How do I write the 150 EC Writing?

Applying to College Common and Coalition Application
1

<p>Am I supposed to talk about how much I'm into the activity, or things like awards I got? I really did not know where to go with this at all. Am I bragging too much in this? This was a rough try though, someone tell me where I need to go wish this please.</p>

<p>*My passion for tennis has defined my character. I was eager to excel and eventually started surpassing others who had been playing for years with less than a few months of intense practice. My attitude in practice set me apart, which earned me the Coach's Award. Not only that, but my eagerness transmuted into my schoolwork, earning me the Academic Excellence Award from my coach as well. I kept a fine balance to continue to the top in academics despite giving in so much into tennis. Involvement outside of school was also momentous to me. I did very well in a summer league, winning the Men's Doubles match in the JTL Championship. I play it every day, and will continue to play it at your university and apply that same effort to my mission in academics. *</p>

2

<p>no offense but it's very boring. the language isn't exciting.
it also doesn't discuss how playing tennis connects you with others/your community. make a more friendly essay my friend.</p>

3

<p>Thanks for the feedback, I really had no idea where to go with this part. Working with people of different skills I guess connects it with community, but it still seems very plain by saying that. I definitely see what you mean by how it's boring, but I can't make it like a narrative or something. I'll get to work, and any other feedback would be appreciated.</p>

4

<p>Sounds good but a little winded. Use more action verbs and clearer sentences.</p>

5

<p>Don't restate stuff you've already said in your app, i.e. awards. Try to explain how important it is to you, and why, not just what you do.</p>

6

<p>^^^^ 100% agree. Maybe describe a moment while playing it that shows something about your dedication. Basically something they wouldn't know by looking at the rest of the application.</p>

7

<p>My 150 word EC writing sample was kind of playful, poked fun at the job I was describing yet also described how much it meant to me?
This was the last sentence of my 150 word-er:</p>

<p>Just one note for the future: being the doctor who actually treats them might be a better excuse for a sore backside at the end of the day.</p>

8

<p>Does anyone know if it is okay to go a little over 150? Mine right now is 178. I can probably cut it down a couple more words, but I'm not sure if I can get it exactly 150 or less. Will this matter?</p>

9

<p>Well it does matter, actually, since the common application doesnt even ACCEPT anything over 150 words...</p>

10

<p>A 178 word response will still fit, and is not a big deal.</p>

11

<p><em>sigh</em> I don't think I still got it, I've been focusing more on essays than this, but I think it's better. What do you guys think?</p>

<p>*The name of the game is tennis; it brings with it moments that make our heartbeats louder than the seventy mile per hour winners we hit at each other as silent emotions flood the court. As we try to tame the ball, we learn from each shot and intuitively predict ourselves. As a life sport, tennis has taught me to keep just as much attention in studies as I do on the ball. Coming from down a set and saving match points in my matches showed me that I don’t follow the norms of a situation, but rather take command of what I want. By taking control of the elements that define me, I make my own character that translates into the spirit of my teammates. As I play tennis every day, I keep learning so that I may hit that winner once again to come out on top. *</p>

12

<p>It's definitely better.:) One suggestion, maybe have someone read it over for grammar. There are a few awkward sentences.</p>

13

<p>Since these are college essays, I know you need good grammar, but sometimes bad grammar makes stuff interesting. </p>

<p>(To test our will. Determination. Our leadership. They couldn't be denied) </p>

<p>vs</p>

<p>(it would test our will, determination, and our leadership. They would not be denied)</p>

<p>Sometimes grammar connects the ideas with emphasis that normal structure couldn't do, but I see what you mean, and will continue to revise it. Thanks for the feedback!</p>

14

<p>What other suggestions do you guys have for that revised one? I'm not going to lie though, tennis made me very involved with school, changed my personality, and made me more social and outgoing, but then colleges might think I was nothing before 11th grade if I say that if I make those first 2 years seem a little negative. I know they like to see change, but I do'nt want them to think that if it weren't for tennis, I wouldn't be anything.</p>