<p>I was just wondering how involved parents are in their children's application process. My mom is quite supportive of me but I'm not even sure she knows where I'm applying. I certainly can't see her joining a message board to talk about colleges.</p>
<p>Heh. They might just put my name on his college degree.</p>
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Heh. They might just put my name on his college degree.
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:) Well, at least my last name will be there.</p>
<p>Curmudgeon...hope your dd doesn't get married before she graduates!!! That could put the kabosh on the "name" thing.</p>
<p>Well, we definitely know where he is applying, and which apps have been completed and which not (none! at last!). We proofread the applications before submission, and we comment on the essays ("uh, does this one have a point?"). I have helped get 800-character answers down to 495 a couple of times ("it would be nice if you READ the instructions before doing the work").</p>
<p>The application list includes one school that our son would not have applied to if he were making decisions free of parental pressure, but does not include several other schools his parents would have applied to if they were making the choices.</p>
<p>One of the funniest posts from the past (wasn't meant to be funny) was posted by a young man whose father had filled out one of his applications and, accidentally, put his OWN name as the applicant! It got submitted and the kid was in a panic about how to change it/explain it to the school.</p>
<p>I was the keeper of the calendar; reminding kids of application deadlines and upcoming due dates. Our high school required the kids to turn in their completed application at least a month before it was due at the college; the school mailed all appplication along with recs, transcripts, etc in one envelope. I read essays only when requested, but usually my kids would have a teacher or friend do the editting. I also would call the college later in the cycle to see if the application file was complete. I was amazed how many schools would misplace a part of the file, especially when it all arrived together!</p>
<p>We are not there yet (son is a jr), but I can see that I will have a big part in the organizational aspect of the application process. Because my son's applications will involve multiple auditions, the logistics alone preclude parental involvement. Sigh.</p>
<p>I remember being the parent assigned to run the apps to Fed Ex and PAY for them to be overnighted!</p>
<p>I could've written JHS's post. I planned the vacations for the past two years that involved visiting schools our daughter had wanted to visit. The husband and I read the essays and encouraged her to write an essay from her heart rather than obsess over what her English teacher thought was appropriate which had resulted in a over-processed, mediocre essay. The worst part is pushing to get the other college apps done before we heard from her Early Decision school (long lead time required by the high school). I figure we were supposed to give her the tools and the means to make a college decision and then stay out of her way as much as possible. I'll bet every parent here has had to bite his/her tongue many times during this process to curb the impatient remarks. I am so glad we are done and she is the last child.</p>
<p>My involvement was restricted mainly to deciding which colleges to visit. Of course I gave my D my not so subtle preference. On one trip, I delibrately booked into a hotel in a bad section of the town. When we checked in, we have to talk to the clerk behind a heavily fortified window. It didn't make a difference as my D applied there anyway. Same is true of her final choice. I came home from work one day to be informed that she has declined her place in a prestigious LAC that also gave her a leadership merit award. </p>
<p>I post here because I miss her a lot.</p>
<p>I'm the sounding-board, keeper of the schedule, reminderer (is this a word?) of the deadlines, proofreader and payor of the app fees and organizer of the application files. DD has decided where to apply and completes the apps herself; I once the typist only due to her illness. I've also made a couple of phone calls when DD's schedule did not permit her to make them herself.</p>
<p>I firmly believe the application process should be owned by the future student. However, I know that some kids need more than DD needed; I know of some parents who are doing basically everything for their kids.</p>
<p>I know a student whose mother filled out all his application forms (though presumably not the essays). He was accepted early to UPenn. </p>
<p>We visited colleges together, and my dad is helping me with the financial aid forms, but otherwise I'm on my own. I like it that way, though. I'm not receptive to nagging (it makes me cranky, upset, and unproductive), and other people's involvement (including my college counselor's!) only makes everything more stressful. I've declined whenever they've offered to help.</p>
<p>We helped out just a bit:
Junior year college visits - about 8 days total, several overnights
Paid for SAT study materials and prep course
More summer visits and on campus summer programs
Help with researching, collecting data, and making final selections
Help with logistics and schedules for applications
Fees and financial aid forms, FAFSA and CSS
Followups for missing paperwork when calls needed to be made during business hours.
Travel and hotel arrangements for 6 auditions - more time and money
Deposits, fees, tuition, room and board, travel costs, pocket money</p>
<p>Right now I am nearly all of the involvement since my junior son is barely thinking about college except for that he has to start taking prep courses for the SAT1. He is vaguely aware that the seniors were getting their early responses, something that totally passed by him unawares last year. He is beginning to hear buzzes about college visits, and the counseling dept is starting to send him papers about meetings to discuss colleges and the such. As to starting a college list, well, he is going to need a lot of help. I have left some books around, and he has perused them, so hopefully he is getting some ideas as to what he may want.</p>
<p>Next year I start out as the tour guide showing him the offerings and noting his interests. When the paperwork comes rolling in, I'll be cracking the whip making him fill the stuff out. I'll be the straw boss and the cheerleader in the process, and will also be the quality control inspector. But I won't be doing the actual work, as I have not with any of my other ones. And he will make his mistakes, many of which I will let him make. Both of my others had colleges on their list that were not good picks for them, they had questionable essays, abysmal short answers, and did not pick the schools I would have chosen for them. They discarded schools I like out of hand for trivial reasons, did not follow up on some things they should have despite my pushing, and threw out several packaging ideas. They filled a few apps on line without prepping for them, and who knows what they sent out there. I guess the third will do the same as he has an obstinate streak in him as well. I wll write the checks and make sure that the essential mileposts are met in a timely matter. Over involved? Sometimes, I'm sure. Underinvolved? As well, at times.</p>
<p>My involvement was similar to Sprngfieldmom's. I was the reminderer (sounds like a word to me) - well, maybe coordinatopr is better, but he did the actual work. But I checked it - to make sure forms were filled out properly, essays sounded OK (when he asked me to check them) and for typos and grammar. Since I was going to be paying for the college (less any scholarships he would be awarded) I had a veto over schools that didn't make sense financially (but I only had to exercise it when we received acceptances, and I gave my reasons).</p>
<p>He is at a school that he loves, but he wasn't at the time enthusiastic about applying there, but we quietly insisted. Parents - take note: your kid's aims, interests, thinking can undergo a great change in the few months from January to April. Ours did.</p>
<p>Wow..
My parents cant speak English so I m all on my own.</p>
<p>Chocolateisgood, I was all on my own too, as were my brothers. They shake their heads, and feel that I am overinvolved.</p>
<p>DS1 is a junior; so far, we have visited several schools while on family vacations. The choice of schools we visit is entirely his. At this point, he has about eight schools in mind, and is planning to visit (or re-visit) to sit in on classes in his intended major as one way to form his final list. He has a good mix of matches, reaches and safeties, with a couple of places where he has a shot at merit money.</p>
<p>He has applied for internships and such before, so he is used to writing personal essays. Grammar and spelling are not an issue -- thank goodness he acquired the editing gene!</p>
<p>As far as parental involvement...we bought an SAT prep book (and AP/SAT II as needed). No prep classes. We arrange for travel/lodging; he contacts schools. He doesn't drive yet, so I take him to the post office, but I taught him how to complete the certified mail forms, package things, etc.</p>
<p>Most of my "involvement" at this stage is being on this board, looking online at some of the schools DS is talking about, trying to figure out potential management issues (I've definitely learned from this list about the importance of following up on materials sent, setting up a calendar, etc.). </p>
<p>I talk to DS a lot about what he's looking for and raise some of the issues he may want to consider/take into account -- not only in selecting schools, but in the logistics and time management aspects. It generates lots in interesting and insightful conversations! </p>
<p>He is going to register for next years' classes soon, so he may want to consider courseload combined with applications, Intel project, ECs, etc. He has not wanted to talk a lot about what he wants to write in his essays, though he seems to have some fairly strong feelings on the subject. In short, I guess I'm trying to put some of these issues on the table so we can discuss them and he can mull them over before he gets into the heat of the application process.</p>
<p>He will be calling schools to handle application questions/problems, setting up a database/calendar, etc. I will probably remind him, but I am not managing this process!!!</p>
<p>This may all backfire. However, he has always been tightly focused with a pretty good sense of what works for him. He attended a summer math program this year that really drove home some thoughts about what he wants in college, as well as what he needs to do personally to be successful there.</p>
<p>I am crossing my fingers! I suspect DS2 will be an entirely different story!</p>
<p>Cost of college can buy a very nice car every year, and I do quite a bit of research before I buy a car... I don't know how parents could not involved.</p>
<p>We paid for all of her SAT tutoring, but she was responsible for scheduling and studying. My D, her college counselor and us came up with a list of schools for her to look into(I had the final say). We visited a handful of those schools - all look the same after a while. D was responsible for filling out all apps and art supplements(including her dance video, we paid but she arranged for it). She had a spreadsheet with each school's requirments and deadline. We read all of her essays, made corrections and had the final look of her apps before they were sent out. Come April, it will be interesting on how we are going to make the decision.</p>