<p>Rejection sucks. I’m not going to sugar coat it. But you know what sucks more? Thinking you’re a failure because of it. Everyone gets rejected. Those who don’t are too scared to try something that they might not succeed at. You’re not a failure for being rejected; however, you would be a failure if you stopped trying.</p>
<p>Ask you mom to participate on this thread, could be an eye-opening experience for her!!!</p>
<p>If you apply to multiple colleges, you need to be realistic and recognize that at least some of the places you applied to will turn you down, that’s reality. That doesn’t make you a bad person or anything of the sort.</p>
<p>If you have ever participated in sports you realize that no one wins every race, that is part of the challenge of competing.</p>
<p>People get rejected all the time, It’s not a BIG deal. I was rejected from two research internships, one was cancer institute and was an infectious disease center. I felt bad for about two days and then forgot about it. It’s cool. It taught me that other students are really serious about research, it taught me that some kids just wanted this internship because it looks good on college applications, it taught me to really sell yourself during interviews, it taught me that I should’ve lied and said that I wanted to become an allopathic doctor…</p>
<p>Also, @TheKongo’s words are golden.</p>
<p>That video about rejection was great. :)</p>
<p>Think long and hard about how your mom’s beration makes you feel and tell her the whole story. Let her know how deeply her words have the power to affect you, how healthy it is to have someone to trust as a friend and mentor when it seems like the world rejects you, and how desperate you become when the people closest to you are no better than the people out there who just want to use you but have no use for you.</p>
<p>If she won’t be reasonable about it… life deals some people a s**t hand; some people have cancer, some live in North Korea, some are mentally impaired, and some are born to sociopaths. You might be one of them. :-(</p>
<p>Tell her how it makes you feel in a way that she would understand. Summer programs are very insignificant relative to the rest of your app so don’t let this discourage you from applying to selective schools. </p>
<p>If you need something to do over the summer I would recommend doing an internship or volunteering in something that you genuinely find interesting and enjoyable. You don’t need to do some crazy selective program over the summer, just something that you are passionate about, making it easy for colleges to see that you are active and interesting/interested in learning. </p>
<p>In terms of dealing with rejection, don’t let anyone get you down about not achieving something. Feeling sorry for yourself every time you miss an opportunity or goal is no way to live life as there are so many of them. They are like buses, if you miss one there’s always another one around the corner. Catch the next one and I promise you that things won’t be nearly as bad as you think they will be. </p>
<p>Good luck with the rest of your scholarships and summer programs and try to keep your head high and don’t let your disappointment keep you from going forward.</p>
<p>I dont even know what a summer program is? Is that the thing where you go to a college and take courses for the summer? Neither I, nor any of my friends, did one of those… And most of my friends are going to ivies/duke/washu/northwestern. I think the best thing you can do with your summer is to get an internship (most of us worked at NIH). But if its too late for that, the next best thing you can do is get an average job, like lifeguarding or waitering. Colleges want to see you doing something productive, not just taking more classes. I’ve never know anyone who did these summer programs, and the all of my friends are going to great schools.</p>
<p>Supersmartguy1, my son applied to 15 internships and a study abroad fellowship for the summer and got rejected or no call back from all of them until - today! He was feeling very invisible and discouraged. Then Friday one of the best internships he had applied for called and conducted a phone interview. Today he found out he got it, a paid internship with a very well-known company, and they even said it could lead to part time work during the school year as well (in the computer science field). So don’t give up, and even if you don’t get that call remember it’s not because you weren’t good enough- it’s just a numbers game. There is a lot of competiton. Don’t take it personally, just keep sending out applications until something pans out. Check Craigslist because some companies, especially smaller ones, are just posting internships now as they realize they need summer help. Good luck!</p>
<p>How I deal with rejection: have more and better waiting in the wings. Works with job applications, scholarships, business proposals, dating… Trust me, rejection from one guy doesn’t hurt when you’re dating three others. If there’s nothing waiting in the wings, I try to go out and find it - either in that particular area, or something totally different. </p>
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<p>That’s a problem. That is your mother’s problem that she is making into your problem. </p>
<p>Seriously, that one is on her, not on you. It’s toxic, cruel, demeaning, and counterproductive. At least some part of any self-respecting person will think, “I don’t want to win these scholarships, because if I do, then she’ll think that this verbal abuse is productive and gets results.” </p>
<p>
Have you had someone - someone who is NOT your mother - read over your applications and your resume? I know grown adults who aren’t good at presenting themselves well on paper (heck, I might be one of them, or if I’m not, it’s because of massive intervention by skilled professionals) - I can’t imagine that many kids are naturally good at it. </p>
<p>You would be very surprised at how much of a difference it makes.</p>
<p>What the heck is wrong with your mom? Does she/do you realize that by applying for scholarships and summer programs, you have shown yourself to be more well-prepared for college than 95% of high school students? That’s just ridiculous and you should not feel like a failure.
But honestly, to answer your question, I don’t mind rejection too much. There is no way to change what has happened, so the logical thing to do is make the best of the options left to you. And learning to cope with rejection now is good preparation for anyone’s future. To land a good job, people might send in dozens of job applications before even getting an interview. Don’t take it personally, but use it as a learning opportunity (my advice).</p>
<p>Not to be mean/funny or anything, but when I first saw this, I thought it was related to prom :l</p>
<p>I’m really sorry this happened, but maybe you could make a really good use of your summer by volunteering at a hospital or do some other community service? If you get lots of hours, it might even be better than some summer program! :)</p>
<p>Just ride the tide and stop caring about anything including rejection because it doesn’t mean anything anyway as you’re on a planet in the middle of a solar system of 8 planets in the middle of a galaxy of a billion stars in the middle of a universe with a billion other galaxies in it the middle of a possibly endless number of universes. Just chill and do whatever you want. There’s nothing worth worrying about on this small speck of rock we live on.</p>
<p>If you ever need to remember that, here’s a good link to put it all in persepctive:
<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pale_blue_dot[/url]”>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pale_blue_dot</a></p>
<p>This is what I’d say I do…
Take your rage and…</p>
<p>Convert your emotions into pure (mental/focusing) power. Those that get all the scholarships, awards, prestigious colleges, etc when you don’t… Well aim for something unique of your own.</p>
<p>Rejection, when also faced with an overbearing and unsupportive parent, is always going to be a hard thing to deal with. Especially if you’ve been conditioned your whole life to feel like a failure if you don’t meet your parent’s expectations. What you need to realize is that you only need to worry about what one person thinks. You. These scholarships/programs are so small in the grand scheme of life. Take a breath and and just try to release it. BTW, I eat some Ben & Jerry’s. It always makes me feel better.</p>
<p>Dear Super…,</p>
<p>I’m very sorry that your mother’s reaction is so negative, unsupportive, and awful. Please do not believe her toxic words. You are hard working and doing your best. Please try to surround yourself with friends, family, teachers, and counselors etc who will support you and cheer you on. They may also be able to give honest and constructive feedback to you so you can see if there are areas you want to improve. Many successful adults and students faced many rejections or failed attempts but grew from those experiences. Read some biographies or autobiographies of those who overcame obstacles in life.</p>
<p>For scholarships, many are ultra competitive. My family members have tried for several but did not receive them. As a suggestion, please consider local or smaller scholarships or ones that ask for an essay response or a specific skill or talent you have. Your school counselor might be able to make suggestions or review past applications to suggest how you can make yourself a stronger applicant. If is too late for deadlines, a campus job or a scholarship to which you apply as an undergrad would help with affordability.</p>
<p>Please do focus on getting more support for yourself.</p>
<p>I don’t understand your mom’s terrible reactions and name calling. I don’t want to make excuses for her because I don’t know the situation, but no parent should behave that way toward their child IMO. Perhaps she needs help or counseling to control her behavior. Perhaps she is stressed over finances or her own issues and is inappropriately taking it out on you. Whatever her reason, she needs to stop her negative behavior, get help for herself, and start being a parent. One who supports and cares.</p>
<p>I hope you find the support you deserve. My best wishes go out to you.</p>
<p>Another comment I have is that it seems like your mom is comparing you to others who are getting all the programs, awards etc. and stating she is ashamed of you to put pressure on you-that really pains me. Some parents incorrectly think the way to motivate their kid is to compare, compete, and use the shame game. Perhaps she gets her self-worth from your accomplishments and right now, she doesn’t have the bragging rights she craves. Again, I do not support her behavior.</p>
<p>As for summer programs, I think over the past several years they have become much more competitive. Perhaps, you can do research at a local college, volunteer, or get a summer job. Not everything has to be a summer program in order to get valuable experience.</p>
<p>I hope things work out, and I hope your home environment improves.</p>
<p>Am hella cathartic; get successful in other ways; cry.</p>
<p>I have a “tiger mom” myself even though I’m white. Try to not listen to her, rejection is awful but a normal part of life. Once you get through the grieving period, try to objectively look at what was wrong. Is there a teacher who could review your app and offer advice as to where you went wrong? Is it your “stats” (grades, SAT, APs, ect.) or something more intangible like writing ability? Find what needs improving, and work on it. You can do it, good luck</p>
<p>Rejection is something that we all have to deal with throughout our lives; you might as well get used to it now.</p>
<p>I strongly disagree with your mother’s demeaning comments. If I might ask, do you have Asian parents?</p>