<p>I just had to post here from the UK because the American perception of Brits is they’re so formal but in my experience all of my children’s friends have always called me by my first name since they could speak. It is quite a shock when American friends’ kids call me Mrs /Ms…</p>
<p>I went to watch my 28 yr old son play baseball the other night. The other people in the stands were mostly wives or girlfriends and they all called me Mrs._______. I was amused. I don’t really care what they call me and it seems like the ones who have known me since high school still call me Mrs. The ones that have been introduced since either call mr Mrs or by my first name. Whatever they are comfortable with.</p>
<p>I prefer being called “Mrs.”</p>
<p>I don’t really think of my kids’ friends as “adults”–they may be of legal age, but they are not at all my peers and I feel it is disrespectful for them to call me by my first name.
I can’t even imagine my kids’ friends calling me “Jane.” And I’m sure my kids wouldn’t DARE call their friends’ moms by their first names. Even if they were asked to, it would just feel wrong.
As a young adult, I would call much older co-workers who were not my superiors by their first names if that is how they introduced themselves. But a superior/boss who is younger than the co-workers would always be called Mr./Ms./Dr.</p>
<p>I don’t think you should use first names until someone asks you to. Better to show too much respect than too little. I don’t like it if parents tell my younger kids (elementary-high school) to call them “Bob and Sue.” I think it gives the kids the false idea that they are on the same level as the adults. (In my experience, these are the same parents who let their kids constantly interrupt adult conversation with trivial comments.)<br>
I’ve always told my kids that they can learn a lot more by LISTENING to adult conversation than by interrupting it ;)</p>
<p>easy-peasy: You call someone what they want to be called. If someone introduces you to someone older, Jane Smith, you say Mrs. Smith until she says “please call me Jane”. I tell my kids’ friends to call me alh. They call me just about everything under the sun. That is fine. I am easy- peasy. I did get a wee bit aggravated by one young woman who spent a half hour explaining why first-naming elders was taboo in her culture. Fine. okay. I told her 3 minutes into the conversation, she should call me whatever she felt appropriate. No problem. Still got the manners lesson :)</p>
<p>You call your professors by their title unless they tell you to call them something different. You can never go wrong calling any teacher “professor” even if that isn’t exactly their title, imho. If you were raised in my household you better remember to call all the MDs “Dr.” or risk a stern reprimand.</p>
<p>I am a returned home southerner, and loving being Miss Alh to all the youngsters. I call all my older neighbors Miss Neighbor. I was very gently steered in that direction.</p>
<p>And another thing: even if you’re on a first-name basis with somebody, don’t assume it’s OK to call them by a nickname or diminutive, even if you hear somebody else using it. He may be “Jack” to his close friends, but still “John” to you.</p>
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<p>While I was raised the same way, I’ve found that such formality would be regarded as “too stiff” or even “too pretentious” in some social contexts. That was one friend’s reaction when he stayed over at my parents’ place while visiting us in NYC. And my parents are much more relaxed about this than my older relatives. </p>
<p>Then again, when I visited his family, even his grandmothers insisted I address them by first name as they don’t abide by that type of formality…especially with close friends of their family members…including their kids. It’s fine…different strokes and all that. :)</p>
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<p>Agreed. One thing I learned from listening to many adult conversations is that they can be more immature, inconsiderate, shallow, self-absorbed, pompous, and other “immature negative behaviors” than many kids under the age of 10. Only difference is they’ve mastered the masking techniques so they can pass as mature in “adult society”. In short, “The Emperor has no clothes”. :D</p>
<p>This has only been further confirmed in my adulthood as proven by the frequency of encountering over 40 folks who text or otherwise use their cellphones while the movie is playing or other examples of rude jerky public behaviors commonly associated with adolescents/young adults. </p>
<p>Ironic considering this behavior is commonly cited in the “get off my lawn” complaints of those in that very group.</p>