience. It was done "on the cheap", but it still cost money. My parents helped with those costs.</p>

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<p>I don't think it just depends on the campus, it depends a bit on you. I found that I seemed to naturally drift to making friends with incomes similar or even less than mine. When I go back to reunion events I'm amazed at how many of my fellow classmates came with families with big bucks and who are still living in mansions in Greenwich or full floor apartments on Park Avenue. I never knew any of them in college! It wasn't a conscious decision on my part. It does not hurt to go in with your eyes open, there will probably be a few times when your daughter will have to say, "Sorry I can't afford that." From what I've seen of the Sarah Lawrence campus, I don't think she'll feel uncomfortable on a regular basis. The kids look like college kids everywhere. A lot of jeans and leggings!</p>

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<p>I think that it might be a bigger issue at Sarah Lawrence than at many other schools because of the expense of clubbing and other entertainment in NYC right at hand.</p>

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<p>I put myself through at a state flagship and there was much money-flaunting. When COA was $3,000/yr., the Bank of Mom and Dad could afford sorority dues, a car, etc. It was hard to deal with fellow students and profs on group projects when others wanted to have meetings for projects before the partying began (and I worked at the cafeteria, so my hours were not flexible). I agree with other posters that the economics can play a role anywhere one goes.</p>

<p>From what S1 has reported, his friends at school went home for Spring Break, not on vacation. Suspect that may be the case for a lot more students these days with the current economy. S is earning $$ this week. Helps to have programming skills that pay well, even if he's not fond of applications programming!</p>

<p>Momray, does the FA package include work-study? If not, she may be able to pick up some spending $$ with an on-campus job a few hours a week. If she can visit campus over a weekend night, she may get a first-hand feel for how many folks go clubbing vs. on-campus activities. Mathmom is right, though -- she'll find her people, and if they are truly friends, the money won't matter. I know now I should have taken a much different attitude than I did and made the most of what I did have.</p>

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<p>P.S. It does not take huge amounts of "wealth" to be full-pay these days, either.</p>

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<p>It depends on what's already covered outside of tuition and housing - like adequate meals, books, and other college fees. The student should be able to earn enough during summer jobs and very part time (10-20 hrs/week) on-campus jobs to provide spending money for ECs like movies, restaurants, movies, etc. I see no reason why a student needs to go clubbing (wouldn't they be underage anyway unless going to some special underage-only clubs), to stage shows, live concerts, etc. and I see no need to 'compete' with other students in this area.</p>

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<p>Yes, NYC can be expensive, but when I went to school in the city my friends went to the movies. I don't know how much happens on Sarah Lawrence on weekends, though I did see a play there directed by a friend of mine a few years ago.</p>

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<p>Here is a link to a really good article about a poor student attending Stanford. About a year old now but still very relevant.</p>

<p>Low-income</a> students feel left out at Stanford</p>