<p>wow, i am in a similar situation as the OP. i was given a full ride to a couple of schools, but I also got into a few ivies too. I will receive zero need based aid, so it comes down to 200K for undergrad versus full ride.</p>
<p>good luck to the OP as i will be making the same decision.</p>
<p>1moremom--then you know what I'm talking about! When my D was wondering whether she had chosen the wrong major and whether it was possible to change majors, I told her I didn't care what she majored in--just so she graduated in FOUR years!</p>
<p>PS: have we met?</p>
<p>
Like Audiophile, it was important to US that our son go to the college which best met his needs. I just wanted to add that it seems likely that ALL the students at the most selective colleges are choosing them over schools where they would receive merit aid. There must be a reason for this -- these are typically bright kids from educated families, so they must have some logic in turning down the merit aid. For some, the need-based aid makes it possible, others choose to take loans. We don't find it particularly easy to make it work, but it is still worth it to us -- what we give up are luxury goods, which aren't important to us anyway. (by luxury, I mean new cars, expensive vacations, early retirement)</p>
<p>Ellemenope-- no, we haven't met. DS is a freshman (living in Mass Hall). -1mm</p>
<p>As a student I am paying my entire bill. I could go wherever I liked, and my parents will help out a bit, but it's my responsibility. I opted for a large state U that was offering me a lot of aid and a tuition free year at grad school.</p>
<p>You realize of course, that for 99.9% (OK, maybe it's like 92%) of families this is totally a non-issue? </p>
<p>I'm sorry, but the main difference between people who shell out $200K and those who go someplace else on scholarship is simply familly income. No amount of "cutting back on luxury goods" fills that gap. It's just too large.</p>
<p>Your question about how education costs impact on long term family finances can vary widely from family to family. However, study after study indicate that most people are saving far less money than necessary for retirement. Fewer companies have pension plans, people change jobs far more frequently, there are troubling questions about social security and the issue of elder health care is of great concern to many.</p>
<p>If your family has deferred maxing out retirement IRA/401k/403b contributions spending $200,000 on your college education could indeed put them in danger of having inadequate retirement resources.</p>
<p>And even if you pledged to pay them back, the time value of money would cost them dearly unless you paid them back with interest compounded at a rate of 6-8%. However it is highly you would be able to do this after graduation at a typical entry level salary.</p>
<p>So while they may have sacrificed to save for your college education, they may be sacrificing much more if you decide to use it. I am not a Californian, but it is my understanding that many of the Ca publics are quite good academically. I would remind you again of the results of the Krueger and Dale study which involved literally tends of thousands of college graduates. The quality of your education and success in life depends far more on what you bring to the table than does the college which you choose to attend.</p>
<p>I attended Ohio State and received a wonderful education which served me well at Cornell as a grad student and throughout my life. I had a wonderful 5 years there(5 yr engineering program in those days) and have never reqretted my decision in the slightest.</p>
<p>Again I commend you and your parents in this situration. I am sure y'all will make the correct decision, regardless of what it ultimately is.</p>
<p>SJmom, if all you are giving up are "luxury goods, which aren't important to us anyway. (by luxury, I mean new cars, expensive vacations, early retirement)" then you are a relatively wealthy person by virtually any realistic standard. In your situation I say more power to you -spend the $200K if you want. I AGREE that the perfect education is worth more than these things. I would give up luxury cars and expensive vacations to enable a better school, too.</p>
<p>This is the kind of statement only someone with a lot of money can make. The value of $200K to you therefore must be relatively less than it is to many others.</p>
<p>The students you refer to who universally decide to spend the money are those, like your child, who come from relative (and note the word relative) wealth. Those who have less may often get need-based funds and are able to attend elite schools, too. </p>
<p>But a family of lesser means than yours (and that probably includes most) is not therefore somehow less giving because they will not forego such things as medical care, a car, or an apartment or modest house in a safe neighborood to send their kid to the best school possible.</p>
<p>This kind of CHOICE can be made only by those, like you, who would otherwise spend the money on new cars and expensive trips.</p>
<p>Just to bring everybody back to earth for a minute in terms of real American families' incomes, here is from a 2005 Census Bureau's press release:</p>
<p>
[quote]
Real median household income remained unchanged between 2003 and 2004 at $44,389, according to a report released today by the U.S. Census Bureau. Meanwhile, the nations official poverty rate rose from 12.5 percent in 2003 to 12.7 percent in 2004, the fourth year in a row that poverty rates increased...The median earnings of both men and women who worked full-time, year-round declined in 2004.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Noteably, as of the last census (2000), the top 5% of families have an income starting at $150,499. Even at that salary, it is probably not easy to swing $45,000 a year, especially given the cost of living in most of the areas where you have a shot at that sort of salary.</p>
<p>Anyway, I don't mean to detract from the OP's original question, but I think most of us on CC would do well now and then to remember that CC is not reflective of the country as a whole - not by a LONG SHOT. Also, many families with fairly high incomes lose track of really how well-off they are relative to the rest of the poplulation.</p>
<p>Luckyducky,
You can ask everyone you meet this question and get a different answer each time and forgive me if I repeat ,as I have not read through every post. We faced the same dilema and yes it has been harder financially but the experience my S is having at Pomona has been something that you cannot put a price tag to. The opportunities and experiences have been life enhancing in so many ways. Would he still make the same money after going to grad school if he took a free ride to the state hionors program. Yes definitely, would he still get into a good grad school yes, would he be the same person no. There is so much more in the experience, knowing professors, working side by side on research, being involved in leadership positions within the college, having late night stimulating discussions in the dorm room with bright peers. We will always meet folks who think we are crazy to take on this financial burden but we have no regrets because of the experiences that have opened up. So maybe our kids will not inherit as much money later after we are gone but I would rather give them this gift now of the best life education. It is a very personalized decision and I would take your parents at their word. Good luck and let us know what you decide!</p>
<p>"We faced the same dilema and yes it has been harder financially but the experience my S is having at Pomona has been something that you cannot put a price tag to."</p>
<p>Why, of course you can. In fact, you actually did. You chose to spend the bucks here, rather than somewhere else or on something else, because of what you believed to be the "value differential" between other possible decisions for the use of resources. </p>
<p>You are blessed to have the resources to be able to make that evaluation, and are happy with the decision (which I think is great!) But don't make believe you can't place a price tag on it when in fact you did just that.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Michigan and U. VA still draw top students, most see far fewer top students than they did when we parents went to college a generation ago. (although one should note the impact of selective recruitment of top students at schools like Georgia and Florida?)
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Newmassdad, it's had a huge impact here in Florida. If anything, the number of top students at UF has grown exponentially each year. Just a few years ago, the flagship UF was the destination for many students near the top of the class; now those kids can't even get in. The ones at the very top are afforded preferential treatment, a big deal at a large state school. I know many, many parents who will not consider <em>any</em> private school or OOS public for their offspring, considering the incentives the state system offers. </p>
<p>Above the cutoffs for GPA, SAT scores, and community service hours, kids can attend any uni or CC in the state system at either a 100% or a 75% discount. The offer also extends to qualified high school students. Both my kids took college classes full-time while still in HS at a cost of $0 for books, tuition, and fees. In addition, because the HS was picking up the tab and the kids were eligible for the 100% discount, they actually got checks back in their pockets from the state for the tuition expense. (Our HS also pays all costs associated with AP tests.)</p>
<p>One took advantage of the state's incentives to earn his degree, and the other didn't. The in-state child was also awarded a competitive scholarship; so he was essentially paid to attend college. Since we had pre-paid college plans for both (also very easy to do here), both kids were reimbursed the total cost of those plans, which our other child was able to apply toward expenses at his private OOS college.</p>
<p>200,000 dollars is enough for 200 1 thousand dollar hookers. So yeah, it's a lot.</p>
<p>
[quote]
We faced the same dilema and yes it has been harder financially but the experience my S is having at Pomona has been something that you cannot put a price tag to.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Exactly the point. There is a price tag on it. And it's hefty.</p>
<p>
Cloverdale, you make a few assumptions in your remarks. My son does qualify for some need-based aid, and we are not wealthy, although we are comfortably middle class. (hence, the need-based aid) Everyone has an EFC -- I firmly believe that almost everyone finds it difficult to meet their EFC, as we do, but it can be attained through loans, savings and current income. There are a variety of posters on this board who will point out that they have lived well below their means for many years in order to afford the best education that they can for their children. We fall into that category. The OP asked if he should take his parents at face value when they assure him that they are prepared to pay for the private college. I offered our experience. I really don't think your comments are appropriate or even well-reasoned. You don't know anything about our income or lifestyle (what we consider luxuries, others may consider necessities) and you seem to have lost sight of the concept of EFC. If we didn't find it difficult to afford our son his college choice, this would have been a no-brainer. As it is, we had to consider the options carefully and chose to relinquish the merit aid offers. I felt that this was the kind of info the OP was looking for, not for gratuitous insults from one poster to another.</p>
<p>My other point was that all the students at highly selective colleges would probably be offered significant merit aid elsewhere. Yet many seem to choose the full pay option, and there must be a reason for that. As far as the value of the education, we will be paying for this for about the next 15 years or so. And we are not young, so I think it WOULD be a luxury to retire sooner.</p>
<p>Luckyducky, what I think you'll find as you read through this thread is that people will always find a way to justify their choices. Those who chose the merit aid over selectivity will tell you why that was the smartest choice. Those who choose the more selective school will say that it's worth every penny. I seem to remember a phrase from a sociology class, "attitude follows behavior." So you probably won't find the answer on CC. Your best option is to sit down with your parents and share your concerns. And then you should believe them if they tell you not to worry about the money -- it's probably the last time in your life that someone will tell you that!</p>
<p>Sjmom, by "comfortably middle class" would you put your income at $45K-$50K/year? Obviously, don't answer that. It's just that that is the income figure of a middle class family in this country. Hardly someone who can forgo some stuff (unless it's like health insurance, retirement, mortage payments and food) and pay for a $45K/year college.</p>
<p>I just re-read cloverdale's post and didn't see any insults in there. Oh well.</p>
<p>Just trying to keep CC real for the kids who might be reading this thinking, "Yeah, why didn't my parents want to pay for "prestigious" college A over "scholarship" college B? If they valued my education, they could have cut back a little."</p>
<p>Weenie, you have a valid point about setting expectations for other kids reading these posts. However, the OP states that his parents have the money available -- that's a different issue from whether or not parents are willing to spend money for College A over College B. Also, as I'm sure you know, the cost of living varies significantly from one region of the country to another. Having lived in California, the mid west and now the northeast, what seems like middle class on either coast would certainly seem like the lap of luxury in the middle.</p>
<p>Also, perhaps I was unfair to Cloverdale. I guess the implication that we are wealthy just rubbed me the wrong way, when we are making SIGNIFICANT sacrifices to make this work.</p>
<p>
And I still come back to the point that the EFC is hard for anyone but the very wealthy to come up with. No one earning $45 - 50K per year is expected to pay $45K per year, unless there are some very extreme circumstances.</p>
<p>the answer to how much is 200k is... enough to buy 25 of my car. that's a lot of money. :)</p>
<p>SJMom, Sorry that you found the tone of my post offensive, but you might look at the tone of yours --which I was responding to. Everything is relative, which I emphasized repeatedly in my response. I did not use the term "expensive vacation" --you did. Your post used the language of privilege and framed sacrifice in terms of luxury. It struck me, strongly. THAT is what I was responding to, not you personally --or even your situation. i do not know you and could never judge you. I am a member of the CC community, too, after all. </p>
<p>If the OP's parents have the money, the OP should go for it. I simply was commenting that $200K means different things to different people. It does not mean the same to someone struggling to pay medical bills or make the rent as it does to someone wondering whether to forgo costly vacations and early retirement. I understand these are sacrifices to you, but it's relative. </p>
<p>It is hard for people to sacrifice that which they don't have and cannot dream of ever having. </p>
<p>My response is not personal. I do not know you or anything about your situation. But one cannot help but notice the rarefied language and sense of entitlement on this board; I think from time to time many of us, including me, fall into the patter. Yet as someone who occassionaly journeys back to that other, grittier world, where a third of high school students do not even graduate, where people have NOTHING, barely dirt, the transition from one universe to the other can be jarring. I was reacting, viscerally, to the chasm between the CC reality and the actual world. Your post seemed to me like a bright line separating one reality and the next. But in a generic, representative sense --do not take my response as a personal commentary on YOU. I do not know you and could never comment on your situation or life.</p>