Hi!
I’m applying to some really selective schools and some others that I found to be great fits. But now that I think about it, I’m not so sure which are better. E.g for comparisons (taken from the list of schools I’m applying to):
Choate vs. Blair
Andover vs. Kent
Blair vs. Tabor
I personally find it easier to picture myself in a smaller school community. It seems that students generally enjoy themselves more in smaller, less selective schools, than in “acronym” schools. They have a smaller workload and more free time. Although I haven’t visited any schools (I’m a non-US citizen), I’ve done a lot of research about each school I’m applying to, and I feel like I’d have a better experience at smaller schools. If by some miracle, I receive acceptances for more than one school, I’d probably be torn in two.
I don’t think the size of the school is relevant to the workload. DS attends a small school (360). His workload is pretty hefty. Groton & MX are very small too (<400). Their workloads are also significant and comparable to PA and PEA. The difference I felt when we visited the different schools is the “acronym” schools seem to have a different competitive aura among the students. In what you have named as “less selective schools” (I disagree with that statement somewhat…I think they are just less popular schools, so they get less applicants they have to sort through), my perspective is that they do not feel as pressured to always be at academically perfect. The atmosphere seemed more collaborative than competitive. Some people thrive in a competitive atmosphere, some do not. So, I think it depends on you. Also, someone once said “do you want to be a big fish in a smaller pond, or a small fish in a big pond?” These are the things you should consider.
DS wanted a small school…he is pretty introverted and hates large crowds. He generally has a small group of close friends. He likes to know those around him. Smaller schools will give you that. When we walked through campus with him the other day, people called out hello to him left and right & he did the same. We went to meet a colleague for lunch in Providence and a gentleman came up to our table to say hello to him…turns out it was a faculty member, but not one he had had for class yet. That is what you get from a small school.
Fit is going to be up to you. Workload will be similar no matter which school you attend, but the underlying current of the schools will be different.
I hope this helped. I hope M10 brings you great news!!
Personally (and I’m a parent) I think fit has to be THE most important factor, though what that means and what factors affect the kid are going to differ for everyone. In most cases you’re going from living at home with your family and going to school during the day to living among new people – students, dorm parents, teachers, faculty – in an unfamiliar place that is your school and your home. Of course it has to feel comfortable and “right” for you to enable you to thrive and be your best self (though there will always be some adjustment period). Some kids are more affected by the size, level of academic competitiveness, type of non-academic activities, the physical location (town/country, etc.) – that really depends on you. I think it’s easier for adults to talk about “fit” because we know what that means – we’ve been to college, had jobs, worked in offices, bought houses, and have asked ourselves that question – regardless of the qualifications on paper, is this house/job/school “right”? Do I feel like myself here?
I would say that if at all possible, go to re-visit days. I think it is worth a trip. Schools are very different in person than in the brochures and web site. When you’re there, ask yourself, Can I picture myself here? If you sense something is not quite right, listen to it. When we visited my son’s school and did his interview, and then the re-visit day, he consistently referred to it as his “home” – that is a good sign. He’s a fairly touchy-feely kid and pretty tuned in to what appeals to him, and once we visited schools, it was pretty clear where he felt right. I think my younger kid will have an entirely different sense of the right fit.
Be honest with yourself and listen to the little signals, and talk to students and parents. Most of all, good luck on M10!!
@CTMom21 hit the nail on the head!!! If you do get choices on M10, definitely schedule a revisit (or visit in your case). The school DS idolized from brochures and summer impromptu visits dropped significantly down his list after we interviewed there and saw the nature of the student interactions. Neither of us got a good feel, despite everything else about the school checking off his boxes. Fit will be what feels right to you. And it is a thing…a very important one.
If you are able to make it, go to the revisit days!!! I cannot stress this enough. I thought for sure that i already knew what school I wanted to say yes too but when I went to the revisit days my whole perspective changed and I needed up confidently saying yes to my current school and haven’t looked back.
Also, size of school defenitely does not correlate with workload or free time. There are plenty of larger schools that give students more free time or don’t have Saturday classes and plenty of smaller schools that have less free time- be careful about assumptions and really research how structured the environment is…there aren’t always major patterns just based off of the size of the school.
Fit is everything!!! I was accepted to some acronym schools and some lesser known schools and while I could have chosen to go to a more well known, less “hidden gem” school because of the prestige, they just weren’t the right fit for me! Remember, the school you choose is your new home. Make sure that you choose a school that has an environment where you can see yourself thriving and being happy and successful.
Here is a third-hand anecdote from my son’s revisit day at the school he attends. One of the kids on a panel (a senior who was headed to a very prestigious college) talked about being at HIS revisit day at one of the HADES schools that is talked about a lot on CC. The head of school said something along the lines of “look around you – this is your competition.” The kid – although very bright, successful and accomplished – wanted to be at a school where his classmates were his friends, brothers, and support system, NOT viewed as his competition. That had an impact on my son and has held true, and it’s the kind of insight you get at a revisit day (besides the overall “feel” of the schools and the kids) that you won’t get from the beautiful web site or from the acceptance package.
I’m unable to visit, unfortunately, but I have my heart set on Blair. I don’t know what I found so special about it or what set it apart from the rest, but I’ve completely fallen in love. I’m a little worried the “Tuft’s Effect” might come into play with some of my favorite schools, because they know what other schools I’m applying to.
You could send an email to your interviewer saying they are your top choice and you would accept a spot if offered one. (Only do this if you actually would though )
As regards fit, somewhere else on this forum I’ve expressed my view that many, if not most of the applicants are probably bright enough, poised enough and flexible enough to fit in a variety of school environments once you eliminate schools with deal-breaker factors such as availability of specific programs, location, demographics etc. Trust your head and your heart to make the best decision for you with whatever information you have available; everyone will have varying degrees of knowledge about their options and no one can have perfect information. If you keep confident in yourself and are willing to make the most of wherever you land (whether by choice or due to lack thereof), you will likely do very well.
@AppleNotFar Yeah, I understand. I’m a little worried my parents wouldn’t be approving of my decision. I’m sure they wouldn’t decide for me, but I guess I need their 100% approval. The problem is their attitude is more of a “pick whatever’s highest ranked”. And the only school’s name I’m applying to they know is PEA.
But I’m worrying ahead of time, anyway. Who knows if I’ll even be admitted?
I agree with @MAandMEmom If that’s your first choice and of all the schools that’s the one you see yourself at, tell them. As a parent, I’d want you to be in a place where you’d thrive versus a place where you wouldn’t and could possibly either be miserable for four years or leave after the first. Your parents want you to be happy more than anything else. You have to live there & you have to be happy there, not your parents. They know that. And if you do get accepted to both Blair & PEA, I give you even more kudos for not choosing a school because it’s well-known & touted as prestigious. In the end, I think your parents will be on board and if nothing else, telling your first choice that they are your first choice does make a difference.
@brassarrow, I agree with @buuzn03 – I’d be upfront with your parents about where you end up feeling like you’ll be most comfortable and in your element. I am definitely learning as we go along this first year, but I am appreciating more and more how important the “fit” (and intangibles, generally) are. Academics are one of many components that make up the experience. Sure, you want to know that you will be challenged enough and in the environment in which you will thrive, but there’s so much more that goes on, and you want to know (and I think your parents would want to know) that you’re in a place where you feel most comfortable and most yourself. There are challenges of all kinds, but being in a place where you feel like you belong and are basically happy will make it easier to deal with the bumps in the road.
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