My advice is to look and sound happy and confident about it. “I’m going to ASDFLING College! It’s a small college in Montana. Most people haven’t heard of it but I think it’s perfect for me and I can’t wait to experience another part of the country for a little while. But I’ll be back.” Something like that, and they’ll be happy for you instead of looking awkward. If they ask you about UT just be honest. “Yeah, I love that school but unfortunately I didn’t get in.” You certainly aren’t the only one who didn’t get in. Most people will appreciate your honesty and feel for you.
It’s a normal question and you shouldn’t feel offended everyone is asking it. It’s an exciting time.
When you get the blank stare, drop your jaw and say, “Wha… you’ve never heard of it?? Wow.”
People mean well. And yeah, it’s a little annoying. My D went to an obscure LAC 1500 miles away from home, so she got a lot of blank stares too.
The upside is that you and your college mates will form a tight lifelong bond, not just with each other, but with all alumni everywhere. So two years after you graduate and you’re living far away from the college, and you’re wearing some college gear, sometimes someone you never met before will come up to you and you’ll have a little reunion right there on the street. They will have a bright gaze which counteracts all of the blank stares.
Wow, I got lots of great comments from you guys! @travelerfromtx Your comment was perfect. I always have negative thoughts, so my first reaction to the comments was to just be annoyed about questions regarding college. I’m still slightly upset with myself for getting rejected from my top choice. However, I shouldn’t make my upcoming college experience negative.
@intparent Yeah, many Texans couldn’t image leaving the state Some of my friends don’t understand why I don’t like living here. It’s just not my place, way too hot
Well first off… Congrats! Congrats on getting in and congrats on being up for an adventure!
Secondly… Seriously you have just not found your people!! We are in Texas and my kid would be an auto admit at UT and she still wants out! She is seriously so excited for the seniors who are going OOS.
If she asked you she might ask “where is that” but then her next response would be “are you so excited about going away? What are you looking forward to the most?”
There is an amazing world beyond Texas. Go get it!
Own the process and embrace the enthusiasm. Lots of underclass kids are no doubt watching and who knows… You might open their eyes to some paths that lead beyond what is in their proverbial back yard.
Have a great freshman year! Have an amazing summer with your mom too.
Here’s my foot in mouth situations with this very thing:
Scenario 1: When my D1 was a freshman in HS, I was talking to the father of a Senior, and asked him what his daughter was thinking of for college (She was planning to go to college, that had already been established in the conversation). He looked very affronted. I had no idea why. I was thinking when I asked the question about how nice it would be to hear why students make the choices they do, as there are so many colleges - how do you figure out which ones to consider? And I knew our kid had to start thinking about it in a year or so, and asking someone going through it about the though process would be a good starting point. But from his reaction I realized that asking about colleges could be a loaded question for some people, and he might have looked upset because he imagined I would be ranking her as a student in my mind from his answer. But I didn’t know enough about colleges to rank his daughter or judge her in any way.
Scenario 2, not long after. Ran into a friend with an older kid than mine. She tells me that her son has just decided on a college. She tells me he is going to Williams College. I’ve never heard of it. This time, she would like me to be a bit impressed, I can tell by her demeanor. Since SHE seemed to want to talk about it, at least I was able to ask her about the thought process of choosing a college.
That’s the thing with people, most people just want to hear your story. It is an exciting time of your life and a whole world of possibilities awaits you. People want to know about that and if you are excited by your prospects, they will be happy for you.
So that is a reason you could give, that along with academics you really like, you wanted to experience different weather. Nothing wrong with that. I notice you haven’t even told us what school it is. You could practice on us, and we might even have specific good things to tell you to say.
@carachel2 thanks for the advice! I agree, I need to embrace the enthusiasm. Maybe if I invite more positive energy in, my overall mindset will be less negative
@intparent Okay, let’s try this out: I’m attending Cleveland State University this fall because I want to experience living in a new part of the US, I want snow and the school fits me academically. I’m proud to be a CSU Viking!!!
See, you can do this. Oh, and you know what? A year from now, no one will ask. It is the buzz for high school seniors (and the best conversation piece adults can think of when they talk to you). But it will pass. Be sure you get to Cedar Point at some time during your tenure – my dad use to do business there, and sometimes we would fold a day there into his trips. And put on some green and white swag to show your spirit!
I 2nd the “smile & nod” thread. It will make you laugh! What you’re essentially asking about is how to respond to foolish, yet ignorant and well-intended, people. Here are some possible replies to consider. If it feels awkward saying these out loud, then practice a couple in private ahead of time so you have them down pat. Sometimes it’s not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it that will get their attention…
Ignorant Person (IP): Why are you going there? I’ve never heard of that school.
You: Wow, you’ve never heard of ___ University/College?
…then you let that hang for a couple of seconds and then say…
You: It’s really a great school in City, State and I’m really excited about going there.
IP: Why aren’t you staying in Texas?
You: Why in the world are YOU staying in Texas? There’s a huge world out there to explore. Why limit myself to 1 state?
IP: Why aren’t you staying in Texas?
You: Because I’d like to broaden my horizon and get outside my comfort zone to challenge myself.
IP: You could have gotten into some really good schools.
You: I did. In fact, I’m going to be attending one this fall.
IP: You could have gotten into some really good schools.
You: So could you. Too bad for you!
IP: You’re not going to UT?
You: Yeah, it’s kind of a bummer, but it’s a blessing in disguise. I’m really pleased with where I’ll be attending this fall. Did you know that __ University/College has a really great ___ program/research institute/throw in some fascinating factoid about your college.
@GreenTeaFanatic What did put Cleveland State or even just Cleveland on your radar? Do you have family in the area? Does it have a program you were interested in? Is there some kind of history with it, like, your aunt went there or something? Did someone recommend it to you? This should probably be part of your answer. If you actually flipped a book open and picked something with your pointy finger and your eyes closed, or threw a dart at a map and that’s what stuck, that would be an interesting story too. A little bit of context is all people want. Good luck and enjoy college!
@OHMomof2 Super excited to visit the rock 'n roll hall of fame! @intparent very good point, in a year I’ll be with a new group of friends. Is Cedar Point that really big amusement park? I must admit, I’ve never been to an amusement park before :(( @Lindagaf good for her! What school are they going to attend? (ironic that I’m asking you this lol)
@redpoodles I actually just used the College SuperMatch tool on this website. Put in my stats/preferences and CSU came up. I did more research into it on it’s official website and I just really liked it. No family ties at all and that’s the way I like it. I’m not a family type of person
Some of my friends don’t understand why I don’t like living here. It’s just not my place, way too hot
You could practice on us, and we might even have specific good things to tell you to say.