<p>Ok What Religion Are You???</p>
<p>Muslim Or Chinese?</p>
<p>You say you don't want to get into religion, but that and your attitude are the only things holding you back.</p>
<p>Let me run through things for you, and this will be accurate for basically your entire life.</p>
<p>The people who like to have fun, will go have fun, with or without you, they could care less if you say "i'm not allowed because of <em>blank</em>", you can't expect them to go out of their way just to include you. </p>
<p>The more serious people are going to study quite a bit, but still go to clubs and dance, EVERYONE likes to be social and have friends, again these people aren't going to just sit in their dorm talking with you every night instead of going out.</p>
<p>The people you find of your own religion will be the most understanding obviously, assuming they take it as seriously as you do. So look into going to a school that's run by your religion (like BYU for mormons).</p>
<p>At most schools, about 95% of the student body will be going out and having fun, to some degree, I don't mean everyone is drinking, smoking, and hooking up, but even the hardcore christians go out and dance, date, all of that. A good way to find people to hang out with could be to walk through the dorms on a friday night and find people who are still there and not hooking up/drinking/smoking in their rooms. But then the shy part gets in the way...</p>
<p>Sorry if I sound pretty negative, but I have very little respect for religions that put very unnecessary restrictions on life. Illegal/immoral things I can understand, but dancing and going to clubs is commonplace. Anyway, if you want to really enjoy college, first you'll need to stop being so shy, that on its own can help a little, then if you want to get the full experience, consider being slightly more liberal.</p>
<p>CHINESE IS NOT A RELIGION! Wow. CC, you are disappointing me :o
Okay, already. The suspence is killing you, I see. I'll come out of th closet now :p
Fill in the bubbles. Can't eat 99/100 of the world's food, can't have sex until marrage :(, wastes 1/7 of his life doing nothing but hybernate and in College, it's 1/2 days you have of spare time (Sat), since religion is HUGE minority (only 1% of world)=MAJOR sukage of dating scene, no flattery with opposit sex (insert W T Figgies here), I could go on and on, but I'll end it here.</p>
<p>Buisnessguy:That's what I'm afraid of. What you are saying is exactly what's in my mind for so long. I definitely am going to have to be more linient in College. You sound negative, but you said it straigit out.</p>
<p>judging from what you have been posting... really the only thing holding you back is yourself...</p>
<p>it is not your relgion or those around you.. it is YOU...</p>
<p>YOU need to take the initiative to talk to people...</p>
<p>people aren't going to want to be friends with you if you're the anti-social type who stays in his room all day... go out and do something fun... (and this doesnt have to mean drugs/alcohol/sex)...just go out and find something that interests you, some kind of recreational activity and DO IT... and meet other people who also like what you like...</p>
<p>theres really not much to it...there's people EVERYWHERE who are willing to be your friend if you open up a little...no matter if you're a muslim/christian/jew/gay/straight/male/female/WHATEVER....no one gives a sht... just go out and have fun!!! thats it!</p>
<p>Go for it on the attitude! I can somewhat relate, since going into high school, I had just moved and it was a new environment. I had been very shy and pretty nerdy I guess, and mostly I spent time on my own playing computer or videogames, basically I was NOT happy with my life.</p>
<p>Going into high school I had the attitude that, if nothing else, I'd be friends with the people who were my complete opposites, the football players. Couple years down the road I'm actually a football player myself, friends with people all over, and have plenty of options for hanging out. At the same time, interestingly enough, I still played the computer games I enjoyed, was in the IB program, and stayed a very high ranked student. So I didn't change things that I felt were very much a part of me, but became a much more well-rounded individual as a result of the experience.</p>
<p>I'd highly recommend taking a similar path, you'll no longer feel guilty about your feelings and duties, but if they truly don't suit the person you want to be, shed them and embrace your true self when you can see all aspects of social life.</p>
<p>Scom: So how do you go about meeting people in College. Telling everyone 'Hi, my name is ____. Would you be my friend?' I mean, you sai take initiative, but how? Just say hi to everyone on campus and make yourself look like a fool?</p>
<p>"Hi. My name is ___. What's your major? What do you think of college so far? Where are you from? What are you doing tonight/this weekend? Do you know of anything interesting going on? Do you want to go?"</p>
<p>-or-</p>
<p>"I saw a flyer/got an email/saw a commercial for ___ coming up. Do you want to check that out with me?"</p>
<p>
[QUOTE]
Scom: So how do you go about meeting people in College. Telling everyone 'Hi, my name is ____. Would you be my friend?' I mean, you sai take initiative, but how? Just say hi to everyone on campus and make yourself look like a fool?
[/QUOTE]
</p>
<p>listen... you can not force a friendship... they tend to just happen...</p>
<p>just talk to people in your classes, the people sitting near you... or when/if you have a group project, talk with people...just bs with people around you. talk about anything...just bs...sports/weather/school/WHATEVER... just TALK...talk about anything...</p>
<p>it's hard for me to describe, because i dont go up to people asking them to be my friend... it just happens...</p>
<p>friendships materialize through good communication and common interests with one another...you have to be able to hold a conversation with someone</p>
<p>i joined two clubs at school... met a TON of people through there...and we have a ton of fun...</p>
<p>also met several friends at work... </p>
<p>you can meet people anywhere... just put yourself out there and go for it man!</p>
<p>So you just walk over to some random person down the street and say 'Dude, I saw ur car. Awesome. Mind if I take a spin' and become best friends? lol. I just thought you meet people from organizations, clubs and stuff? I never got that thing with clubs. Is it just a room where a bunch of people just talk, have meetings about _____, or something totally diffrent?</p>
<p>(My HS dosn't have any kind of club thing or organization. Too small. Just in case ur wondering why I'm asking)</p>
<p>you dont need a club to make friends...</p>
<p>just find people with similar interests and do stuff with them... </p>
<p>there's not much else to it really...</p>
<p>if you're the quiet type who sits in the corner staring into space all day without any interaction with your classmates, then i'm not sure if i can help you... </p>
<p>my best advice to you would be to start out slow...ask some of your classmates about school related stuff...then ask about something else...what kind of music do you like? what kind of movies you into? what sports teams do you like? you like the beach? </p>
<p>after each of these questions... when the other person answers with their interests... respond with what you're interested in and what you like to do...</p>
<p>once you find some kind of common ground, you can start getting phone numbers and going out to places where you know both of you will have a good time...</p>
<p>eventually, you build up a large enough friend base where you'll never be lonely, and theres always something fun to do. It usually ends up being more interesting if you go out with a group of people... end up meeting more people that way as well.</p>
<p>During the first few months of college, NOBODY will know anybody. They don't know you're anti-social, so don't be!</p>
<p>You're going to be living in a dorm, so say hi to people in the hall, introduce yourself. Ask them if they want to go to dinner in the dining hall. Remember, it's your first day, nobody's going to have any other friends, so you will be a stranger at first just like everybody else. They'll all be very eager to meet people. Just talk about their background, beliefs, the weather, anything.</p>
<p>some of my best friends i randomly met at a dining hall. i probably liked their bag, or they probably told me i had cool hair. honestly-- some relationships are formed on silly things like that when you look back.</p>
<p>growing up i never had many restrictions, i just didn't love my high school peers. while i was worried about college, i realized that it'd be the best chance to "develop" and to branch out. it really is like starting fresh. i met people in my dorm, in my classes, randomly on the quad, in activities.</p>
<p>You seem unhappy with your religion, which leads me to wonder why you still choose to follow it... or at least follow it as rigorously.</p>
<p>to build up friendships you need to communicate with same people for a long period of time -- this way you grow used to them and learn more about them, while they learn more about you and grow more and more used to you - you dont go around saying hi to everybody - you may start with getting acquainted with students living in your dorm, because these are the people who you will see whether you like it or not for a looong period of time - there are a variety of common topics that you can talk about with people who live in same dorm as you, such as where to get cheapest food, or what housing off-campus is best, or peoples histories, where they came from, how the like it in college, what their interests and majors are - once you find someone of same major you can always follow up on asking that person about classes, another common topic for conversation with fellow college students - how hard is such and such professor, how interesting is such and such class - this is the easiest route to meet people - at the beginning, universities usually sponsor events that help people meet others</p>
<p>if you cannot drink alcohol and party, the solution is simple - you find non-alcoholic and non-partying interests that will lead you to join some school organization, such as the local newspaper, or community service clubs, or kayaking club or whatever - in a club there are usually senior members who throw out ideas or proejcts to do in future - other volunteer to organize this or that or to participate - there is also sport over which people bond, especially guys - doesnt have to be official sport, as people go out to play tennis, or basketball, or whatever and they usually need a partner or a group of people to go with them</p>
<p>also, dont be afraid to sound stupid - if someone laughs at you, turn and walk away - find the person who will not make fun of you and who youll find at least somewhat interesting to talk with - it is not like everyone else is having an easy time communicating with their peers and finding friends - 40-50% of people are introverted and will feel out of place once in while when socializing - it is also ok to talk on random silly topics with people - it is much worse to appear arrogant, or distant, or anti-social than silly - dont even think about it - most people will chat about stuff without even thinking about it while you are stressing out about what to say, how to make them your friends - say whatever comes to your mind</p>
<p>most of all remember that people like to bond over similarities - some people are very much dissimilar to others and will therefore for life will have trouble seeking out those similar to themselves - the point is not to make a tragedy out of it - if you find at least one person in college who will like you and understand you, thats perfectly fine - if you dont find anybody, thats fine too because many students come out from college and never keep in touch with people they met there</p>
<p>I think u should leave ur religion.</p>