<p>Actually, I'm Adam's mom with a question for other moms and dads whose sons/daughters have chosen the military path.</p>
<p>How do you respond to the inevitable question "Why would you let him join the military?" (or some variation thereof) when people find out that your child attends WP? I want to say "So he can save your sorry _ _ _ from terrorism", but I don't want to be as rude as they are. I never fail to be stunned by this numbing question. I am proud of my son's calling to this noble profession, but the message behind their question is "How can a mother let her son get in harm's way?"</p>
<p>How about something like: Well, the kind of men that go to West Point are not the kind of young men who could be persuaded by their mothers not to go -- nor would you want it any other way. </p>
<p>I get this quite a bit. Actually, the comment that angered me most came from a good friend at our Senior Awards Night last year. She asked me why I hadn't been successful at talking my daughter out of applying to West Point. And why was I even letting her go? She was in absolute shock when I replied that I was proud of her for following her dream. She will attend an outstanding school, have a career that will provide opportunities we never even imagined, and perform the ultimate in community service.</p>
<p>You're right about the message; that's what they really mean. And I think it's very rude. I give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes though. They just don't know any better. ;)</p>
<p>As long as you're prepared for the question with the right answer, all will be fine. Good luck!</p>
<p>I like what AFDAD2010 said because it is true.</p>
<p>When I tell people my son wants to attend USMA and be a career Army officer, I sometimes get this look of horror. Thankfully, the majority of the time I get a more positive response.</p>
<p>Here are a couple of ideas that work for me because they are true for my son. Maybe they would work for you too.
--My son has a calling and that calling is to protect and defend our great country. I am proud my son is so selfless that he is willing, if necessary, to sacrifice his own life for this calling.
--His passion in life is to serve in the military. I would never tell him not to follow his passion. I don't want him looking back at his life and saying what if.</p>
<p>It does make me angry when people look at this a waste of his talents. It is a great use of his talents! The young men and women that choose to go into the military are EXACTLY the kind of people we need defending us. </p>
<p>I generally tell people that ask the question "why" a military career that I raised my son to make his own decisions. That every person needs to follow their own dream and live their own lives. I am very proud of the decision my son has made to help others through military service and I am glad that he will follow his dream...not mine or someone else's. There is a great discussion of "why" in the following book:
AWOL : The Unexcused Absence of America's Upper Classes from Military Service -- and How It Hurts Our Country by Kathy Roth-Douquet, Frank Schaeffer. The authors are non-political in their discussion. Instead they focus on the question of why the current generation, and perhaps my generation, abondoned the concept of military service and duty to one's country in general.</p>
<p>I just have to say I am so grateful I found this forum last February. It is the only place I can discuss this kind of thing. My friends that have kids going off to civilian colleges just don't understand. Not only do I have the anxiety of my firstborn going away to college but I have an entirely different set of "issues" because of the type of college he will be attending. I don't feel alone anymore, especially when I get on here and someone has started a thread with the same question or problem I have. Now I am addicted to CC. :o</p>
<p>Kudos to AFDAD2010, momoftwins and WAMom68.</p>
<p>Throughout high school our daughter has thoroughly enjoyed participating in numerous service oriented projects, but she is by no means a "Little Miss Peace Corps" and can't wait for firearms training during Beast. While we have attempted to provide her with the opportunity to make an informed decision and enter this phase of her life "with eyes wide open", I would never think of discouraging her from her dream. The calling to the professionalism and selfless service was entirely our daughter's decision and we have supported her decision to attend the USMA from Day-1. No parent in their right mind would ever want their child placed in harms way, but there is such a thing as, "Duty, Honor, Country" and more citizens should be cognizant of that fact and realize that their freedoms come at the expense of others.</p>
<p>Many of us came to cc while going through the Admissions process. I thought that after receiving an appointment, I wouldn't need this site anymore. Well, for the exact reasons you wrote about, quite of few of the parents of 2009's are still here. It has nothing to do with our own kids and their admissions questions. It has everything to do with having a (mostly anonymous) network to discuss some of our issues. And with helping out - even just a little bit - some incredible kids trying to navigate through the process.</p>
<p>As much as I have only the greatest respect and admiration for our armed forces; yet, I would have preferred that my son pursue another course...in the end it was his decision. ...So, I offer him my complete support. Really, all these young people are truly incredible and heroes in my eyes!</p>
<p>Taffy, I don't take it as indictment of my parenting skills... unless, it implies that we have tried to raise independent children :)</p>
<p>Taffy you are right. My response to them...
Of course I don't want anything to happen to him, but he is an adult and we raised him to be independent and not come running to Mommy (or Daddy) for everything. It makes me proud that he is choosing to serve his country.</p>
<p>I hope that by telling them I am proud of my son they will get the point that I don't give a d*** what they think of me. I recognize the fact that I can't change all the ignorant minds out there but maybe I can educate some of them! </p>
<p>For some people Memorial Day and Veteran's Day are just days off of work. For the rest of us they mean a whole lot more than that.</p>
<p>Last night as I was watching the Washington DC Memorial Day celebration on television and listening to the stories of our Veteran's it truly hit me that our dearest daughter is now part of our US History.</p>
<p>The reactions that we received last year around graduation time were anything from "Congratulations" to "What is SHE thinking? and HOW can you ALLOW her to do this to her life?" (like it's some sort of choice we had...) </p>
<p>Most everyone knows that we are a truly patriotic family and could give a hoot about anything anyone wants to say, but some of their comments were just downright rude!</p>
<p>Our daughter is accomplishing a dream in life that she has had since childhood, she couldn't be happier at the CGA and is truly in her element. The maturity and growth we have witnessed over the past year won't be evident in her civilian peers till well into their late 20s or later.</p>
<p>Now when someone asks why I say, "Thank God for young adults like those who aren't afraid to go a different route and serve their country, that is why we all enjoy our freedom!"</p>
<p>God Bless America and God Bless Our Brave Children!</p>
<p>
[quote]
How do you respond to the inevitable question "Why would you let him join the military?" (or some variation thereof) when people find out that your child attends WP? I want to say "So he can save your sorry _ _ _ from terrorism", but I don't want to be as rude as they are. I never fail to be stunned by this numbing question. I am proud of my son's calling to this noble profession, but the message behind their question is "How can a mother let her son get in harm's way?"
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I've always said that rudeness deserves rudeness, especially when the reply is accurate. Sometimes the idiot asking the question needs to be smacked upside the head with reality. So, I would probably answer like this:</p>
<p>"Simple. First, so he can save you and your family's sorry ___es from terrorism and other threats, and second because he's an adult and I treat him as one. He has chosen to pursue a noble and honorable profession. What right do I have to disrespect his decision? Do you keep your adult children chained in a padded room in your house to keep them safe? What if the house burns down?"</p>
<p>Of course, I also believe a good swift kick to the gut is an acceptable alternative. :mad:</p>
<p>
[quote]
It does make me angry when people look at this a waste of his talents.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Idiots like that normally wouldn't know talent if it drove over them in a tank. These are the people who think that Andy Worhol was actually an artist, remember?</p>
<p>Your posts make me appreciate how lucky we are to live in a Navy town. My future mid and I attended a lunch at our church on Sunday. During the opening prayer, the deacon announced that Tara would be attending Annapolis next month; the whole room burst into applause. At least 6 older gentlemen approached her; I could hear, "Class of 58", "Class of 62", from the men surrounding her. They began reciting sections of Reef Points. It was a wonderful moment for her.</p>
<p>Of course, we still have those who question her decision to go Navy, but days like Sunday make them easier to face.</p>
<p>You know, another thing you can say is, "Well, my kid has chosen to dedicate part of his life, and perhaps GIVE his life, in defense of people like you who look down on him for it. What has YOUR child decided to do with his life?"</p>
<p>When they give you a shocked look (for having DARED to confront them), simply reply, "Good answer!" and walk away.</p>
<p>How will you respond to this massacre of My Lai proportions?
Do you really think that killing children and women execution-style furthers any cause? I read an essay that Chomsky that was discussing whether the German and Japaneese in the civilian population share any blame for what happend in those countries during World War II. It is my opinion that those who are implicity involved in massacre shouldn't be blindly called heroes just because they sent an S.I.R. to a school. The ones that would be considered heroes are the ones that spoke out about this, Abu Gharib, My Lai and the carpet-bombing of civilians or people like Eisenhower who failed to stop it, but at least acknowledged the military coup occuring. (Reference to Farewell Address, tie that to Bush appointing a general to a Cia post)</p>
<p>I am so grateful for ya'll who "get it". You guys make me smile. I'd had a few comments but thankfully, no more. Seems like it only happened close to when the boy graduated last year and people would ask where he was going off to school. I recall truly wanting to slug one lady. It really is a shame that there are people out there who belittle such a commitment.....</p>
<p>I wouldn't have believed this kind of nonsense would occur in my son's polite little h.s. comm'ty...until it did. </p>
<p>Referring to my son's future at NAPS/USNA, an acquaintance said, "I would NEVER send my son off to somewhere so dangerous." I was so startled, the best I could do was, "I guess I'm kind of surprised you can still 'send' your son off anywhere." Now I wish I'd at least reminded her of the draft, and that my son's willingness to serve means she doesn't have to 'send' hers anywhere. </p>
<p>But Taffy's right (smart guy, that one). It was an indictment against my parenting. </p>
<p>(And confused23, I think you confused this site with some other one.)</p>