<p>I am facing a very nasty situation right now. I am 17, turning 18 in November. I applied to WP, I got a LOA, and recently I just received a nomination. However, my mom is adamantly refusing to let me go, with the whole "concerned mother" argument that "Oh, training will be too tough for you! Oh you will die!" Rather, she wants me to go to a very liberal state university and enter Pre-Med, something that I have no intention in doing. I tried to explain to her that I do want to serve my country, but she gives me the rather insulting comeback of "Oh, you're not serving your country. you're serving bush. what does the country matter anyway, it's your life." I'm wondering whether anyone else is faced/has faced with a similar situation, and how y'all resolved it....I understand that there MUST be parental consent to attend the academies if you're under 18? Any help at all would be greatly appreciated.</p>
<p>Wow, it never occurred to me to tell my son that he could not attend one of the finest institutions of higher learning in the country, if not the world, where it would not cost me hardly a dime. gather the facts, present your arguments in a calm manner and assure your mom that you intend to go the academy, if not this year then next. Bush will be long gone by the time you will be active duty so that is not a valid argument.</p>
<p>When my son was going thru the college process, he applied to many universities and we encouraged him to research all of them as solid back up plans. One was a very liberal college in the north who was recruiting him to swim and offering a very attractive scholarship package. His dad took him to a informational meeting with some other prospects in our area. Sitting around a table with what my son and husband both described a bunch of sixties throwbacks. The school representative asked my son what he planed on doing after college. My son answered that his plan was to enter the military as an officer and serve his country. My husband said you could have heard a pin drop in the room, and they all looked at my son as if he had two heads. Needles to say he crossed that school off of his list.</p>
<p>Talk to your Admissions officer and your MALO. Did you take your Dodmerb physical? Did she sign for that?</p>
<p>Perhaps you and your MALO can arrrange for a meeting to talk about USMA and the Army. Have you or can you visit USMA? Will your mom be willing to go? They do a fantastic program for parents.</p>
<p>One more thing - if your parent(s) refuse to give consent- keep in mind you won't be 18 until November. You will be one of, if not the youngest in your class. There are many advantages to being older but 30% of the class is over 19 and not coming directly from high school. Some plebes will be in their early 20's.
You can apply next year - there may be benefits to waiting until you are 18. I know you don't want to hear that, but that is the "mom" in me.</p>
<p>Definitely a very sticky situation. How you handle this will matter most on what type of relationship you have with your mom. Whether you're very close or whether you're willing to put that relationship on the line. Yes, waiting another year is an option, but if you get an appointment this year, that doesn't guarantee an appointment next year.</p>
<p>There are definitely 2 ways to confront her; depending on the relationship. You could play hard ball and let her know that this is something that you want to do so badly that if she doesn't consent; assuming you get the appointment; that you will eventually go in anyway. Whether it's via ROTC, OTS, Enlisted, or waiting another year to apply. However, in those situations, not only will she have had to eventually let you go anyway, because she won't have a say so, but that she will also be losing any possibility of a respectful relationship. That you will realize that she doesn't trust you (to make decisions for yourself) and that she doesn't respect you. I pretty much had to go this tactic when I was 17. I didn't turn 18 until September; (September 11th of all days). I sort of called her on it. She gave in.</p>
<p>Another method is to also let her know that any time in the first 2 years, you are allowed to quit without any commitment to the military in the least. If you get an appointment, let her know that signing is only reserving the appointment. That you can change your mind all the way up to the day that you leave for the academy. Let her know that if the academy doesn't seem to be working out or world affairs seem to be volatile, that you can always get out without any problems. Of course, once she signs and/or you turn 18 in November, you don't have to live up to that "Deal" if you don't want to. This will give her the impression that you have thought it out and share some of her concerns; and have kept your options open. (She doesn't have to know how you truly feel).</p>
<p>Of course, as already suggested, getting your MALO to talk to her directly (IN PERSON) would probably help. Have them emphasize the educational opportunity over the military commitment. Concentrate on the positives. Hell, tell her you are voting for Hillary and that she will probably be the president, so she will be pulling people out of the middle east anyway. Basically, confront her concerns with logic and not with emotions. She doesn't have to know your true intent.</p>
<p>Now, some may not believe in my suggestions and consider them deceitful. They are. However; assuming that the mom's response are accurate to their posting and that she truly feels that way, then it appears that the mother has no respect or trust in her own kid. In such case, I wouldn't have any problem with my suggestions. Especially considering the limited time frame the poster has to make a decision and get in. Of course, we are also assuming that the poster is telling the whole story and that the mom doesn't have a valid concern about the poster going to the academy.</p>
<p>My opinion is; If you get an appointment, then you obviously have a pretty good level of intelligence. You should be able to determine the pros and cons for you personally and make a good choice for you. Therefor, she should respect that decision. Basically, she either trusts you and respects your decision and the two of you become closer on a more mature level; or she doesn't respect you and trust you, and you wind up leaving anyway when you can, and now you have a much worse relationship. The question is; how badly do you want to go to the academy. As I posted in a different thread for a different reason, the academy is NOT a regular college. You have to WANT the academy and military more than you want your home town, family, friends, family culture and traditions. You will become a much different person after attending the academy and your commitment in the military. You'll notice it even after 4 months when you go home for Christmas. You won't think quite the same as your old friends. You will have matured quicker. You will have a different view of the world. Time to decide exactly how badly you want to go to the academy. Are you willing to to take it over everything and everyone from your past? It's not an all or nothing where you give your past up, but it's definitely a choice of priorities. Some don't want that extreme. They are more comfortable with joining the guard or reserve where they can do regular college; keep all their old friends; still live close to family; etc... You've got to decide. Good luck.</p>
<p>A few more thoughts here. (And this may or may not be applicable to this particular situation) - Is there another parent/guardian in the picture who could or would sign for you? Is only one parent/guardian signature required on these forms or must both sign if you have 2 living custodial parents? If your mom knew that there was another adult in your life who was willing and legally able to sign those papers and she knew they would sign with or without her blessing, would that change her mindset? </p>
<p>I know it has already been suggested that you use the intellectual appeal factor. If this is not so likely to work with your mom, a different way of appealing to her may be through her own deep-down, heart-felt passions. Is she passionate about any of her own interests or talents or career - Something that if she did not participate in, she would be horribly miserable because she feels like something was missing in her life? Hang with me here -I ask these questions because I sense your own deep convictions and your need to fulfill this longing to serve a greater cause. If you could somehow convey to her that just as she feels compelled to do _________(fill in the blank), that this is your calling in life, maybe she could get a glimpse of your motivation and it would change her perspective at least enough to sign the papers. </p>
<p>Or would she be willing to communicate with other service academy moms who had their own reservations prior to their child's appt, but made the choice to be supportive anyway and who have since changed their views? </p>
<p>I wish I had definitive answers for your situation. Your mom obviously loves you and has concerns for your safety. And selfishly, perhaps she is quietly worrying about who would be there to take care of her if something happened to you. I can tell you that as a mom, I want to be fiercely protective of my offspring. It would be the easy way out for me to encourage them to do something "safe". Yet, just as you've expressed, my sons also feel an unexplainable passion to lead and protect our nation. Because I believe in the greater cause, I am learning to let go, but it is not always easy.</p>
<p>I wish you the best and will be thinking of you as you deal with this situation and your decision. Let us know if things change.</p>
<p>In my opinion, you need to have a frank but gentle conversation with your mother. And you need to understand that she could not even realize what her true reservations are. </p>
<p>I, too, was not very happy when my d told me she was applying to West Point. Part of it was because I see all the potential in her and thought that the Army wouldn't appreciate her or her intelligence. Another part was (is) just plain fear. A mother can't just let go of the overwhelming need to protect her children because they are growing up.</p>
<p>I think I'd follow a few of Christcorp's ideas. Explain the policy regarding being able to leave West Point with no strings attached in the first two years, and the educational opportunities (become a doctor, lawyer, etc.). Then tell her that she did a great job raising you and that you honor that, but that you also need to do what you think is right for you. That you will always love her, and you know that she wants the best for you. Tell her that you are going to have to live with your decisions, and this is what you've decided. Let her know the choices will be all yours once you're eighteen. That if you have to wait a year and reapply that you will. Or you could enlist and not have the educational opportunities that WP can give you. Don't give an ultimatum, but let her know that her decisions have consequences, too.</p>
<p>Be gentle, don't be emotional, show maturity. You need to give her time to get used to the idea. Don't expect her to change her mind overnight. </p>
<p>I found it helped me to accept my d's decision by reading books about West Point, reading postings from other parents with cadets and talking with random Army personnel that I would happen to meet in the course of a day. I made sure that I took my d to WP, especially for the overnight orientation, so I knew that she knew what she was getting into. I would strongly suggest this for you and your mother. I was so impressed with the poise, the professionalism, and the dedication of everyone at WP. She would be, too. </p>
<p>I still have my fears, but I also see how happy my d is fulfilling her dream. That's the most important thing to me, and I'm sure that is what's most important to your mother.</p>
<p>If she'd like to talk to me or any of the other parents here, have her PM any of us. We've been through it and it might help her to talk to someone who has.</p>
<p>Good Luck</p>
<p>Every year a cadet candidate posts this same question. It's a very sticky issue and I'm glad we didn't do that to our daughter. (My mother-in-law still asks her to transfer every time they see each other. ) The interesting point is that several students have said that once their parents learned more about West Point (no, you will not be deployed as a cadet) the pride begins to grow. I'm sure it hasn't happened in all cases, but she could be reacting from just plain fear. Knowledge of the situation will help to reduce the fear. </p>
<p>Good luck, and keep us posted on your situation.</p>
<p>"Man's flight through life is fueled by the power of his knowledge."--or so the USAF says. ;)</p>
<p>A polite, sincere attempt to educate both yourself and your family about USMA and the Army is probably the best 1st course of action.</p>
<p>A big thank you to everybody who posted=] I tried to convince my mom, and in the end she gave up and said ok. I don't think she's particularly happy with the situation, but I'm sure she'll change her mind later. Once again, thank you everyone=]</p>
<p>:) So good to know you do have her blessing, even if she does not really like the idea right now!</p>
<p>I think as parents, none of us are thrilled about the idea of our children being placed in potentially dangerous situations. I am glad you were able to convince your mom to let you go on your terms, and hopefully in time she will come to see that you made the decision that was right for you. Good Luck!</p>
<p>Can you get legally emancipated before then? Would WP accept that if done?</p>
<p>How about suggesting your mom join one of the forums so she can talk w/ other parents? That might help her feel more connected to what you are about to be a part of.</p>
<p>Requiem: I am so glad to hear that your mother came through for you. As others have suggested, you should probably get her involved in the many online forums and resources available to parents. They are pretty persuasive, and I think they can only make her more comfortable with her decision. And bravo to you for following your heart.</p>
<p>Once again, thank you everybody :) In fact, once I showed my mom the grad school rates and stuff, she's quite enthusiastic now...and I told her that women generally don't get combat duty, so she's quite happy about that. I do have one more question though-I received a letter from my POC telling me that I didn't pass one event on my CFA (Flexed arm hang), and I maxed out on every other event except basketball throw(Can't figure that one out). He said that he's "authorizing" me to retake the test. What exactly does he mean by "authorizing"?</p>
<p>Normally, you can practice the CFA test as many times as you want, but you can only submit the scores once. You either pass or you fail. You obviously failed. You can't "Retake" it just because YOU WANT TO. However, the MALO and the military has the authority to authorize you to retake it. It's their game. They make the rules. They can change the rules.</p>
<p>Now, you need to practice and take that test again soon. You're definitely running out of time. There is nothing to say that you have to throw the basketball OVER your head. Just that you knees have to stay on the ground. The most distance I've seen is by throwing it from the side. Imagine your arm was a lacrosse or Jai Alai racket. As far as the "Flex arm hang" goes; it's actually easier for most women if you actually practice trying to do pullups. You can do at least 1. Do that a couple of times, then try 2. Then more. Even if you can't do the required, it will make the flex arm hang much easier. You'll have a lot more strength.</p>
<p>FWIW; it may sound silly to have to do these physical tests, but the truth is you really DO HAVE to be able to do those physical things. BCT and the real military is so much harder physically on you. If you can't pass the CFA you would have a difficult time with some of the other day to day training and fitness.</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>Dang, you beat me to it...</p>
<p>Under normal circumstances, each candidate is only permitted to officially take the CFA once and submit those scores. You are only permitted to retake the CFA if you receive permission from some Academy authority.</p>
<p>You have to retake the entire CFA, not just the part that you failed.</p>
<p>Thank you Christcorps and SteveTheBeav. My POC/MALO mailed me the letter on Jan 29, and I just received it today. I'm going to try again tomorrow and pass on everything this time. Thanks again everyone!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Wrong. The basketball MUST be thrown OVERHAND.</p>
<p>"Sideways" or "Jai-Alai" style would not be permitted as defined in the instrutions, as they are not "overhand."</p>
<p>Go back and re-read the instructions, it CLEARLY states it.</p>
<p>Basketball Throw
The basketball throw measures ability to generate shoulder
girdle power and total body coordination and balance from a
stationary position.
The candidate must:
▼ Keep his/her knees parallel to and behind the
baseline and on the floor during the event. May use
a mat to cushion the knees.
▼ In an overhand throwing motion, throw a men’s
basketball as far as possible (Figure 2). The nonthrowing
hand may be used to steady the ball before throwing, but only one hand can be used to throw
the ball (e.g. no two-handed throws) (Figure 3).</p>
<p>The Figures give a clear indication of what is required.</p>