Without losing it because one declines dating the other?
I love having a group of friends with guys and girls but seems like my male friends don’t last too long.
Usually one starts to like me and when I’m not interested he no longer wants to be friends.
Then it’s hard to be a full group of friends because people make it seem like I’m the bad guy for ‘friend zoning’
When I secretly like my male friends I never act on it nor do I get mad and stop being friends because he’s not interested in me.
Male friends who only befriend you for the purpose of trying to date you are most likely not worth being friends with. It’s not something you can force honestly
With great difficulty. If I let myself get as close to guys as girls, things no longer stay platonic (as I’ve discovered the hard way). If the guy is mature enough, he’ll brush off the rejection and at least try to keep a friendship going.
@violet1996 I think some guys are very persistent so even if you don’t think of them in a romantic way, they keep trying to win your heart over. Then I end up feeling so bad lol. Just bring up the “dating” question and then they may back away idk…
I’m so sorry that you guys have never had opposite sex friends…
My best friend- as in we do everything together - dinner, beach, shopping lol have never had that problem, he comes to me for relationship advice and I do the same we literally have like a brother/sister relationship & I trust him way more than I do some of my girl friends and the topic of relationship has never come up. Not once. We’ve been friends for 3 years now…
But I mean; I guess it either is or is not. When we met it was because he was asking me why I was eating cereal out of a cup & his roommate was trying to find a 3rd person to order dominoes with lol.
I do believe that completely platonic friendships are possible
I agree, but our culture encourages this practice. Based on these quotes from the [Dating in college](Dating in college - College Life - College Confidential Forums) thread, it seems like most people want to date their friends rather than acquaintances who are less close.
This strategy is fine when everyone feels the same way about each other, but you’re bound to have unrequited love and a lot of people can’t handle it. When you like someone who doesn’t like you back, it feels like you have to either get them to like you or cut them out of your life completely. Does it have to be that way?
Guys might feel like they have to befriend girls first if they want to have a chance at all. Personally, I wish they would make their intentions clear as soon as possible.
Aaand this is completely ignoring situations where the one-sided romantic feelings develop after the friendship has already been established (childhood friends growing up together, for example).
@Jazzii He may have never spoken about the topic of a relationship/hooking up, but I can bet you a lot that the thought has definitely crossed his mind. One of my guy friends and I are as close as you and your friend are, but we both admitted the idea of doing stuff with each other has crossed our minds. It’s still a very platonic friendship, but we had to talk about it once in order to confirm that there were no feelings on either end.
@Violet1996 Yes I agree; at one point they may have thought of you in a romantic kind of way, but they try to hide it because they don’t know if you feel the same way back.
I think it’s possible to have all the scenarios: it’s just a risk and you handle it as best as you can. In the end the risk is far worth the rewards of a good relationship or platonic friendship.
In high school I had three cases of this: one that started a year and then some relationship, the other was a quick one and we both eventually came to be friends, and the other is fully platonic and we’re still amazing friends. In college I had three of these cases as well, one no longer friends but on good terms, one distant, and one is my best friend. Point being, yes it can work out well and in all forms!
Lmao good point, quoting me on what I said earlier…but I meant date the acquaintances in your social circle because making lots of new friends should give you more options/opportunities. Dating friends gets too messy and complicated
My best friend of nearly 10 years is male. He’s my man of honor in my wedding. We discussed dating when we were both briefly single and ultimately decided not to and we moved on.
It is absolutely possible to be friends with the opposite sex if you’re straight/bi or same sex if you’re gay/bi.
People who befriend you only to try and date you aren’t worth your time. Most mature adults can move on from a romance not working out. In our bridal party, there are 5 people who have dated each other and a few more who have hooked up. All still on good terms.
And anyone who believes in the friend zone is similarly not worth your time.
Keep doing what you’re doing and leave the fake friends behind.
Based on these quotes from the [Dating in college](