How much anxiety is normal the first week at college?

<p>Personally, it sounds to me like he SHOULD be involved in all the orientation activities as a "new student" to this campus.</p>

<p>My son's school has many kids who come in with lots of credits (APs etc) yet for purposes of housing, orientation, etc, they are classified as "first years" and are supposed to be involved in all that. </p>

<p>I'd probably give the office a call who handles freshman and ask. It may be that there was a glitch in sending him all this information because of the soph classification, but that he was supposed to get it.</p>

<p>Maybe I'm pushy, but I'd jump on this right away. It can have a huge impact on integrating him there, especially because it's such a large school.</p>

<p>He is, for all intents and purposes, a freshman in all ways except academically. And as we all know, there's alot more to the college experience than the academics.</p>

<p>What curiouser says is true. All of the students whom I know who went to college classified as sophs due to credits earned in high school still got to participate in freshmen orientation. It's hard for me to imagine that the OP's S deliberately was not invited to those activities. It sounds like a glitch to me. He or his mom needs to call the office (possibly student activities) and make sure he gets whatever invitations and info he needs to participate.</p>

<p>Normally, I don't suggest that parents intrude by helping out by making such calls, but better that the mom find out the info than the S continue to be left out of important activities that more than likely he's eligible to participate in. At S's school, upperclassmember exchange students from abroad also participated in freshmen orientation.</p>

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I'd probably give the office a call who handles freshman and ask. It may be that there was a glitch in sending him all this information because of the soph classification, but that he was supposed to get it.

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<p>He did get an orientation during the summer for transfers. I wasn't aware that there were so many activities for freshmen the first few days of school.</p>

<p>I'll call first thing in the morning - thanks!</p>

<p>Is the coop the right housing placement for him? Would he be better off in a freshman dorm where everyone is eager to meet friends? Is is too late to change? My sister was a terrible misfit in a coop at Berkeley (lots of hippie kids sitting around partying and not going to class) and it ruined her freshman year.</p>

<p>My D is starting at UT this week. I really didn't see a lot of official University mixers / street dances etc offered to her--not like I had in the good old days @ TAMU. I really don't think its the freshman thing per se, just perhaps the sheer size of UT, plus perhaps the coop thing. Perhaps a dorm switch is possible, and a good idea. Maybe some of the privates like Castillian, Towers etc have slots open, if not the University itself. Gregory gym looks like a great option--you can always ask someone to "spot" you, etc. Too late for this Sunday, but churches are abundant around the campus, and I saw Hillel Association out trying to befriend kids of all faiths during move in day . Hang out at Starbucks. I think that some of the frats are a possibility, although it is probably too late for this semester--he might want to consided next semester, and just check them out now. Some are expensive, others relatively inexpensive. My D's friends who are doing it are actually good young men, and they seem to have a built in support system, not the cut-throat crap the girls are enduring. Friends whose kids have used the FIGS in the past say that they are not all that helpful. And if it is any consolation, I am getting some anxious phone calls too re classes, etc. She seems to be better in 30 mins, and I'm enduring the sleepless nights.</p>

<p>I would also recommend re-assignment into a freshman dorm. All of the other suggestions about clubs and the gym are good, but in a freshman dorm, he'll just have to walk out of his room and he'll have immediate contact with newbies just like himself.</p>

<p>Acinva--Re above-- on campus dorms are at a premium at UT, and there is no freshman dorm per se--about 30% of kids in each dorm are upperclassmen if I recall correctly. Who knows, while we have been coming up with solutions, the other kids have moved into the coop & everything is fine. UT actually sticks kids into study rooms, etc to try to house as many as possible on campus, but can only accomadate a fraction of those who want to live on campus. Most kids who want to live on campus actually apply Sept 1 prior to even sending in their application for school. It is a $50 deposit, and you don't get it back if you decide to go elsewhere. A great way to make extra $$ for the University. Maybe something is open now in the dorms on campus, but I wouldn't count on it.</p>

<p>Sorry, I didn't notice that explanation. In any case, I think being in a traditional dorm or in the main house of a co-op would be better than being isolated in a "guest" house on the property with just one other person.</p>

<p>Update:</p>

<p>Well I haven't even had time to check the forum the last few days, because there was a lot of upheaval. Just when he was starting to do better and get acclimated, the roommate started running a wood sander IN THE ROOM!!! It put up a cloud of dust, and my son got a cough and a headache. Not good for the lungs to be breathing that fine dust. Not to mention not good for his computer or his cat.. Outrageous! I leased a ROOM for my son, living quarters, not a workshop! So...I complained. And guess what? When the guy came to check out the equipment in place of where the bed should be, they found a GUN!!! Yikes! It was a 'Civil War era artifact' but still a weapon, and there was ammo too belonging to a modern weapon. These things were obviously against the coop policy. Turns out the guy had had a previous transgression with weapons before. He's now been given a notice to get rid of the contraband or face eviction, but I sure wasn't going to let my son stay in that environment, especially now that the guy's probably not too happy with getting ratted on. But also it was because it was so obvious he has a complete disregard for the rules and for the wellbeing of others. He never would lock the door either. I was not happy with the fact that he was not immediately evicted, being that it was a repeat transgression, and no longer felt that my son was in a safe environment or that the roommate was trustworthy.</p>

<p>So, 1 day before classes started, he got uprooted again...very stressful! But, the good news is that I think it's all for the best. We just got him settled into a nice private dorm that is being remodeled. They don't have the amenities yet - no washers/dryers or kitchen equipment, but all is on the way. They just installed a plasma tv. So far there are only about 12 students living there, but hopefully there will be more soon. It's coed and since it only opened last week, many of the students are foreign exchanges students. Everyone has been very friendly so far. I'm hoping that it will develop into a tight-knit group with lots of interesting people and diversity. 2 of the students are from Germany and my son is taking 4th semester German, so that's a plus.</p>

<p>This whole situation has been a horrendous nightmare that went beyond mere anxiety about classes. That's not to say that co-ops are bad. I've heard many wonderful things about them and I am very disappointed that it didn't work out. I had looked forward to him having an instant social circle. And as far as I know, this is the only co-op in that group that allows non-student tenants, something I didn't think would be an issue, but my son just happened to get the non-student as a roommate.</p>

<p>Anyway now he's having to start over again with getting acclimated. He's doing better, although having to move a 2nd time in 1 week was very stressful. He had to deal with issues that he really shouldn't have had to deal with. Just moving out and dealing with classes is enough, but these issues were over and beyond the normal. I'm hoping that he has gained strength from this ordeal. </p>

<p>Thanks again for all the suggestions!</p>

<p>Best wishes to you and your son, Lealdragon!! I hope this new situation works out for your son...It could be a very positive experience!</p>

<p>Sounds like your son is now settled into a very nice place. In a few weeks all of the stress he just went through will be well behind him. I'm glad that things now are working out.</p>

<p>having non student tenants means that there is one less layer of protection and resourses for a student....</p>

<p>glad it worked out....weird roommate, btw...a SANDER...what in the world was he doing....</p>

<p>Good heavens! Bless you! Not the kind of intervention a parent wants to be running first two weeks after saying goodbye! Yikes. Certainly did not seem to be a negotiable roommate issue once the antique gun and ammo was discovered..talk about lousy judgment right out there in your face, and you must be making the woodshop stuff up..what was next a bomb factory? If you think I am overreacting..I live a short distance from Virginia Tech, so we are all about telling our kids not to cover for students with grossly impaired judgment. (My nephew was in that dorm where the first killings took place and as you know many students had broken the code of covering for each other and had been worried and scared enough to report behavior that was out of line to adults at Tech but the adult safety net did not function when it was needed most.)</p>

<p>One thing I talked to my sons about when leaving them at a dorm is to not adopt people as their "responsibility" with serious issues when they are only 18/19 themselves and have no idea yet who they are or where they fit in. They are too young to be real counselors although I am all for peer support. Being supportive as new college students is great, but sometimes kids are in crisis and need to talk to an adult. I speak only from memories of a friend on my hall who became extraordinarily needy, careening from taking huge dangerous risks to deep depressions that ended up requiring adult intervention. We waited way too long to ask for help and help was available from RAs and adults who were posted as dorm links. </p>

<p>I hope your son enjoys his new residence and can move on to this new chapter. </p>

<p>Here is hoping the new dorm brings him friendly faces and the chance for a couple real finds as friends. I do agree with earlier posters who thought your son might benefit from matriculating socially with freshmen students who are all newbies. I hope he will identify a couple places where he can be active with other students who just arrived despite his advanced credit standing.</p>

<p>...treat yourself to reading Sarah Bird's "Alamo House:Women without Men, Men without Brains" a novel set in Austin in the 70's in the co-op heydey. I went to grad school there during that time and it struck a chord. You deserve a massage, pedicure, and a big pitcher of margaritas after all that drama in the first week.</p>

<p>I hope all works out well.</p>

<p>FYI - when I started college I was in a temporary triple and after a month when I got my permanent place it was in a different dorm ... moving dorms sucked and made the start of college a little tougher than it needed to be. But after a month or so in my new place I had totally moved on from the first month. Or said another way, my month in temporary housing was about 1 of my 45 month undergrad experience ... the start up issues and changes stink but they typically are just blips at the start of a long (terrific) journey.</p>

<p>I understand what the coops are trying to accomplish - they want the kids to learn to live cooperatively and work out issues on their own. I know that such a setup could be a very positive experience. But they take the idea too far, imo. They didn't seem to know when adult invention was warranted, and even after the management intervened, there was too much red tape to get anything done. I found it preposterous that the guy was allowed to stay there even after he blatantly disregarded the rules and brought in more weapons AFTER he's already been caught with them once before. And my son should not have been the one who had to pay the price, so the guy could keep his woodshop operating. They couldn't even tell me for sure whether he'd be required to move the equipment! but only if the fire marshall deemed it hazardous. It was just crazy.</p>

<p>Anyway, we just took him a minifrig and a microwave. Now he's got new issues to deal with, but they are logistical ones, like where is he going to get food for the next few weeks while the kitchen is being remodeled.</p>

<p>Once the place is finished, it will be really nice, and it's close to campus. We're paying alot more for it, though. His coop was $150 less and it included meals. <sigh></sigh></p>

<p>I'll definitely check out that book - should definitely strike a chord now!</p>

<p>"I understand what the coops are trying to accomplish - they want the kids to learn to live cooperatively and work out issues on their own. "</p>

<p>All are great goals, but most freshmen and many upperclassmen IMO will have enough trouble learning the kind of cooperative and independent living that's required by living in a regular dorm. Co-op living requires skills that many college students aren't ready for yet.</p>

<p>I've been thinking about your son...I'm relieved to hear that he's moved to a better place. As for it costing more, I think most coops require work hours during the week. It sounds like his new arrangement won't require any work hours, so he'll have a little more time to study or make friends.
I still feel sorry for the students left living in the old coop...it doesn't sound very well managed.</p>

<p>You haven't asked it, but I'd say a very HIGH level of anxiety would be considered normal for you after watching and helping your son get through this. I agree with aggiemom--reward yourself with some de-stressing activities. This was rough.</p>

<p>If he is fending for himself for a while foodwise, see if he and perhaps a few guys/gals from the new dorm can purchase a few meals at the Castillian. While looking for dorms earlier this year, I was struck at how good the food looked (for dorm food) and there is an international mix there so his dorm-mates might find a few souls from back home. He might make a few new friends also. The cafeteria folks seemed really friendly, and were even going to let us sample the food. I think the meals would be in the $5 range, definitely cheaper than going to Kerbey Lane or some of the other campus area restaraunts. Good luck--I remember that the dorm food in Austin left something to be desired after the good stuff at A&M.</p>