How much anxiety is normal the first week at college?

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All are great goals, but most freshmen and many upperclassmen IMO will have enough trouble learning the kind of cooperative and independent living that's required by living in a regular dorm. Co-op living requires skills that many college students aren't ready for yet.

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I still feel sorry for the students left living in the old coop...it doesn't sound very well managed.

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<p>Yes, I think you're right. Ironically, the roommate had already been there a couple of years and didn't seem to have any communication skills. He had not yet learned to be considerate or responsible, either. Probably the kids in the main house would have handled it better. A lot of this had to do with my son getting stuck in the cottage with this guy. He had access to the main house for meals & the common rooms, so I didn't think he'd be isolated. But now I think the roommate probably stayed holed up in the cottage and did his own thing and just got too used to it, and wasn't able or willing to adjust to someone 'intruding' in his space. He wasn't even very willing to discuss it; didn't seem able to even be able to handle any discussion at all. And he is 21 or 22!!!</p>

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...purchase a few meals at the Castillian.[/endquote]</p>

<p>Thanks for the suggestion! and all the well wishes!</p>

<p>I agree that a coop is an unrealistic social utopian idea for a freshman sophomore. Instead, it has devolved into a place where a 21 year old who can't conform to dorm life is rooming with an 18 year old...the social deficits being the elder boy's. I hate to make another really bad comparison (please forgive me, but we are still very close to this), but since the full report covering just how much important, crucial data was not shared between faculty, administrators/adults at VA Tech, the mental health clinics on and off campus, the misinterpretation of FERPA privacy rules, and absolute cut off of information between the university and the high school treatment team just came out yesterday...VA Tech also put a 21/22 year old who mysteriously had no peers in his own class in a freshman suite this year. It is not uncommon on larger campuses to put upperclassmen with various valid reasons in dorms dedicated to younger students. </p>

<p>I think mixing older students with newbies has to be intentional to work. Swat for instance has intentional mixing of upper and lower class students in their small LAC setting. Looks like your son inherited a problem student to me, and I am happy he has been relieved from this inappropriate placement. </p>

<p>Send us the good stuff in coming weeks! Down here there is much positive today on the Tech campus on ESPN. Applications were up, actually but they miscalculated yield so many Tech students had housing problems this year.</p>

<p>I think the roomie wasn't even a student--did I misunderstand?</p>

<p>Good advice about exercise and nutrition! I encouraged our D to commit to some type of daily exercise beyond just walking around campus. She found a few "running buddies" and goes for a couple of miles each day.</p>

<p>She was a bit overwhelmed with the way her university meal plan works. They buy their meals in a food court or restaurants in the student union--not my favorite part of this school. The first week was hard for her to get breakfast since she has 8am classes M-F. She had to get organized in order to get lunch. She is doing better now, but it is all part of the package of managing your life on your own for the first time.</p>

<p>She is happy with the academic part of the university but she absolutely dislikes her dorm. She's in a "living and learning community" wing for pre-health profession majors. She is a total extrovert and makes friends with everyone and anyone but she said the people on her floor are very quiet and private. She has not really connected with them.</p>

<p>Her roommate, who is a sophomore, keeps opposite hours, watching movies on her computer and gaming at night into the wee hours and sleeping during the day (skipping classes) when our D wants is coming in and out. Why they paired her with a sophomore, I don't know. She has found a quiet place to study away from the dorm and she has made friends with people outside of the dorm.</p>

<p>She is learning to work it all out. We give her advice when she asks, but we think this is part of the deal of living away from home, learning to adjust, etc. The hardest part for me was not talking to her daily--so accustomed to having talks and hearing all the latest in her life!! </p>

<p>This is such a great place to share and unload and get another perspective--thanks!</p>

<p>I try not to think about it too much! It is normal to worry--My hope is that she will share when she is struggling emotionally and</p>

<p>Right, the roomie was not a student.</p>

<p>S,a soph in an honors apartmentt on- campus housing situation (individual bedrooms) told me the other day one of his firends (different apt) has a roommate who is 28 and even has a food plan (the apts have kitchens). Sounds really weird to me that they would even put someone that old into a traditional dorm setting..even if it is apts, they still have RA's,etc,and that a fellow that age would want to live in those circumstances.</p>

<p>ah, yeah!..sorry..</p>

<p>Update: The new place is very nice, and he's met a few people. Best of all, he's made a new friend (female). However, since the place opened so late, they're only at less than half capacity (15 students, can hold up to 40) and of those only 3 are girls! Turns out 1 of the students is a non-traditional - is obviously older, maybe 30. And another is about 23-25 (we think) and not actually a college student but is learning English...or something. They told me they were definitely leasing ONLY to students. Well, this 30-yo guy IS a student, but...! And the other guy, well that's a bit of a stretch too. I know they are rather desperate to lease the rooms, since they just opened 1 week b4 school started and they've invested a lot in the place. But, they did say it would only be students! Not an issue at all for my son - he doesn't care since he's got a private room now, but his new female friend is uneasy, and my son is concerned on her behalf.</p>

<p>I don't see that there's anything I can do about this, though. I told him to tell his friend she'd need to be the one to speak up, but even then, I don't see it doing any good. There isn't anything in the contract specifying an age limit. I wish they'd find more girls to rent the rest of the rooms to, to balance things out.</p>

<p>So glad he's into a better situation--what a relief!</p>

<p>keep us posted...sounds like a sound start for now, hope your mind is eased!</p>