<p>Quote:
I have two kids who often don't understand "money issues" but I can't imagine that they would be stubborn in the event that their dad lost his job (H is the only money earner). There must be something more going on here. Perhaps you son is somehow really just angry that you haven't been able to find a job yet. Could that be it? Kids are naive about how hard it can be for a "middle aged professional" to find employment after a layoff.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, when my company lopped off over 6,000 heads, I fell into a depression. It is probably easy for a kid to understand depression (and physical illness, the symptoms of which are mostly subjective) and how it can cripple. I do believe he thinks I was idling at his expense. In all honesty, I was near burnout at work -- a long story -- so this might have been a year for change one way or another. Unfortunately for my son, it was a bad year for change. Only in the past 6 weeks or so have I found the strength necessary for a real job search. Encountering past colleagues/prospective employers who said "if only we knew you were available..." comes as welcome validation but is, at the same time, grist for a million "I shouldas." </p>
<p>I want to thank all of you for your understanding, support, and good suggestions -- but I do want to make one thing clear. When my wife glanced at some of the responses to my original post (before she read the post), she wondered if I had portrayed my son as some kind of monster. While alien in many recognizably teenage ways, he is dear to me -- so much so that once we make the decision official, you can expect to find me writing about the huge hole his absence will leave in my daily life. I'm still getting used to his taking the car and staying out late with his friends. I'm not ready to be elsewhere when he gets his first girlfriend (he's a looker, but shy). And I'm not ready to watch football on Sunday without him (my friends are poor substitutes when it comes to acute commentary on the action and the protocols of fandom.) It's not fair: just when they get interesting to talk to, they don't want to talk to you. I simply never read the warning on the side of the box he came in. Someone congratulated me for foresight. Thanks, but that was a miss by a mile.</p>
<p>To luckyducky: 200K is a lot to most people, and parents who offer to make great sacrifices sometimes underestimate the sacrifices they are making. I don't know what risks they face. That's for you to judge. Maybe, and I'm only saying maybe, this is a time for YOU to exercise "tough love." Their offer is made out of deep love for you, I am sure. Just determine for yourself whether it is wisdom or folly, because parents are just as capable of folly as kids. </p>
<p>Twice in 2 weeks, I read that couples should have $1.5 million socked away for retirement. I had to laugh, bitterly. Most middle-class families have less than $30,000 in the bank. Generous monthly pensions have shrunk to piddling ones or even more piddling contributions to 401Ks. God knows what will become of this country. What happens when the second job goes (or, in my case, the first job)? What happens when the housing bubble bursts? Medical science is prolonging life. But at what cost? And what quality of life? I fear that we baby-boomers are headed into a long-term care crisis of unimaginable proportions. We AND our children, for who else will care for us? Not the dwindling population of taxpayers. </p>
<p>They should teach economics in high school. And current events. But they don't. Not in my experience. They teach SATs and how to improve one's score so as to be admitted into the "best" schools. Should luckyducky be weighted down by these immense societal problems? As budding citizens, our kids will soon have votes to weigh in on these problems. But as young adults, they should struggle NOW with how these issues might hit home. When I hear "What can you expected from a 17-year-old," I think "Good question! What can you expect? Luckyducky understands enough to ask. Perhaps she went to a better high school than the average kid. :-)</p>
<p>Dad23</p>