Today I found it that I did not place in the top ten at HOSA ILC even though I had believed I would place. It’s devastating and makes me feel as if I can never be as good as other people. Losing makes me question my abilities and my chances at being accepted into my dream schools. I’m trying to stay positive and tell myself that as one door closes, another opens. But it doesn’t soothe the pain of losing. Losing and winning are both part of growing as an individual, so how do you regain your confidence after a failure? How do you transform the pain into motivation?
It is expected that you will be dejected and wonder how well you compare to others, but only for a few days. When you consider the posts on CC it appears that extraordinary events such as admission to an academically elite school with far too many applicants to accept is a reasonable expectation. No! You can only make a reasonable prediction of success to the degree you control the outcome. You had a reasonable expectation of success, but it didn’t work out this time. Did the letter say you were inadequate or a failure? No. Sometimes you will succeed and sometimes not. That is life. Mourn a couple of days and then start looking toward your future. Your value as a person wasn’t evaluated. I
I just read a terrific article about someone who graduated from high school 20 years ago. She embraced competitive situations because she often did well and it confirmed her sense that there was a hierarchy and that she was somewhere near the top of it. She went to an elite school, got an elite job, yada yada. But she realized that her approach, and especially her attitude, we’re getting in the way of her happiness and especially, her relationships. She is working very hard now to maintain a focus on doing HER best and not comparing herself to others, and really, with decades of licing differently, this is a tough change for her.
You clearly have gifts and a work ethic to use them. Start TODAY to focus on what your personal experience and rewards are from what you do. What did you learn about the material? What did you learn about yourself? What do you want to do next?
Not winning can be disappointing. So can winning and figuring out that you now need yet another goal. It’s okay to be bummed but then you need to move on. Trust me that if the only enjoyment you get is from winning, those moments are short when compared to the hours, days, aND years that go into everything that got you to that moment.